desert rainbow Sedona, AZ April 2001

1. Eating Right, Feeling Good: how do I get there from here? KC Hayes, DVM, PhD Brandeis University Waltham, MA desert rainbow Sedona, AZ April 2001

2. Basic assumptions…. • Assumes that we have enough resources to be concerned with how best to use them. • Hunger and poverty are not primary issues. • Rather we are trying to achieve the most meaningful existence in the face of relative abundance. • The Mind/Body connection plays an important role in maintaining our balance.

3. Behavioral Pyramid to Eating Right, Feeling Good Food CHO,fat,prot Our behavior is based on BELIEFS and ATTITUDES lodged in our primary script…. Exercise body health the Mind/Body connection Sexuality (love) affection approval appreciation acceptance * Financial Security power control assurance “driven by our primary script” kc hayes 2006

4. Behavioral Pyramid to Eating Right, Feeling Good Security of all types is the cornerstone of our pyramid…. * Financial Security power control assurance “driven by our primary script” kc hayes 2006

5. Financial Securityattributes… • Controlling the Fear Factor (anxiety) speaks to the heart of daily survival for all species, with death as the ultimate fear…viewed as the UNTIMELY EXIT. • eg. deprivation of either food or love induces great anxiety/fear, as any physical or emotional pain sets off automatic alarms in our nervous system. • Having the $$$POWER to control our environment and relationships is traditionally thought of as security… • eg. consider the history of wars that seek dominance by force or the idea that we can buy all the food and love we want. • POWER and MONEY can be viewed as shielding the EGO against the fear and shame of defeat. But both are ultimately glass shields that shatter in the face of reality…. • eg. consider the feeling that you “have everything”, but still seek meaning in life.

6. FEAR(for survival) drives our behavior by riding its three dark horses of the night… • …of failure (the loser syndrome) • …of being unloved/unlovable • …of being abandoned (loneliness) • “Running out of TIME” ushers in the FEAR of FAILURE with negative automatic thots (NATS) buzzing in our Mind.

7. TIME, CONTROL and MONEY • “TIME is MONEY”…or so it’s said. • CONTROLLING my TIME exercises my POWER to secure a path on the road to riches (soothing my anxiety and placating my EGO) . The EGO likes to think it is master of TIME. It’s not. Only NATURE (God) controls TIME. • PROCRASTINATION/avoidance (TIMEdiversion) is a way to prevent failure. If you never start something, you cannot be accused of failing to finish it ON TIME … • Here again we attempt to protect the EGO from failure.

8. the EGO vs the SOUL • But deep down it is NOT the EGO (Superficial Self) and its “story line” we seek to satisfy, but rather the SOUL, ie. our True Self (feelings current) that typically plays second fiddle to our dominant EGO. • Thus all communication has a “story line” and a “feelings current” that must be reconciled to get to “feeling good”. • M/B awareness of these considerations and how to restructure (rewrite) a defective primary script is where one encounters the “feeling good” aspect of living day-to-day.

9. Imagination input (thots) Sensory input sights sounds smells taste touch triage (cerebrum) Story line EMOTIONS (amygdala, limbic) Feelings current THOUGHTS MIND / BODY union SOUL 1 Meaningful Communication 1. Story Line…(facts) 2. Feelings Current…(like a river running thru us) behavior personality (+) LOVES (induce healing) (- ) FEARS (inflict suffering) Based on BEHAVORIAL TRAINING and our PRIMARY SCRIPT SOUL 2 (+) LOVES (- ) FEARS Living is all about relationships, and how we relate to each other’s SOUL….in trust ….via honest communication, or not. If we do it right, we’re happy ; if not, anxiety casts its shadow on our soul.. SearchForSoul kc hayes 2005

10. Soultalk Communication…. • Life is TIME spent. Living is TIME spent in community. • Life without loving is TIME wasted on the outskirts of living. SearchForSoul kc hayes 2005

11. Behavioral Pyramid to Eating Right, Feeling Good To communicate effectively one must become a loving person….. * Sexuality (love) affection approval appreciation acceptance Financial Security power control assurance “driven by our primary script” kc hayes 2006

12. Sexuality • Sexuality sits at the very core of our Soul and reflects both generic (biological) and learned (environmental) behaviors. • Very complex : • Powerful reproductive aspect (testosterone, estrogen) • Complex social, relational component to ensure togetherness (parents, family, social peers, self-awareness) • Basic attributes of Soul characterize our sexuality: (+) LOVE (joy and interest) AGAPE, PHILIA….. ADIKIA, EROS (-) FEAR/anger and SADNESS (SHAME)

13. The MIND Sensory input (touch / pain, eyes, ears, taste, smell, hunger) (cerebrum) EMOTION (amygdala, limbic) dopamine, adrenalin, serontonin, sex hormones THOUGHTS (-) negative thoughts FEAR…abandoned, failure, unloved ANGER… neglected, deceived SADNESS/grief…loss distaste… poisonous, disgust dis-smell… aversion, foul DEVELOPMENT Initial Attachments (genetics / environment) (+) positive thoughts JOY INTEREST (LOVE) “I can”… builds SOUL shame depression “ I can’t”…destroys SOUL • AGAPE • PHILIA • EROS • ADIKIA SearchForSoul kc hayes 2005

