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Question 1. Aiming for Top Band. Step 1: READ THE QUESTION!!!. 1: Imagine you are a newspaper reporter working in the nearby town. Write a report using this headline: Lone fisherman survives storm of the century In your report you should include the following:
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Question 1 Aiming for Top Band
Step 1: READ THE QUESTION!!! • 1: Imagine you are a newspaper reporter working in the nearby town. Write a report using this headline: • Lone fisherman survives storm of the century • In your report you should include the following: • • what happened to the fisherman and his surroundings • • why he refused to leave his home • • how this will affect his way of life in the future. • Base your report on what you have read in Passage A. Be careful to use your own words. • Write between 1½ and 2 sides, allowing for the size of your handwriting. • Up to 15 marks are available for the content of your answer, and up to 5 marks for the quality of your writing.
You have been asked to write a news report (article). You must ensure that you are writing in the correct form. The headline reflects the sensational tone they want the article to be in. Imagine you are a newspaper reporter working in the nearby town. Write a report using this headline: Lone fisherman survives storm of the century
Form • What are the features of a newspaper report? • Overview paragraph to start • What? • When? • Where? • Who? • How? • Why? • Eye-witness accounts • Facts and statistics • Sensationalist language
Getting it right from the beginning… Yes No In this article, I will be writing about a fisherman and a storm. • Last night, the tiny, isolated village of Little Herrington was savagely battered by some of the most violent storms since 1987.
Form: Your Turn • Look at the three questions on your sheet. • What form have you been asked to write in? • Which key features will you need to use in your piece?
Highlighting Bullet Points • In your report you should include the following: • • what happened to the fisherman and his surroundings • • why he refused to leave his home • • how this will affect his way of life in the future.
Using your highlighters • Read through the text and highlight elements from the passage that will help you answer each of the bullet points. • N.B. You are allowed to use highlighters in your planning. You can highlight the text as much as you like. The notice about not using highlighters refers to your actual written response.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • The response reveals a thorough reading of the passage. • Try to use elements from across the whole text in your answer. • Use synonyms of some of the key words in the passage to show that you understand what it is about.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to the fisherman and his surroundings? • Paragraph 1: • As I start my diary it is with a heavy heart. This community used to be thriving, but storms have destroyed almost everything I hold dear. My father told me that 80 years ago this place was alive with fishermen, boat-builders and their families. Everyone met in the hall to hear music and tales of the sea, and there was a little chapel and a fish market. Since that time, the fishing trade gradually declined until few of us were left. Living on this narrow spit of land was always dangerous, and many houses were made only of wood and plaster. They went first, taken by those terrible storms. Then floods came and people left, buildings were demolished and their remnants slipped beneath the shingle.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to the fisherman and his surroundings? • Paragraph 5 • I also remember another storm that caught us unawares as we were hauling the boats and the heavy, sodden nets up the shore. Fishing is no easy life, but even then we could still make a living when the herrings were plentiful. A sudden, monstrous wave smashed into our village on the spit and we had no defence. I was fortunate and managed to grab hold of a jutting rock, but several of the boats, our livelihood, were swept out to sea. That was 15 years ago.
Example: Bullet Point 1: What happened to the fisherman and his surroundings? • Paragraph 7 • I predicted this storm and it is the most magnificent I have ever known. It has unleashed a swirling mass of water that no person could withstand. I have attempted to confront this tempest, but it beats me into a crouching apology of a man. The rain smashes itself against my little house like a demented hail of shrapnel. I shout at the top of my voice in defiance, but the elements drown me out. Behind the sheets of rain, I see the frenzied waves rearing their heads against me. Although I am afraid, the sight of such a monstrous sea always excites my very being.
Example The village, identified as one of the most hazardous areas of Britain, has often been the victim of horrific storms. 15 years ago, many fishermen lost their boats, and their only means to earn a living, when huge waves battered the narrow coastal hamlet. Last night’s storm was equally ferocious. Enormous waves were churned up along the shoreline and a torrential downpour slammed against the lone fisherman’s home. P1 P5 P9
Your Turn: Bullet Point 2: Why does he refuse to leave his home? • Try to find three different points from three different paragraphs that will help you write about this second bullet point.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • A wide range of ideas are applied. • Try to cover at least two or three different ideas per bullet point. • If you are using different parts of the text, you are more likely to hit this point.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • There is sustained use of supporting detail, which is well integrated into the response, contributing to a strong sense of purpose and approach. • Make sure that you are consistently using ideas from the text throughout your response. • Make sure you are clear about the purpose of your piece. Try to use features associated with that purpose.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • Developed ideas are well related to the passage. • When you have an idea, try to cover more than one aspect of it. • Make sure that your ideas are covered in detail.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • All three bullets are well covered. • It’s vitally important that you give yourself enough time to cover all three bullet points equally. • After planning, you should have about 30mins to write your piece – this means 10mins per bullet point. • If you can, try to cover more than one bullet point per paragraph of your own writing.
Inference: The Third Bullet Point • The third bullet point often asks you to make some guesses about details that are not explicitly discussed in the passage. • This means you need to infer ideas from the text.
Inference: The Third Bullet Point • How this will affect his way of life in the future? • You need to try and use the information from the text to guess/infer details to use for this bullet point.
Examples Staying Leaving He wants to live with his family He would be safer He can no longer repair his home or boat • He enjoys the storms • Has survived so long, why leave now? • He likes being isolated
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band • The response makes a convincing and consistent representation of… • Make sure you are fully focused on the task throughout the piece. • If you have been asked to create a ‘voice’, make sure that it is consistent the whole way through.
The Mark Scheme – Aiming for Top Band: Quality of Writing • Ideas are expressed in a wide range of effective and/or interesting language. Sequence is sound throughout. • Make sure that you are choosing interesting words and phrases to present your ideas. • Try to use a range of devices such as metaphors, similes, rhetorical questions, as appropriate. • Make sure that there is a logical order to your work. Make sure your paragraphs are well linked. • PLAN!
Superlative Personification • The village, identified as one of the most hazardous areas of Britain, has often been the victim of horrific storms. 15 years ago, many fishermen lost their boats, and their only means to earn a living, when huge waves battered the narrow coastal hamlet. • Last night’s storm was equally ferocious. Enormous waves were churned up along the shoreline and a torrential downpour slammed against the lone fisherman’s home. Embedded Clause Variety of sentence lengths. Links between paragraphs Varying sentence starts.
Your Turn • Using your notes about the second bullet point, write at least two paragraphs that cover the second bullet point. • Highlight the devices and links you have used. • Start with the line: • Despite the fearsome conditions on the island, Adam Smith refuses to leave…