An Australian example of therapeutic post-separation family mediation

1. International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 The Parental Regard model: An Australian example of therapeutic post-separation family mediation Bill Hewlett Clinical Services Specialist, Post-Separation Practice Relationships Australia NSW Amelia Wheeler Research Officer, Relationships Australia NSW PhD Candidate, University of New South Wales www.nsw.relationships.com.au

2. About Us At Relationships Australia we assist parents and care givers in the formation of a parental alliance so their children can thrive. Relationships Australia offers counselling, mediation, dispute resolution, relationship education, early intervention services, community support, employee assistance programs and professional training from more than 150 centres nationally. Our education and training division, the Australian Institute for Relationship Studies (AIRS), is recognised as a centre of teaching excellence and is supported by our research and clinical practice expertise. www.nsw.relationships.com.au

3. Context • Legislation • No fault divorce included in the Family Law Act (1975) • Major amendments to the Act in 2006 (‘Shared Care’ Amendments) • Compulsory to attend mediation prior to Family Court • Judges directed to consider ‘substantial and significant time’ with each parent • Amendments represented a significant shift in the way separation and divorce was managed by the Government • Transfer from the Family Court to the Human Services sector resulted in the establishment of Family Relationship Centres across Australia. Relationships Australia NSW manages six centres. www.nsw.relationships.com.au

4. Policy narratives • United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989) – a significant influence on policy and organisational ideology in Australia • ‘Best interests’ of the child – a legal term used in Australian legislation, however the definition is subjective. Child Inclusive process utilised in the Family Relationship Centres • Evaluation research with separated families shows that the family form is not so important, but ongoing conflictbetween parents affects child wellbeing www.nsw.relationships.com.au

5. Family Relationship Centre Standard Process Standard Process Parent Contact –parent A contacts the Centre Family Advisor – parent A sees Family Advisor for 1.5hr session Family Advisor – Family Advisor invites parent B to an individual 1.5hr session (optional) A Certificate enabling a Parent to go to Family Court can be issued at any time by the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner Educational group Pre-mediation Joint session/s Additional sessions Children’s session Feedback Further joint sessions www.nsw.relationships.com.au

6. Clients • Client profile • Children and wellbeing • Around 25% of children whose parents separate will experience mental health issues (compared with 12% from families that never separate) Sawyer et al, 2000; Kelly & Emery, 2003; McIntosh, Wells & Long, 2007 • Domestic violence and high conflict between parents • 72% of fathers and 75% of mothers surveyed experiencing domestic violence accessed the Family Law system in 2011. DeMaio et al, 2012 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

7. Theoretical Considerations • Attachment Theory • ‘What we get exclusively from the family is love, and the capacity to form intimate attachments... • Emotional security does not lead inexorably to good character or good citizenship, but insecurity interferes with the formation of every social connection… • It increases the chance that we will react to others with avoidance, fear, anger and hostility.’ Rosenblum, 1995 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

8. Amendments to the Family Law Act (2006) Signalled a shift towards supporting separated parents through the use of dispute resolution and conflict management, and away from court. International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

9. Family Relationship Centres Managed by non-government organisations, these centres are based in the community and include case management, parenting seminars, referrals to counselling and group programs, and the provision of no-cost family dispute resolution. International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

10. Towards Cooperation away from litigation Many of the disputes over children following separation are driven primarily by relationship problems, rather than legal ones (Kaspiew, et al., 2009). A major motivation for the reform to the family law system was the problem of the disappearance of fathers from their children’s lives after separation and divorce (Parkinson, 2006). International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

11. Best Interests of the Child Research findings support the idea that the quality of relationships between parents, as well as the relationship between parents and children, matters for children's wellbeing (e.g. Amato & Gilbreth 1999). International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

12. Attachment Theory A child has a relationship with the parent’s relationship. www.storyofneo.com.au www.nsw.relationships.com.au

13. Impact of the FRCs In 2009, a study which reviewed the efficacy and impact of FRCs in Australia, found that approximately 40% of parents who used FDR services reached agreement and did not proceed to court. There is evidence of fewer post-separation disputes being resolved via the use of legal services, and more disputes being resolved via the use of family relationship services. International Commission on Couple and Family Relationships 2014 www.nsw.relationships.com.au

14. A shift in how a ‘good outcome’ is defined Previously the primary focus was on a parenting agreement. Now, we focus on a parental alliance. www.nsw.relationships.com.au

15. Neurobiology • Our focus as children, on our short term survival, has superseded attention to all long term maintenance. This is akin to burning the furniture to survive a freezing winter. Louis Cozolino • It is important to understand that the brain altered in destructive ways by neglect and trauma can also be altered in reparative, healing ways. Bruce Perry • www.storyofneo.com.au www.nsw.relationships.com.au

16. Cortico-Hippocampal help The Social brain, given the opportunity, is always happy to help resolve a distressing relational situation, willingly providing data for insight and reflection. www.nsw.relationships.com.au

17. Evolutionary theory Unfortunately evolution has not seen fit to invest much neural circuitry into self-awareness. Louis Cozolino www.storyofneo.com.au www.nsw.relationships.com.au

18. Facilitating the creation of neural pathways Ideal learning environment Too much stress Not enough stress www.nsw.relationships.com.au

19. Fast and slow circuits www.nsw.relationships.com.au

20. Key structures of the brain impacted by trauma www.nsw.relationships.com.au

21. ‘J’ Curve www.nsw.relationships.com.au

22. The ‘J Curve’ Model • Dumb and curious form of enquiry to elicit information of intent, impact and effect on others. • A Attunement • E Engagement and Empathy • I Intent and Impact • O What do others see? • U What else could you do? www.nsw.relationships.com.au

23. Contact us Relationships Australia NSW www.nsw.relationships.com.au Australian Institute of Relationship Studies (AIRS) Training and Research Division www.airs.edu.au The Story of Neo www.storyofneo.com.au Bill Hewlett billh@ransw.org.au Amelia Wheeler amelia.wheeler@gmail.com www.nsw.relationships.com.au