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Difficult Conversations

Difficult Conversations. Objectives. Why we don’t like difficult conversations No action Vs. Action 3 steps to handling difficult conversations. Why we don’t like difficult conversations. Takes time Emotions (ours and theirs) Conflict. No action Vs. action (1/2). No Action

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Difficult Conversations

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  1. Difficult Conversations

  2. Objectives • Why we don’t like difficult conversations • No action Vs. Action • 3 steps to handling difficult conversations

  3. Why we don’t like difficult conversations • Takes time • Emotions (ours and theirs) • Conflict

  4. No action Vs. action (1/2) No Action • Problems escalate • Legal complications • More people get involved • Cost of time, money, resources

  5. No action Vs. action (2/2) Action • Improved working relationships, reputation • More productive, efficient, collaboration • Feel – fair process, listened to - valued • Develops your skills, increased confidence

  6. 3 Steps to handling difficult conversations Step 1: Gain clarity

  7. Make your message clear

  8. Make your message clear

  9. Make your message clear

  10. Step 2 Overrule avoidance

  11. Step 3 Deliver the message

  12. Direct or Indirect Vs. Sensitive or Insensitive Sensitive 4. It’s part of my job to point out problems and ensure we’re as effective as possible. Lets work together to figure out how to do that effectively. 3. Is there any chance there’s something here you’re not seeing? Direct Indirect 2. You’re passing the buck, and you have to change. 1. There is a problem with the way you work. Insensitive

  13. Your turn Match statements to the relevant box

  14. Direct or Indirect Vs. Sensitive or Insensitive 3. Have you thought at all about how you interact with others? 1. We have poor working relationships with each other. 4. I received feedback that others are having difficulties working with you. Lets explore how to change that. 2. People don’t like you, you have to get better at working with others or else.

  15. Direct or Indirect Vs. Sensitive or Insensitive Sensitive 4. I received feedback that others are having difficulties working with you. Lets explore how to change that. 3. Have you thought at all about how you interact with others? Direct Indirect 2. People don’t like you, you have to get better at working with others or else. 1. We have poor working relationships with each other. Insensitive

  16. Techniques to avoid • Ordering, directing: ‘you have to…’ • Warning, threatening: ‘you’d better not…’ • Preaching, moralizing: ‘you ought to…’ • Advising, giving solutions: ‘why don’t you…’ • Evaluating, blaming: ‘you’re wrong…’ • Interpreting, diagnosing: ‘you need to…’

  17. You Vs. I

  18. You Vs. I

  19. Overview • Step 1: Gain clarity • Step 2: Overrule Avoidance • Step 3: Deliver the message

  20. Questions?

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