Presented By: Mona M. Johnson MA, CPP, CDP

1. Presented By: Mona M. Johnson MA, CPP, CDP Washington State Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction Mona.johnson@k12.wa.us (360) 725-6050

2. Why Should the WA State Dept. of Education Care About Military Kids? • Addressing needs of the “whole child” (physical, social, emotional, behavioral) are key to measurable/sustainable academic success and student resilience • Providing practical and applicable information to educators will increase their awareness and day-to-day support for these students • Recognizing and addressing issues of risk • Early prevention, intervention, resources/strategies • Fostering resilience in practical and applicable ways

3. What Is Our Role In Supporting WA State Military Kids? • Increase educator (and other civilian) awareness regarding the unique issues facing military kids and their families through resource development, sharing, and training • Link schools with existing national, state, and local programs/services currently available to support military kids and their families • Actively participate in related national, state, and local initiatives supporting military kids, families, and schools

4. Military Kids Whose Parents or Loved Ones Are Deployed . . . • Daily life is disrupted by the departure of a loved one • Experience multiple deployments and reunions • Are impacted by frequency/intensity of media • Can access technology, instant communication - potential for distortion & misperception • Lack connection to “like” others - particularly National Guard and Reserve kids and families (geographically dispersed) • Find usual support systems are no longer adequate • Struggle with school performance and behavior • Look the same but feel “different” • Deserve extra understanding and support from others

5. The “New” Emotional Cycle of Deployment • Each stage is characterized by time frame and specific emotional challenges • Failure to negotiate successfully can lead to strife • Seven distinct stages: • Stage One: Anticipation of Departure • Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal • Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization • Stage Four: Recovery & Stabilization • Stage Five: Anticipation of Return • Stage Six: Return Adjustment & Renegotiation • Stage Seven: Reintegration & Stabilization

6. Stage One: Anticipation of Departure • Timeframe: When family members receive orders • Increased feeling of stress in home • Reality of change ahead is “sinking in” • Denial & anticipation of loss • Focus is on completing family pre-deployment activity checklist • Members may feel more emotional • In case of multiple deployments . . . new cycle may begin before family has had time to renegotiate shared vision from last deployment

7. Stage Two: Detachment & Withdrawal • Timeframe: Last week before Service Member leaves • Service Member is focused on preparing for mission and may distance self from family • Anger, arguments may occur as family prepares to protect themselves from “hurt” of separation • Communication may be difficult • In preparation for loss, family may begin to act like Service Member is already gone • Multiple deployments can result in need to repeatedly create distance; to feel “numb” and avoid emotional connection

8. Stage Three: Emotional Disorganization • Timeframe: 1–6 weeks into deployment • Life without Service Member may initially feel overwhelming • Routines change, responsibilities added • Kids may feel . . . • Numb and not interested in doing much • More irritable than usual • Have difficulty concentrating — particularly at school • Wish things would go back to “normal” • Surprised because things seem to be moving more smoothly now that Service Member is gone

9. Stage Four:Recovery & Stabilization • Timeframe: Usually between weeks 3 and 5 after deployment • Family finally starts to settle into routine of life without Service Member • Coping with changes can be positive for kids • May enjoy new found responsibilities • Sense of independence • Relief that family is functioning well • Coping with changes can be challenging for kids • Difficult time accepting changes • Stressed, depressed, and having difficulty getting things done • Feel unsupported and worried how will make it through • Most of the time there is a mixture of both responses!

10. Stage Five:Anticipation of Return • Timeframe: About 6 weeks before the Service Member Returns • Homecoming is coming! • Family is happy, excited, and feeling boost of energy • Trying to make everything “perfect” for return • Sense of relief that Service Member will be home combined with worries about whether or not they will be the same • If Service Member came home on leave at some point during deployment, that experience may be what family members expect: • Positive Leave Experience = Positive Homecoming • Challenging Leave Experience = Challenging Homecoming

11. Stage Six:Return Adjustment & Renegotiation • Timeframe: About 6 weeks after the Service Member returns • During time of separation Service Member and all family members have changed • Changes may hold pleasant surprises or may cause conflict • Family members may feel overwhelmed by Service Member attempts to get to know everyone again • Everyone needs space and time to readjust • Entire family must begin to renegotiate how household will look now that everyone is together again

12. Stage Seven:Reintegration & Stabilization • Timeframe: Up to 6 month (and beyond) after the Service Member returns • Family continues to adjust to having Service Member home • A “new normal” is established regarding routines and expectations • Members may begin to feel secure, relaxed, and comfortable with one another again • If readjustment challenges resurface, support is important. . . It’s okay to ask for help if you need it!

