‘Shadow grief: how might music therapy assist bereavement following miscarriage or stillbirth?’

1. ‘Shadow grief: how might music therapy assist bereavement following miscarriage or stillbirth?’ Margaret Broad B.A. MSc

2. With heartfelt thanks to the participants who made this study possible, for their openness in sharing their personal narrativesand for their interest in music therapy. It was a privilege to enter their journey through the valley of the shadow and to learn from them about their role in supporting bereaved parents.

3. Conception

4. ‘There are words to describe all kinds of bereaved people – widow, widowers, orphans – but none for a parent who has lost a child: it’s a fate too terrible for even language to contemplate.’ (Aslam, 2004)

5. Common grief • Stages of grief • numbness • yearning • disorganisation and despair • reorganisation (Bowlby, 2005; Worden, 1991; Parkes, 1996; Kűbler-Ross, 2009) • Manifestations of grief • loss of appetite • sleeplessness • anger especially towards health professionals • guilt, self blame (Penson, 1990) sadness, despair, confusion, low self esteem (Staudacher, 1988)

6. Specific issues • Grief for an unlived life (Miscarriage Association, 2009) • ‘A stillborn is someone who did not exist, a nonperson with no name. It is an empty tragedy and a painful emptiness difficult to talk about...’ (Hockey 1990, pp.40-1)

7. ‘Unable to find legitimate avenues of expression, the need to remember becomes paramount. The mothers believe that if they do not remember, no one else will; the memory of their child must be kept alive at all costs.’ (Peppers and Knapp 1980, p.49)

8. Miscarriage - pregnancy loss < 24 weeks gestation (NHS, 2009) Stillbirth - pregnancy loss > 24 weeks gestation, UK legal age of viability Neonatal death - birth to 28 days (SANDS, 2009)

9. Support Organisations • ARC(ARC, 2009) termination of pregnancy • Babyloss(Babyloss, 2010) October 15 International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day • International Stillbirth Alliance (2009) research to raise awareness of the issues surrounding infant death • Tamba BSG (TAMBA BSG, 2009) loss of a child from a multiple pregnancy • Miscarriage Association (Leroy, 1988) founded by bereaved mothers 1982 • Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS, 2010) reduction of age of viability from 28 to 24 weeks

10. Training for health professionals(Riches and Dawson, 2000; Schott, Henley and Kohner, 2007; Hindmarch, 1993; Scottish Office Department of Health, 1996) SANDS guidelines (Schott, Henley and Kohner, 2007) • empathy • clear communication • good listening skills • sensitivity to individual needs and cultural differences • respect and acknowledgement of parental loss Qualities of music therapist (Bunt and Hoskyns, 2002) • tolerance • sensitivity • empathy • flexibility • ability to listen and communicate intuitively

11. ‘Stillbirths - a forgotten problem’ (The Independent, 14 April 2011) • Global: • 3.2 million stillbirths per annum • 8700 stillbirths per day (The Lancet, 14 April 2011) • UK: • 1/4 pregnancies results in miscarriage (NHS, 2009) • 3.5 stillbirths per 1000 births (ranks 33rd globally) • 17 stillbirth/neonatal deaths per day (Why17, 2010) • > 70% of stillbirths occur in women with no significant medical condition • Stillbirth 10x more common than cot death (The Independent 14 April 2011)

12. Music Therapy • intervention in maternity care (Browning 2000; Allison, 1991 ; Chang and Chen , 2004 ; Kaiming, Shuping and Xiaofen ,1997) • bereavement: • death of spouse(Smeijsters, 1999) • parent (Turry, 2005) • terminally ill child (Lindenfelser, Grocke and McFerran, 2008) • expression of feeling states (O’Callaghan, 1996 ; Hudson Smith, 1991) • reminiscence (Bright, 2007) • grief-related support groups (Krout, 2005) • palliative care (Bright, 2007 ; Aldridge, 2003) • ‘The Tonic’ APMT/BSMT News (Bruce 2009)

13. Gestation

14. Research aims • How might music therapy assist bereaved parents who have experienced loss through miscarriage or stillbirth? • Which musical therapeutic strategies might be appropriate to assist the grief process of this population? • At which stage of the grief process might music therapy be an appropriate intervention?

