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Self Care is Not Selfish!

Self Care is Not Selfish!. Preventing Burnout, Anger and Compassion Fatigue. Your Name Your Organization Today’s Date. Discuss our stress temperature. Assess our self-care routines. Explore boundaries, triggers, and understanding anger as a secondary emotion.

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Self Care is Not Selfish!

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  1. Self Care is Not Selfish! Preventing Burnout, Anger and Compassion Fatigue Your Name Your Organization Today’s Date

  2. Discuss our stress temperature. • Assess our self-care routines. • Explore boundaries, triggers, and understanding anger as a secondary emotion. • Reflect briefly on resiliency and compassion fatigue. Our Goals Today

  3. Whether you like it or not, most of you are on the ACEs frontline. Without proper boundaries and self-care, you are likely to experience the emotional residue of working with trauma impacted young people and families. • Physical – loss of sleep, not eating well, low energy • Emotional – anxiety, sadness, numbness • Behavioral – absent minded, losing things • Cognitive – diminished concentration,loss of focus, hypervigilance • Interpersonal – mistrust, withdrawal • Spiritual – workplace frustration, feeling lack of support, not satisfied On the Frontlines

  4. While you cannot eliminate stress from your life, you can take steps to ensure that stress does not overwhelm you. • Self-care is not a sign of weakness. It is a preventive measure, not just something we do when we are already feeling completely overwhelmed. • TURN AND TALK • What is your stress temperature this week? What is it usually? • Where on your body do you feel stress? Stress can affect the whole body! • Begin the Self Care Assessment. Let’s Talk About Boundaries

  5. What made an impression on you about this activity? • What did you notice while completing the checklist? • How did you feel after the checklist was completed? • What thoughts do you have about the areas where you are doing well? • What areas would you like to change or improve? Self Care Assessment: What Did You Notice

  6. Taking care of yourself should be enjoyable. If it feels like a chore, try something else! Timing: Small Doses are Better than No Doses • 2 minutes • Breathe • Stretch • Daydream • Take your stress temperature • Acknowledge an accomplishment • Say no • Compliment yourself • Share a favorite joke • 5 minutes • Listen to music • Have a cleansing cry • Chat with a colleague • Sing out loud • Jot down dreams • Step outside for fresh air • Enjoy a snack or coffee • 10 minutes • Evaluate your day • Write in a journal • Call a friend • Meditate • Tidy your work area • Assess your self-care • Draw a picture • Dance • Listen to soothing sounds • Surf the web (but avoid media) • Read a magazine • 30 minutes • Get a massage • Exercise • Eat lunch with a colleague • Take a bubble bath • Read non-work related literature • Spend time in nature • Go shopping • Practice yoga • Watch your favorite TV show.

  7. What are boundaries and why are they important? • What do boundaries do for us? • What do boundaries do for the people we serve? Let’s Talk About Boundaries DO NOT CROSS  DO NOT CROSS  DO NOT CROSS • Establishing boundaries strong enough to protect us but flexible enough to allow healthy connections is key.

  8. Don’t judge or fear your emotions. • If you don’t recognize your feelings, you can’t change them, negatively impacting your relationships, job performance, and overall happiness. • What do notice in our bodies? • How do we get support? Let’s Talk About Boundaries

  9. Why Do Kids Fall Apart with Me? • Think of someone you are working with and are concerned about . . . - What do you think they are they feeling? • What do kids and parents want? - To be heard, belong and feel like they matter

  10. The following list includes some of the most common emotional triggers, meaning you react when you feel as though you aren’t getting, or will not get, one of these needs met. Let’s Talk About Boundaries Which of your needs, when not met, are most likely to trigger a reaction in you?

  11. What About Resiliency? • What is Resiliency? • What are Protective Factors? • What does it take to bounce back from adverse conditions? • What keeps you moving forward in your day to day? • What are your protective factors in your agency/community ? • Resiliency TRUMPS ACES

  12. Emmy Werner and Resilience • Kauai Longitudinal Study began in 1955 and lasted for 40 years. • Followed 698 children – the entire birth cohort for the year 1955 – from infancy to midlife at key periods of development. • “High Risk” participants had complications at birth and lived in chronic poverty, in unstable households with poorly educated mothers with mental illness. • 1/3rd of high risk children grew up to be competent, confident, caring adults that achieved success equal to, or exceeding, that of their more stable peers.

  13. Resiliency Risk Factors (Do we have direct control over most of these risk factors?)

  14. Protective Factors Identified by Werner

  15. Meet Emmy Werner • Distinguished Friend of the University Award at UC Davis. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzcLo-LHTms View Online

  16. The Resiliency Wheel

  17. How Resiliency Happens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r8hj72bfGo View Online

  18. How Resiliency Happens Much of what we see as problem behaviors should actually be viewed as a personal solution to an unrecognized prior adversity. It actually is a survival skill and astrength. Instead of asking “What is wrong with you?”, can weask… “What has happened toyou?”

  19. We experience compassion fatigue – a profound emotional and physical erosion – when we are unable to refuel and regenerate ourselves. This is when our empathy shuts down. • Wishing a student would just get over it (“Suck it up.”) • Blaming students for their problems • Using anger or sarcasm when trauma symptoms manifest • Lacking Empathy or fearing what the student will start to talk about • Ignoring clear signs of trauma or the student altogether. Personal Impact – Compassion Fatigue

  20. Recognize and act on the ethical duty to provide yourself with regular self-care! • Exercise • Gratitude • Routines • Staying Present • Watch for burnout • Check in with yourself weekly • End each day with a strength • Less judgment, more grace • Acknowledge effects of trauma for ourselves and our colleagues • Don’t work alone - get regular and open input from others Self-Care: An Ethical Obligation

  21. Be clear, consistent, predictable and follow through • Validate • Assume positive intent, build on success, rather than establishing limits • Deescalate • Check assumptions - observe and ask questions • Deeply listen, notice strengths and successes • Maintain high expectations What Can We Do?

  22. Beyond the CliffLaura van DernootLipsky View Online https://youtu.be/uOzDGrcvmus

  23. By understanding ACES and having a trauma lens,you have the abilitytosignificantly impact the trauma trajectory of the kids you workwith. Kids personal solutions have a purpose and are critical for their survival . Do not take away their solution before they learn a new one that works forthem. Do not lower your expectations for kids withACES Do not take things personally, it is not about you. Step aside and listen. Becurious. The Bottom Line

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