380 likes | 539 Views
Keeping’ Love Real: Healthy/Unhealthy Relationships. Mr. Chis-Luca. Let’s start with some ST A T I S T I C S …. No matter who you are, you can be affected by dating violence. . About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship.
E N D
Keeping’ Love Real: Healthy/Unhealthy Relationships Mr. Chis-Luca
No matter who you are, you can be affected by dating violence.
About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship.
40% of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
Teen dating violencemost often takes place in the home of one of the partners.
95% of reported cases of dating-domestic violence to the police are committed by men against women.
The remaining 5% of reported cases are committed by women against men.
In an unhealthy relationship … One partner … • Uses threatening or violent behavior to get what he/she wants • Uses put-downs or dirty looks to scare the other partner • Plays mind games
In an unhealthy relationship … One partner … • Is isolated from friends, family, and activities • Uses guilt to control partner • Trying to embarrass partner, especially in front of friends
In an unhealthy relationship … One partner … • Makes all the decisions • Uses jealousy to justify actions • Always wants to be together
In an unhealthy relationship … One partner … • Forces sex • Keeps the fact that they have a sexually transmitted infection a secret • Refuses to use safer sex methods
Physical - pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, biting, pulling hair, throwing, stomping, cutting, grabbing, punching, choking, using a weapon, not letting you sleep
Emotional - Put downs, calling names- stupid, ugly, fat, crazy, etc., playing mind games, making you feel crazy, making you always feel wrong, humiliating you, not allowing any privacy
Sexual - rape, withholding sex as a punishment
Economic - Controlling someone’s money without their consent, taking someone’s paycheck
Isolation - Using jealousy, preventing you from going out, getting a job, going to school, seeing your family and friends, intimidating family and friends so they won’t see you anymore
Social Status - Using your background against you (sexism, homophobia, racism, anti-immigrant)
Verbal - Aggressive/demanding communication, non-affirming, name calling, silencing you
Harassment - Nagging, threatening, being forceful/won’t let up, aggressive
Peer Pressure - Being coerced into actions that you are not comfortable with
Intimidation/Threats - Scare tactics, fear of death/harm, rumors, telling family and friends, using objects
Stage 1 = Tension Building ABUSER MAY… PARTNER MAY… • Pick fights • Act jealous & possessive • Criticize, threaten • Drink, use drugs • Be moody, unpredictable • Be crazy-making • Feel like he/she walking on eggshells • Try to reason with the batterer • Try to calm the abuser • Try to appease the batterer • Feel afraid or anxious
Stage 2 = “Explosion” PARTNER MAY… ABUSER MAY… • Verbal Abuse • Sexual Assault • Physical Abuse • Increase control over money • Restrain partner • Destroy property, phone • Emotionally Assault -Experience fear, shock -Use self-defense -Call for help -Try to flee, leave -Pray for it to stop
Stage 3 = “Honeymoon” ABUSER MAY… PARTNER MAY… • Ask for forgiveness • Promise it won’t happen again • Stop drinking, using drugs • Go to counseling • Be affectionate • Minimize or deny abuse • Forgive • Return home • Arrange for counseling • Feel hopeful • Feel manipulated • Blame self • Minimize or deny abuse
Communication Both partners … • Can share their feelings and needs • Are equally committed to the relationship • Can share person with others without feeling jealous • Are willing to compromise
Both partners … • Do not lose sight of who they are • Share a basic value system • Have common goals and a sense of direction
Respect Both partners … • Can share their sexual history • respecting each other’s sexual boundaries • Are able to say no to sex • Practice safer sex methods
Ingredients for a healthy relationship … • Mutual respect • Trust • Honesty • Support • Fairness/equality • Separate identities • Good communication
What to do if a friend needs help … • Approach your friend and say, “I’m worried about you because …” • Listen and believe what your friend tells you. Don’t judge or blame. Say, “this is not your fault.” • Show concern. • Offer support. “What can I do to help?”