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Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy

Nova pot k ljubezni. Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo www.imagoslovenija.net. Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo. Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy. Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor

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Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy

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  1. Nova pot k ljubezni Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo www.imagoslovenija.net Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo Validation and Empathy – Healing One Relationship at a Time with Imago Therapy Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor Rudi Tavčar, MBA, univ. dipl. psih. Imago couples therapist, WSP Meta.tavcar@mirabi.org Rudi.tavcar@mirabi.org www.mirabi.org Portorož IFTA 2009

  2. What shall we talk about • Imago couples therapy basics • The role of Imago therapist • Structure of the conscious dialogue – the role of validation • (Demonstration of the dialogue) • Feedback and questions

  3. Imago in Slovenija and worldwide • 7 Imago therapists, 2 educators, 25 in the process of education • 2 WSP • 1 Imago supervisor • Since Jan 2008 – Slovenian Association for Imago Therapy – www.imagoslovenija.net • Imago Relationships International, Harville Hendrix and Hellen La Kelly Hunt, 3000 therapists ww

  4. Roots of Imago therapy • Psychoanalysis, TA, Gestalt, Systemic relational approach, Attachment theory, … • Cognitive approach, Choice theory • Neuroscience and neurobiology • Spiritual traditions of east and west

  5. Relationship is a living being We are two Our relationship is one The needs of the relationship are above the needs of individual

  6. Imago – the imprinted picture of childhood caretakers ++--+--+

  7. Relationship is alive and is developing Romantic Unconscious relationship SYMBIOSIS Real love Power struggle E X I T S Transformation Spoznavanje Decision

  8. Relationship is alive and is developing Unconscious relationship SYMBIOSIS POWER STRUGGLE Romantic phase Real love No aliveness and connection  EXITS Transformation Insight

  9. Relationship is alive and is developing Romantic phase True love Power struggle transformation Insight Decision for a conscious marriage Out of symbiosis into differentiation DIALOGUE

  10. Relationship is alive and is developing Imago Romantic phase True love DIALOGUE Unmet needs childhoud wounds Survival strategies Power struggle Insight into the childhood “baggage” transformation Lost self

  11. Relationship is alive and is developing Nezavedni odnos SIMBIOZA Romantc phase True love Power struggle E X I T S Spoznavanje Decision DIALOGUE Transformation

  12. Relationship is alive and is developing True love Romantic phase Boj za moč I Z H O D I Sprememba Prebujenje Spoznavanje Odločitev DIALOG

  13. Presumption of therapists’ work • Wounds have accrued in relationship and only in relationship they can be healed • Conditions for lasting change of negative behaviour: • Pre-validation • Insight and understanding of me and my partner • Partners validation and empathy • Creating of new positive habits • Personal rational and emotional experience with conscious dialogue that provides condition for change

  14. The role of a therapist • Makes no diagnosis • Does not solve the conflict • Facilitates safe communicational place between the couple for understanding of the reason that brought to the conflict • Out of understanding teaches the couple to change the behaviour that results in a healthy (joyful and loving) relationship

  15. Therapist is not a therapist Therapist is: • Facilitator of the process • Enabler and guide for the communication between the couple • Coach that qualifies the couple to become a “therapist” to each other

  16. Imago tools • Concious dialogue • Parent – child dialogue • Reconstruction of frustration with behaviour change request • Vision • Re-romanticising • Positive flooding Therapist in the process of the therapy teaches the couple to use these tools

  17. Conscious dialogue – the bridge from hart to hart Visiting the partners’ “land”

  18. MIRRORING I heard you saying that.. Did I get you? Is there more? Summary Is this the essence? VALIDATION I understand you… and it is important … It makes sense because… EMAPTHY And I imagine that you might feel… Getting INFORMATION about the other UNDERSTANDING the others logic without agreeing – stepping OUT OF SYBMIOSIS into DIFFERENTIATION Emotions that provide the energy for BEHAVIOR CHANGE Structure of Imago Conscious Dialogue

  19. The result of the conscious marriage • Safe connection • Understanding • Compassion • Recognition of the differences • Knowing thyself • Healing of the childhood wounds • Personal growth • Growth of the relationship • Becoming joyful adult

  20. A New Way To Love Slovensko društvo za Imago terapijo www.imagoslovenija.net WWW.mirabi.org Meta Tavčar, Imago couples therapist, WSP, supervisor Rudi Tavčar, MBA, univ. dipl. psih. Imago couples therapist, WSP Meta.tavcar@mirabi.org+386(0)41 705 120 Rudi.tavcar@mirabi.org +386(0)41 726 853 www.mirabi.org Portorož IFTA 2009

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