Clear Writing

1. Clear Writing English Writing Workshop Bioforsk, Ås Spring 2009 Agro LinguaKarl Kerner - Måltrostvn 1A - 3142 Vestskogen - karl@agroling.no

2. Warm-up translation Please translate to your native language: I was told that I had been awarded the scholarship by my professor.

3. Academic writing = Foggy? Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

4. Who can find them? There are three misstakes in this sentance.

5. The three levels of writing • Mechanics – spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc • Composition & style – The essence of writing? • Meta-level – Ideas, thoughts, logical connections

6. Tips for clear writing • Use the active voice • Reduce wordiness • Be careful with modifiers • Combine or split sentences • Avoid expletives • Avoid nominalization • Use parallel structure

7. 1. Active and passive voice Active – Subject performs the action: • The dog bit the boy. • The scientists performed experiments. Passive – Subject is acted upon • The boy was bitten by the dog. • Experiments were performed by the scientists.

8. Active vs. passive voice Active voice: • Clear, direct and shorter! Passive voice can be useful, e.g.: • Subject is obvious, unimportant or unknown • In scientific writing (objective, impersonal) • For rhetorical purposes Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

9. 2. Reduce wordiness It’s like pruning an old apple tree, e.g.: • A total of 23 samples = 23 samples • The final outcome = The outcome • In spite of the fact that = Although • Due to the fact that = Because … and many more! Search for: ”eliminating wordiness” or ”deadwood phrases”

10. 3. A modifier is… … a word or phrase that describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a concept. • A green tree. (adjective) • She kindly invited us. (adverb) • Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, Fred found he could get much better gas mileage. (phrase) Careless use of modifiers causes unclarity.

11. Misplaced modifier I was told that I had been awarded the scholarship by my professor. = My professor told me that I had been awarded the scholarship ? - Or - = I was told that my professor had awarded me the scholarship? Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

12. Dangling modifier Afterreadingthe original study, thearticleremainsunconvincing. DidtheARTICLE (subject) readthestudy? Probably a person did! Afterreadingthe original study, Ifindthearticleunconvincing. Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

13. 4. Split or combine sentences Do you sometimes ”get lost” in a long sentence? The interaction between Hellenistic Greece and Buddhism started when Alexander the Great conquered Asia Minor and Central Asia in 334 BCE, crossing the Indus and Jhelum rivers, and going as far as the Beas, thus establishing direct contact with India, the birthplace of Buddhism. Often, splitting a long sentence into several helps!

14. Split or combine sentences The interaction between Hellenistic Greece and Buddhism started when Alexander the Great conquered Asia Minor and Central Asia in 334 BC. In crossing the Indus and Jhelum rivers, and going as far as the Beas, Alexander thus established direct contact with India, the birthplace of Buddhism.

15. Split or combine sentences Sometimes, combining sentences can shorten and simplify a passage: • The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, NM aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words) • The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, NM aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words) Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

16. 5. Expletive constructions (Norwegians beware!) It is / There is / There are There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend … Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend … It is inevitable that oil prices will rise. Oil prices will inevitably rise

17. 6. Avoid ’nominalization’ (substantivsjuke) The current focus of Bioforsk-Plantehelse is disease prevention. Bioforsk-Plantehelse currently focuses on disease prevention. “If you sense something soft and mushy in your writing, check for a verb that’s been nouned.”– Patricia O’Conner

18. 7. Parallel structure • What’s wrong here? The candidate's goals include winning the election, a national health program, and the educational system. Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

19. Parallel structure The candidate's goals include winning the election, enacting a national health program, and improving the educational system. Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

20. Parallel structure - Lists Incorrect: • Prepared weekly field payroll • Material purchasing, expediting, and returning • Recording OSHA regulated documentation • Change orders • Maintained hard copies of field documentation Correct: • Prepared weekly field payroll • Handled material purchasing, expediting, and returning • Recorded OSHA regulated documentation • Processed change orders • Maintained hard copies of field documentation Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

21. Paramedic method • Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) • Draw a box around the "is" verb forms • Ask, "Where's the action?" • Change the "action" into a simple verb • Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom) • Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups • Eliminate any redundancies.