14. TRUTH (wisdom) Sensory input (touch / pain, eyes, ears, taste, smell, hunger) (cerebrum) EMOTION (amygdala, limbic) dopamine, adrenalin, serontonin, sex hormones THOUGHTS MIND/BODY (-) negative thoughts FEAR…abandon, fail, unloved ANGER… neglected, deceived SADNESS/grief…loss distaste… poisonous, disgust dis-smell… aversion, foul SOUL spirituality sexuality LOVE ACTS BEAUTY music art verse trust hope faith grace DEVELOPMENT Initial Attachments (genetics / environment) (+) positive thoughts JOY INTEREST (LOVE) “I can”… builds soul GOD, NATURE holy, sacred shame depression “ I can’t”…destroys soul • AGAPE • PHILIA • EROS • ADIKIA IDENTITY (EGO…me/you/others) attach / separate SearchForSoul kc hayes 2005

15. TRUTH (wisdom) Sensory input (touch / pain, eyes, ears, taste, smell, hunger) (cerebrum) EMOTION (amygdala, limbic) dopamine, adrenalin, serontonin, sex hormones THOUGHTS MIND/BODY (-) negative thoughts FEAR…abandon, fail, unloved ANGER… inattention SADNESS/grief…loss distaste… poisonous dis-smell… aversion SOUL spirituality sexuality LOVE ACTS BEAUTY music art verse trust hope faith grace DEVELOPMENT Initial Attachments (genetics / environment) (+) positive thoughts JOY INTEREST (LOVE) “I can”… builds soul GOD, NATURE holy, sacred shame depression “ I can’t”…destroys soul • AGAPE • PHILIA • EROS • ADIKIA Communication thru listening, prayer, meditation INTIMACY (vulnerability…empathy) Affection, Ethical communication, Inclusion / Exclusion IDENTITY (EGO…me / you / others) attach / separate RELATIONSHIPS… ..TRUST : “art of listening for the echo of one’s soul in that of another” SearchForSoul kc hayes 2005

16. Behavioral Pyramid to Eating Right, Feeling Good * Exercise body health the Mind/Body connection Sexuality (love) affection approval appreciation acceptance Financial Security power control assurance kc hayes 2006

17. Exercise…. • Maintains body functions and normal physiology ….including stress control. Energy utilization and total energy balance are key. • Mental capacity and body functions are enhanced in direct proportion to exercise. 1-2h walk per day is ideal. • Helps control fear/anxiety (NATS) ....depression. • The Mind/Body connection converges where thoughts intersect with the emotional center…balanced and refreshed by exercise. • Meditation/prayer are a means of facilitating the M/B connection by suppressing our negative automatic thots (NATS) …thru self-awareness and communication between EGO and SOUL.

18. Output Words Acton Body language Inputfrom senses, thots Superficial self Unconscious, Defensive Thots driven by assumed (false neg) beliefs Personality/Behavior EGO Mind Thots.…Feelings Primary Script Conflict zone creates anxiety* True self Conscious Awareness based on true beliefs The NOW...in-the-moment presence Enlightenment refined, essential emotions Soul reality Love-Joy Peace *The duality and tension between Mind Thots (EGO) and Soul Beliefs (reality of ‘what is’) is the root of ALL conflict in life, resulting in anxiety. ENLIGHTENMENT occurs when fusion is achieved and the EGO assumes SOUL beliefs, ie. your personality is in step with reality, the honest YOU. The trick in life is acknowledging ‘What’s Real’, ie. telling yourself and others the Truth, then moving to accept it in your behavior. The Mind and Resistance (to reality) are synonymous. Only by accepting the reality of ‘What is’ can we free the Mind from dominance by EGO (Superficial Self) and be in touch with the Soul (True Self), ie. EGO thots (past and future) cease to exist and you are present in the NOW (in-the-moment awareness) without anxiety or worry. One must suffer (emotional pain) to overcome Resistance and experience new growth patterns. Grow with the flow. Do not linger in the past (with regrets) nor dwell on the future (for salvation). Both are illusions. The only reality is NOW, where all living takes place. Learn to live openly and positively in the NOW, and the future will take care of itself.….after Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie.

19. Behavioral Pyramid to Eating Right, Feeling Good * Food CHO, fat, prot Exercise body health the Mind/Body connection Sexuality (love) affection approval appreciation acceptance Financial Security power control assurance kc hayes 2006

20. USDA Dietary guidelines…2005 • Fuel for the body is necessary, but need balance and moderation. • Balance food and physical activity • Eat a variety from all groups • Choose nutrient dense foods • Read labels • Limit saturated fat, cholesterol, salt, sugars • Take care when eating out • 100 calories/day equals10lb/year

21. USDA Food Pyramid (ambiguous, not very instructive or self-explanatory)

22. Harvard School of Public Health Food Pyramid Willett, WC “Eat, Drink, and Be Healthy” 2001,2005 Calories in=energy burned CHO as whole grains (fiber) Fat:protein ratio % calories Phytochemicals Calcium/vitaminD n6/n3 fatty acids (no trans!) Folic acid/vitB12/vitA/vitC High glycemic index beans, lentils, peas, soybeans phytochemicals oats, whole wheat, brown rice aerobic, anerobic weigh scales

23. Summary • Wellness is a complex construct based on feeling secure • Security can be traced to support, especially love (agape) • The M/B connection keeps the EGO in touch with reality (the Truth) of soul needs (True Self) • Good Nutrition and Exercise (eating right, energy balance) are key components of M/B wholeness (feeling good)

24. “Be well…always remember I care” So it is that Love, disguised as many things, arrives unheralded, yet enduring, like the flowers in the Spring. …from “Susan’s Smile” kchayes 2004