Wednesday August 13 th at 2pm EST

1. Connecting to Grief, Connecting through Grief Webinar Series: The 4 F’s of Grief Wednesday August 13th at 2pm EST Thank you to our sponsor

2. Connecting to Grief, Connecting through Grief Webinar Series: The 4 F’s of Grief Wednesday August 13th at 2pm EST Thank you to our sponsor

3. A Grief Journey • When we don’t feel good, we don’t do “good”. • It’s hard to think/act in healthy ways. • It’s easy to focus on comforting ourselves or coping with instant gratification in mind. • These tend to be unhealthy coping mechanisms. • Sometimes feeling like “just surviving” is all we can manage. • Focus goes to work, school, family, etc.

4. What Can We Do? • Remember: Grief is a journey – not something you just “get over”. • We can Actively Move Forward (AMF) together! • Have a plan set out. • 4 F’s outline. • Be realistic. • Things don’t always go as we planned. • Be flexible. • Self-compassion doesn’t mean letting yourself go or making excuses. It means understanding and encouraging yourself.

5. What Can Others Do? • Be: • Realistic • Flexible • Compassionate • Encouraging • Supportive • Patient • Loving • Independent • Don’t: • Push too hard • Assume things are alright • Tell them to get over it • “Lead” them through their grief journey • Expect them to “get better”

6. Feelings • Can get pushed away or “under the rug” so individuals can deal with fast paced, busy life. • That doesn’t mean these feelings are gone. • Outsiders may see this as individuals getting over their grief. • Some times people are scared to deal with them. • Many say they have dark things inside and are afraid that once they are out they won’t go away or know what to do with them.

7. Feelings Why? A few ideas Need ways to acknowledge and cope with feelings. Journal thoughts, memories, struggles, successes, etc. Talking to someone – friend, family member, professional or other trusted individual. Create something. What do you do to process and embrace your feelings? • Unrecognized/ignored feelings can cause: • Stress • Health issues • Lack of sleep • Monkey mind • They can also effect mental health issues. • Dealing with feelings can actually free us to feel better, do better, and act better.

8. Food • Comfort can be given by “controlling” their food intake. • This can be both healthy and unhealthy, depending on choices made. • It takes time and energy to think of and/or create a meal. • Grieving individuals may not have the time, energy, or motivation to do this. • Grief and depressive symptoms can effect food intake. • It can sometimes reach extremes.

9. Food Why? A few ideas Create a healthy relationship with food: Cook/bake as a healthy coping skill. Plan meals in advance Look for ideas on internet, Pinterest, cookbooks, etc. Make plans with friends or family. Ask yourself if you are eating for hunger or eating emotionally? What can you do to improve your relationship with food? • Food is nourishing to our bodies and minds. • Malnourishment can effect: • Strength • Motivation • Brain function • Bodily functions • Balancing out comfort food and healthy food can create a healthier mind set.

10. Fitness • Working out takes energy and motivation. • Many know that the more you work out, the more energy you have, but starting to work out in the first place can be difficult. • Grief may increase a sedentary life style. • Some may feel “too weak” to work out. • Feelings of physical weakness due to grief is normal. • Over-exercising can be an issue too. • Some individuals feel the need to “work it out” and exhaust themselves until they can’t do it anymore.

11. Fitness Why? A few ideas Be fit for you: Exercise with a friend or family member. Think outside the box. Don’t overdo it – start slowly. Something is better than nothing. Make small healthy choices – stairs instead of the elevator. What will you do for your fitness today? • Exercise has so many benefits: • Improves brain function. • Helps regulate systems in the body. • Raises self-esteem. • Exercise can also help us to process emotional issues. • It can also turn into a social activity. • Fitness classes, community runs, being with friends, etc.

12. Fun • This can be so easily overlooked. There are so many pressures and expectations in life. • Fun becomes something to schedule, something that takes money, or is too much “work” to do. • Sometimes individuals may have too much fun and ignore responsibilities – this is usually a way to ignore difficult times. • Alcohol, recreational drugs and risky behaviors are sometimes used to “diminish” effects of grief – which is a myth.

13. Fun Why? A few ideas Gage your fun: Little things Watching a great movie Going out to eat Creating something Bigger things Try something new Plan a trip Change things up What fun things are you going to plan? • We can learn from children – they take grief breaks. • They can’t be constantly bogged down in grief. Most take a grief break so they can feel like a kid and play. • Doing something fun can help us to deal with difficult times. • We can be more resilient when we allow ourselves permission to have fun .

14. Lay it Out • Plan ahead: Find a time or times you feel good and plan for the harder times. • During hard times, it’s even more difficult to think of good, healthy, or fun things. • Write these ideas down. • Make it as simple as possible. Keep this information as accessible is possible. • Set yourself up for success. • Don’t push things too much, plan things that you know you can/will do. You can always create a new one in the future.

15. Questions and Comments Please remember that if you don’t wish to talk in front of the group, you can use the chat box at the bottom of your screen to chat to the group or to Kiri personally.

16. Thank you for joining us today! Please join us next month for: Death on Campus: What to do in the Wake of a Tragedy Wednesday, September 10th at 2pm EST