Leaders in the Making

1. Leaders in the Making Teamwork – Lesson 10 Communicative

2. Think about it. . . People who matter are most aware that everyone else does, too. Malcolm Forbes

3. Review: Describe the two communication strategies that we have discussed and practiced so far. Then, share your journal entries from the last class. You were to describe yourself as a communicator and then solicit comments from a few other significant people in your life. What are you doing to work on an area of weakness?

4. The “I” No, it is not the latest James Bond movie or a new drug. It’s a powerful form of communication. In the first lesson we discussed reflective listening or repeating back in your own words what the speaker has said. The second lesson had the speaker giving the listener information about the intent of the conversation. In a conversation, if you share what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, understanding, and interpreting, then both you and the listener have a better chance of “being on the same page”.

5. Here’s How it Works. . . • The “I” message frequently works for behaviors that annoy you. When you use “I” messages: • Describe or state the behavior that is irritating or offending you. • Then describe or state the feeling that the behavior is causing in you. • Finally, state the effects or outcome of that behavior. • The purpose of the “I” message is to deal with a problem and express your needs. Instead of being on the attack and putting your listener on the defensive, “I” messages share the responsibility for the problem and set up the situation to result in both parties coming out ahead.

6. For Example. . . Instead of: Try: You make me mad. I feel angry when you talk about me behind my back. I feel like you’re not my friend. Your are such a slob. I get upset when you don’t put your things away. I think you don’t appreciate the work I do to keep it clean. You’re always late. I feel frightened and worried that something has happened to you when you’re late.

7. You Try It! • Instead of. . . • You are always trying to take my friends away. . . • You are always making obnoxious noises. . . • Will you stop copying me. . . • You just knocked my pencil box over. You are so careless. . . • You left your dirty dishes on the counter. You are such a slob. . . • You didn’t take the trash out.

8. Getting There Together Briefing: In this activity you will have a chance to work as a team to accomplish moving a glass of water or beans atop a bandana from the starting line past the finish line. Divide the class into two teams. Each team should have a bandana and a cup of water or beans. Each team member needs to have at least one hand on the bandana. Pull the bandana tight until the cup of water or beans can sit atop it. At the start signal begin moving your cup towards the finish line. The first team to successfully navigate around the obstacles and cross the finish line is the winner.

9. Processing. . . • Where appropriate, try responding using “I” messages. • What happened on your team? • How easy was it to move together? • Who did the communicating? • How did you handle the obstacles? • What are some possible obstacles in communication? • How can you use your navigation skills to navigate around obstacles in communication?

10. Review • There are three parts to a good “I” message. • They are: • Describe or state the behavior that is irritating or offending you. • Then describe or state the feeling that the behavior is causing in you. • Finally, state the effects or outcome of that behavior.

11. Journal #13 Date your journal. Write about someone with whom you have issues. Briefly discuss the issue and then write out a communication with that person using “I” messages to help them understand your point of view.

12. Consider This. . . The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. Thomas Roosevelt