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OPPS!

OPPS!. Russelll C. Endicott 1218 Frederick Ave. Salisbury MD 21801 Home Phone; 410-860-5660 Office Phone: 410-543-6075, ( please not too early). In response to application queries:. Position Desired: Gud Job

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OPPS!

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  1. OPPS! Russelll C. Endicott 1218 Frederick Ave. Salisbury MD 21801 Home Phone; 410-860-5660 Office Phone: 410-543-6075, (please not too early)

  2. In response to application queries: Position Desired: Gud Job Challenges Desired: Seek challenges that test my mind and my body, since the two are usually inseparable.

  3. Education: • Attended University of Vermont 1890-1994 • Attended the University of Michigan (will receive the degree when I pay the tuition I owe.) • Curses in liberal arts and curses in accounting.

  4. Qualifications: • Here are my qualifications for you to overlook: • Flunked my CPA with high grades • I was a CFO for a wholesaler of women’s slacks. We also sold men’s bottoms. • Business skills: Word processing, pitching hay and shearing sheep • Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head. • I am a rabid typist • Precious jobs include:

  5. Work Experience: • Maintained files and reports, input data and cashed employees’ paychecks. • Develop and recommend an annual expense fudget • Dealing with customers’ conflict that arouse. • Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes.

  6. Reason for Leaving Last Job • Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches • The company made me a scapegoat, just like my other three employers. • I was working with my Mom until she decided to move. • Maturity Leave

  7. Hobbies/Personal Interest: • Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.

  8. Achievement/Awards and Other Great Entries: • I have learnt word perfect 8.0 computer and spreadsheet programmers • Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department • Responsibility makes me nervous • Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer • Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store

  9. Notes at the end of some Resumes: • Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep • I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please do not let them know of my immediate availability • Please call me after 5:30 as I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.

  10. As seen on some cover letters: • Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty. • Let’s meet so you can “ooh and ahh” over my experience. • You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. • Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. • Exposure to Spanish for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.

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