Grief management in elementary schools grace haglund

1. CPSY 646, Ball State University Grief managementin elementary schools grace haglund

2. Why is this important? • Approximately 1 out of 20 students under 15 have lost a loved one (Coyne, & Beckman, 2012). • Becoming a more common issue for children • Crisis or grief situations affect every person in school- students, faculty, parents • You can never be TOO prepared for helping students through grief

3. What is grief? • Webster says: “deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavementor a cause of such suffering” • Grief can and does affect each person at some point throughout their life • Grief looks different for every person, especially kids • What are some reasons behind why kids may grieve differently?

4. Reasons for different grief • Age • How old a person is affects their understanding of self and others • Development • Whether or not a student is at their appropriate stage of development • If below development, there can be even more serious results on mental health • If the death of loved one was expected or not (Waisanen, 2004).

5. Reasons for different grief Cont. • Gender • Family involvement • Both before and after the loss • School involvement • Whether or not teachers and faculty handle the situation or ignore it- Why this in-service is vital! • If outside resources are provided or suggested to the student • The student’s understanding of death, loss, and grieving (Coyne, & Beckman,2012., Holland, 2008).

6. Why it’s avoided • Talking about death, especially with youth, is taboo in American culture • Bringing up the subject can be intimidating, awkward, and challenging • The student’s peers may not know how to interact with them after a loss • If there are other remaining relatives, they may not be strong enough to help the child (Coyne, & Beckman, 2012).

7. Existing policies • Each state has different laws for their education system-within each school district there are more policies and each school has its own goals, missions, and expectations that aim to meet the needs of students-no specific laws for every school • Nearly every school does NOT have training, or a procedure for helping students who have lost a loved one (Holland, 2008). • Which is why this is important to cover!

8. What kids are up against • Youth are often discriminated against when it comes to being able to feel things and express themselves • Adults may think that children cannot understand loss so it isn’t discussed until after the fact-sometimes then it is covered up with terms that downplay what happened i.e. the parent is “taking a long vacation”

9. Kids are powerless • There are not many places where kids’ voices and feelings are heard or acknowledged- School is one of the few places that can allow kids to express themselves! • If there are outside resources to help them grieve, they cannot transport themselves, or even register for the resources • The remaining family may not think the child should get any outside help- Have to be an advocate for the student, while providing the help you are able to at school

10. From the eyes of a child • After a young person loses a loved one there are many different affects on them • Just like with adults, no two children will grieve the same way • Youth may experience/display: • Loss of school interest: affects grades, attendance, attentiveness in class • Excessive displays of emotion

11. Ways children exhibit grief • Withdrawal from daily activities, peers, family • Fear of losing other loved ones • Aggressiveness towards siblings, peers • Getting into trouble-stealing, vandalizing • Prolonged grief can cause mood disorders • Suicidal thoughts • Stunted cognitive, emotional, social development • They can feel anger, anxiety, depression, and disconnectedness just like adults (Eppler, 2008).

12. What we can do • School policy change • Advocate for set school policies on handling grief • School faculty training • Annual grief management training for all faculty and staff at school • School counselor complete a “grieving loss” in-class lesson- developmentally appropriate for each classroom • Keeping the student’s school life as constant as possible

13. More things we can do • If a student loses a loved one: • School counselor in-class lesson to peers of student about interaction upon their return • Perhaps have students make cards for their classmate • Maintain close communication with remaining family members-see how they’re coping, what youth is like at home • Can possibly have student evaluated for PTSD, depression, etc. (Coyne, & Beckman, 2012., Holland, 2008).

14. Intervention plans for PSCs • Grieving students often react positively to creative expression of their feelings • Encourage activities such as: music, dance, drama, puppets, drawing, painting, etc. • Help the student create a memory book/box of their loved one • Write a letter to the deceased (Holland, 2008). • Encourage the student to try a new activity

15. Intervention plans cont. • Explain that memories of the deceased can be cherished eventually, instead of causing more grief • If the student has disturbing images, you can have them describe them and help process what they may mean (Waisanen, 2004). • Lead strength-based groups for grieving clients, including parents (Eppler, 2008).

16. Can you think of any other intervention activities you would do?

17. Remember… • Do not assume that someone else will help the child through their grief • Every child grieves differently • Take care of yourself while helping others through the grieving process- it can affect you too

18. References • Coyne, R., & Beckman, T. (2012). Loss of a parent by death: Determining student impact. International Journal Of Psychology: A Biopsychosocial Approach/ TarptautinisPsichilogijosŽurnalas: BiopsichosocialinisPožiūris, 10109-123. • Eppler, C. (2008). Exploring themes of resiliency in children after the death of a parent. Professional School Counseling, 11 (3), 189-196. • Holland, J. (2008). How schools can support children who experience loss and death. British Journal Of Guidance & Counseling, 36(4), 411-424. • Waisanen, E. M. (2004). Daddy. Journal Of Loss And Trauma, 9(4), 291-298.