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Social Psych 3 Things that make us feel good: ourselves and others

Social Psych 3 Things that make us feel good: ourselves and others. Lecture 18 4/14/04. So much to tell…. Ironic monitor Attraction Stereotypes. Re-visiting Persuasion. Testing the sound quality of stereo headphones… Vs.

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Social Psych 3 Things that make us feel good: ourselves and others

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  1. Social Psych 3Things that make us feel good: ourselves and others Lecture 18 4/14/04

  2. So much to tell… • Ironic monitor • Attraction • Stereotypes

  3. Re-visiting Persuasion • Testing the sound quality of stereo headphones… Vs. • Listen to a speech advocating tuition increase OR • Listen to a speech advocating tuition decrease

  4. Influenced by Ourselves

  5. Influenced by Ourselves Implications ???

  6. Movie Clip: Sex & The City • Passion w/out intimacy • Unrealistic optimism

  7. Compared to other UT students…

  8. Self-Deception? • 98% high school seniors perceive selves above average in leadership • 0% rated selves below average on ability to get along with others • 25% rated selves as top 1% • 90% of adult sample rated selves as above averagedrivers • 94% of college profs rated selves as better than average at their job

  9. Distortion OR Biased sampling

  10. Self-Service • Overly positive self-evaluations • Exaggerated perceptions of personal control • Unrealistic optimism • Downward social comparisons

  11. What about punctuality? • Housework vs. dishes? Room for Construal Self-Service I • Overly positive self-evaluations • Above-Average: 60% believe happier than most • Overestimate contributions to teamwork • K.A.T.E. N. I know you’d like to think your *** don’t stink… Roses really smell like poo-poo

  12. Which is most important?Rank these traits • Intelligence • Sense of humor • Kindness • Creativity • Sensitivity • Industriousness Is it important for people to be kind, funny, etc. ?

  13. How well do they represent you? Rank again • Intelligence • Sense of humor • Kindness • Creativity • Sensitivity • Industriousness Is creativity your strong suit? Then = 1

  14. IMPORTANCE Intelligence Industriousness Sense of humor Creativity Sensitivity Kindness REPRESENTATIVENESS Intelligence Industriousness Sense of humor Creativity Sensitivity Kindness How well do they represent you? Manipulating relative importance… boosting our self-esteem “I have what’s most important”

  15. Self-serving Biases in Sports Pages: Lau & Russell (1980): • Personal credit for successes • External forces for failures • Players, coaches, commentators: Our team’s ability vs. their good luck • Also on SAT’s

  16. Self-Service II: • Exaggerated perceptions of personal control • Perceive control in chance situations • Tossing dice, lucky t-shirts • Powerball, 1995: pick your own, let computer pick? • “I figure I have a better chance of winning”

  17. Self-Service III Unrealistic optimism • Future oriented; hopeful; confident of improvement • More likely than peers to graduate higher in class, better job, happier marriage, like their 1st job, have gifted child • Fired, divorce, car accident, heart attack, depression (Weinstein, 1980)

  18. Self Service IV • Social comparisons • Festinger, 1954: fundamental drive to evaluate opinions and abilities AND, do so by comparing ourselves to others • WHEN? • Ambiguity • WHY? • Accuracy and Enhancement

  19. Comparing to Feel Good • Downward social Comparisons • w/others who are less successful, happy, or fortunate • Uplifts our mood and improves outlook for future • Life could be worse… • Older woman w/ breast cancer “The people I really feel bad for are these young gals. To lose a breast when you’re so young must be awful” • Young girl “If I hadn’t been married, this thing would have been really gotten to me”

  20. Do we turn to others to determine something as personal and subjective as our own emotions? • P’s given injection • Epinephrine-informed • Epinephrine-uninformed • Placebo • Waited with confederate who “took same injection” • angry or happy • Are they influenced by social cues?