15. Methodology • phenomenological-orientated approach • Examine life experience • purposive sampling • befrienders recruited from a bereavement support organisation(themselves bereaved mothers) • n=4 • ethical considerations • participant re-traumatisation (counselling sheet) • researcher vulnerability (personal therapy) • semi-structured interviews • video footage (Nordoff-Robbins, 2010 ; Harpkit, 2010) • ‘Every Note Counts’ (Simpson, 2007) • content analysis • categories and sub categories • coded manually • trustworthiness and reflexivity • Peer debriefing • reflexive journal • verification of accuracy

16. Birth

17. Data analysis : categories

18. Key findings • context of the support organisation • nature of the need for support • factors which may inhibit support • how support is currently facilitated within the organisation

19. role of music within current support system • befriender perceptions of the therapeutic value of music in bereavement • befriender receptivity to music therapy • potential strategies for implementing music therapy • stages of grief when music therapy might be an appropriate intervention

20. Organisational context • Open door policy • Befriending • Meetings • Attendees • Patterns of attendance

21. Parental need for support • Need for expression of feeling states • “It’s quite amazing the full spectrum of emotions that can be around at a meeting. But, yes, a lot of tears and a lot of emotional depth and they’re difficult. They’re very draining”. • Need for social inclusion • “ I think they feel supported because a lot of people, up until they come along, feel that it’s just them. They are on their own”. • Need for coping strategies • “I lived for that meeting every month. It was like a pressure cooker building up and then you had your meeting and you got a chance to talk and you know, you sort of simmered down again for another month”. • Intrinsic need for remembrance • “I think at the beginning I was worried I would forget. That was a fear. I think a lot of people have the fear of forgetting. But I know now, that you don’t forget”.

22. Creating memories • memory boxes • scan photographs / photos of the dead baby • scrapbooks • certificates of birth / hospital appointment cards (Schott, Henley and Kohner 2007) • ‘Wave of Light’ services • naming ceremony (Jenkins and Merry 2005) • balloon releases (Babyloss 2010) • web pages to post on-line messages expressing loss • ‘Forget-me-not Meadow’ / ‘Lights of Love Tree’ (Miscarriage Association 2010) • body art / tattoos

23. Facilitation of support • Bereavement lifeline (Scottish Office Department of Health 1996) • Gauging level of support • Befriender supervision and support needs

24. Support inhibitors • Bereaved parents may experience: • dilemma in acknowledging bereavement • fear of losing emotional control • denial of subsequent pregnancy/ unresolved grief in subsequent pregnancy • Gender differences in grieving • Cultural differences in grieving • Lack of social awareness about acknowledgement of bereavement • Family restraints on expression of grief • Lack of understanding by health professionals

25. Music • Activities • Music valued in remembrance service  • Support product CD of remembrance service • Song-writing by bereaved parent • Genre • Music for expression of feeling states • Conscious / unconscious use of music • Background music in support meetings

26. Potential for Music Therapy • Befriender perspective towards music therapy • lack of awareness about availability of music therapy “If there was another channel in which they could have said – ‘Look, there’s some music therapy open to you here’ - I absolutely would have taken it but there wasn’t”. • awareness of music therapy as concept • receptivity to music therapy to assist bereaved parents

27. Befriender suggestions for Music Therapy • as a non-verbal intervention for grief • to facilitate communication • to match intensity of grief • for empathic attunement • to interact with current support services • for referral by health professionals to music therapy • introductory DVD about music therapy for bereaved parents • introductory music therapy sessions for bereaved parents • group / individual sessions • to facilitate expression of feeling states • drumming as outlet for anger • for support at different stages of grief

28. Feeling States

29. Future development

30. Future development • consider : • the effects of specific music therapeutic strategies on the mourning process of this population • their un/conscious mourning processes • support : • gender differences in grieving • grandparents’ grief • bereaved mothers with PTSD (Hughes and Cockburn 2007) • supervision and support needs of befrienders • collaborative working with health professionals to assist bereaved parents • policy changes to include music therapy

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