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Heating Up and Cooling Down: Managing the “Temperature” of Communication. Sharon Zygowicz , Ph.D. Counseling & Adult RE-Entry John Porvaznik Public Safety GateWay Community College. Overview. Frame of Mind Nonverbal Communication Verbal Communication The Conflict The Aftermath.
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Heating Up and Cooling Down: Managing the “Temperature” of Communication Sharon Zygowicz, Ph.D. Counseling & Adult RE-Entry John Porvaznik Public Safety GateWay Community College
Overview Frame of Mind Nonverbal Communication Verbal Communication The Conflict The Aftermath
Frame of Mind How Do We Get Our “Game Face” On?
Ways to Get in the Game Ownership – internal locus of control SLEEP Eat Well Talk to Your Support System Deep Breaths Exercise Meditate Alone Time Laugh Relax
Types of Communication Nonverbal Verbal What % of each?
Ways to Communicate Nonverbally • Facial Expression • Eyes/eye contact • Brow • Mouth • Body Language • Posture • Open vs. Closed • Rate of Movement
Heated Nonverbal Messages “I don’t care.” “I’m annoyed.” “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” “You’re crazy.”
Cooled Nonverbal MessagesLISTENING “I’m concerned.” “I have empathy.” “You make sense.” “I want to help you.”
Heated Verbal Messages • Tone of Voice • Sarcastic • Annoyed/Hostile • Apathetic • Loud/raised • “You”-messages • Should statements/blame or shame • Debating/Arguing • Interrupting
Cooled Verbal Techniques • Acknowledgement/Validation • “I can see how this would really upset you.” • Agreeing – 2% truth • “You’re right about ___________.” • Reassurance • “We can figure this out.” • “Let’s do this…” • Sympathizing • “I’m sorry you’ve had such a difficult time.” • Modeling • Use the calm tone of voice you would like the student to use.
The Conflict • Behaviors of the student • Upset, Aggressive, Threatening, Creepy • De-escalation techniques • Speaking softly • Remain calmer than the other person • Understand the objective (RDC vs Citrix) • Stay focused on the objective – don’t take it personal • Listen and convey empathy • Ask questions rather than making statements • Nonpublic discussion
The Conflict • When to call (threatened, harassed, overwhelmed) • Who to call (co-worker, supervisor, Public Safety) • How to call (IM, phone, hand signals) • What to say (co-worker, Public Safety) • Role of Public Safety
The Aftermath How do you “regroup” after conflict?
Ways to “Regroup” Deep Breathing Take a Walk Listen to Music Talk to Someone Positive Self-Talk Healthy Distraction Reporting Procedures