13. Strengths for Youth Resulting from Deployment • Fosters maturity and personal growth • Encourages independence, flexibility, and adaptability • Builds skills for adjusting to separation & loss faced later in life • Strengthens family bonds • Increases understanding of civics – relationship with community, etc. • Builds resilience • What other strengths result from deployment?

14. Symptoms of Deployment Stress in the School Setting • Unable to resume normal class assignments/ activities • Continued high levels of emotional response (i.e., crying & intense sadness) • Difficulty concentrating in school • Angry, violent, or depressed feelings expressed verbally or through drawings and play • Intentionally hurt self or others • Gain or lose significant amount of weight in period of weeks • Discontinue care of personal appearance • Exhibit possible alcohol/drug use/abuse • Frequent absences • Experience decline in performance & grades that doesn’t improve over time

15. The Tough Topics Series for Educators: • Booklet • 2-Page Topic Sheets • Available at no cost at: • http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

16. Overview: • 17 Pages • Overview of Topics • “How to Help” Strategies • Additional Resources

17. How Educators Can Offer Support to Kids: • Listen • Ask questions as needed • Acknowledge feelings and support healthy expression • Help them feel physically safe • Help maintain sense of hope by taking action • Expect & respond to significant changes in behavior • Coordinate & communicate effectively between school & home Content: Page 1

18. Content: Pages 3 & 4 • Strength Resulting from Deployment: • Fosters maturity • Emotional growth & insight • Encourages independence, flexibility and adapting to change • Builds skills for adjusting to separations & losses faced later in life • Strengthens family bonds • Promotes awareness & understanding of importance of civic duty

19. Content: Page 5 • Homecoming & Reunion Tips for Educators: • Focus on students & classroom learning environment • Provide structure • Maintain objectivity • Be patient and reduce workload as needed • Listen • Be sensitive to language and cultural needs • Acknowledge & validate feelings

20. Content: Page 9 • Stages of Grief & Loss • Shock  Denial Anger  Bargaining Acceptance • Developmental Impact & How to Help • Infants & Toddlers • Pre-School • Elementary School • Middle School • High School

21. Tough Topics 2-Page Information Pages: • Deployment • Homecoming & Reunion • Coping with Stress • Impact of Grief & Loss • Dealing with Death • Fostering Resilience • Talking About Violence, Terrorism & War

22. Supporting Military Kids During Deployment • Content: • Stages of Deployment • Symptoms of Deployment Related Stress in the Classroom • Teacher Intervention Strategies • Strengths Resulting from Deployment

23. Welcome Home: Military Kids, Homecoming & Reunion • Content: • 3-Stages of Homecoming/Reunion • Kid’s Developmental Reactions • Tips for Educators

24. Helping Kids Cope with Stress • Content: • Spectrum of Stressors • Developmental Signs of Stress • Age Specific Strategies to Help • Tips for Educators

25. Impact of Grief & Loss • Content: • Understanding the Grief & Loss Process • Response of Grieving Child/Youth • Academic • Behavioral • Emotional • Social • Physical • Spiritual • How to Help – Infants & Toddlers through High School

26. Fostering Resilience In Kids • Content: • Reducing Risk + Increasing Protection = Resilience • Four Steps to Help Foster Resilience • Tips for Fostering Resilience in the Classroom

27. Dealing with Death • Content: • Basic Understanding of How Kids Deal with Death • Developmental Impact of Death on Kids • Elementary • Middle School • High School • Behaviors Indicating Need for Professional Help

28. Talking to Kids About Violence, Terrorism & War • Contents: • How Educators Can Offer Support • Tips for Talking to Kids About Tough Stuff

29. How might these be helpful to you?

30. Questions?

31. For more information contact: Mona M. Johnson WA State Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (360) 725-6050 Mona.johnson@k12.wa.us http://www.k12.wa.us/ OperationMilitaryKids/ Resources.aspx

32. Final Thought . . . “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”- Margaret Mead