  21. Paradoxical Enhancement Self-Handicapping • PPL worry they won’t live up to expectations; deliberately set up for failure to lower expectations • Drinking, drugs, not practicing • Stress, physical symptoms • “Sandbagging” for all to hear • Saving face AND extra credit

  22. Berglas & Jones (1978) • Experiment on “effects of drugs on intellectual performance” • All P’s told did well; BUT 1 group had insolvable problems • Given choice of: Actavil (improvement drug) or Pandocrin (impairment drug) before next test • P’s from insolvable group more likely to choose Pandocrin. • convenient excuse for failure on the second test…

  23. DISCUSSION • Are positive illusions a sign of well-being or symptoms of a larger problem?

  24. Highly adaptive? • Happier • More caring • More productive • PPL who are depressed or have low SE have more realistic views of themselves than those who are better adjusted

  25. Depressed PPL: Self appraisals match those of neutral observers Make fewer self-serving attributions Less likely to exaggerate control over uncontrollable events More balanced predictions about their future Positive illusions lead to chronic self-defeating behavior Escaping from self-awareness Self-handicapping to underachievement Deny health related problems until too late Rely on illusion of control for protection PRO vs. CON

  26. Determinants of Attraction and Friendships

  27. Determinants of Attraction Here and Now • Situation (propinquity, repeated exposure) • Individual attributes (attractiveness, similarity) • Behavior (conveying liking, clumsiness)

  28. Predicting the Success of Dating Shows Getting acquainted in real-life settings (Sprecher & Duck, 1994) • Random pairing of Ms & Fs on “get-acquainted date” • Questionnaires • Physical attractiveness** • Similarity* • Quality of conversation • Friendship vs. (romantic) dating attraction • M- similarity then attractiveness • F- Quality of communication then similarity

  29. How Does It Feel to See a Perfect 10?

  30. What is Good is Beautiful? • Attractive people are judged to be smart, happy, well-adjusted, socially skilled, confident, and assertive -- AND vain. • Stereotype? • Good-looking people do have more friends, better social skills, and a more active sex life. • But beauty is not related to objective measures of intelligence, personality, adjustment, or self-esteem

  31. Winning friends by being critical, and clumsy • “You look nice” from doting husband vs. bystander at a party: same compliment becomes new and exciting • Very attractive superstar does something embarrassing • Their pratfall boosts rating even higher

  32. Gain/Loss • P talks with “partner” • P eavesdrops on conversation btw. partner & experimenter (evaluating P) • 7 times hears appraisal by confederate • All positive • 3 neg, 1 neutral, 3 pos • 3 pos, 1 neutral, 3 neg • All negative • How do you (P) really like this person?

  33. Winning friends by being critical + + + + + + + 6.42 • - - 0 + + + 7.67 + + + 0 - - - .87 - - - - - - - 2.52 • Working to gain approval? • Deficit Idea? • Discernment/ credibility?

  34. Superstar gets 92% right on difficult test Interview shows high credentials (yearbook editor, president, captain) Average person gets 30% right Interview shows avg. credentials (ran for office, proofreader of yearbook, tried out for team) Winning friends by being clumsy: College Bowl Quiz team try-outs • Interview ends (no pratfall) • OR • Loud crash with coffee spill (pratfall)

  35. Clumsiness Humanizes No PratfallPratfall • Superstar 20.8 30.2 • Average 17.8 -2.5

  36. Caring Happiness Friendship Warmth Trust Commitment  Caring Euphoria Sexual passion Heartrate increases Passion Intimacy Commitment What is Love? FA (68)

  37. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory • Passion • Physiological arousal, longing to be with someone • Euphoria, butterflies in stomach • Intimacy • Close bond, sharing, support, exclusivity • Feeling free to talk about anything • Commitment • Willingness to define as love, long-term decision • Devotion, putting other first

  38. Intimacy Liking Companionate Love Romantic Love Consummate Love Commitment Empty Love Passion Infatuated Love Fatuous Love

  39. Hatfield & Rapson, 1987

  40. Goals of Romantic Relationships Obtaining Sexual Satisfaction? • "Did you think about sex even for a moment during the last 5 min?" • < 26: 1 in 2 men, 4 in 10 women • 26-55: 1 in 4 men, 1 in 7 women   • “I’ve seen you around, I find you very attractive, would you go to bed with me • Man: 100% women = no • Women: 76% men = yes, rest apologetic

  41. “I’ve been noticing you around campus. I find you to be very attractive” (Clark & Hatfield, 1989)

  42. Styles of Loving • Eros • Erotic, passionate, intimate • Ludus • Playful, multiple short-term, no jealousy, shallow • Storge • Slowly developing emotionally & sexually, LT expectations • Mania • Obsessive, jealous, intense, insecure • Pragma • Based on vital stats (ludus + Storge) • Agape • Altruistic love: duty, gentle caring, guided by ideals

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