The Forgotten Ones: Families of our Military Heroes

1. The Forgotten Ones: Families of our Military Heroes Laurie A. Reid, LMFT, CAP Breaking the Cycle Consulting, Inc. breakingthecycle@contractor.net This product is supported by Florida Department of Children and Families Substance Abuse and Mental Health Program Office funding.

2. Objectives and Goals • Explain the top 5 reported concerns military families face and their contributing factors. • Identify phases of the deployment cycle and the psychological risks to family relationships within each phase. • Participants will learn from firsthand stories the impact of deployment and the psychological stresses that poses risks to family relationships.

3. Families of our Military Heroes: Who are they and What are their concerns?

4. 2013 Military Families Top 5 Concerns • Put of the 5 top concerns, 3 focused on Financial Well-Being: • Pay/Benefits (35%) • 2. Changes to Retirement Benefits (21%) • Spouse Employment Opportunities (19%) Thanks to the Blue Star Families 2013 Military Family Lifestyle Survey http://www.bluestarfam.org/Policy/Surveys/Survey_2013

5. 2013 Military Families Top 5 Concerns • Relating to separating from the military; economy, employment possibilities, job creation and loss of income rated as top concerns regardless of time in service. Within the next 5 years, 1 million service members are transitioning out. • Regarding spousal employment, 61% of respondents were not currently employed but 52% wanted to be employed. • 80% of spouses mentioned poor local job market alignment and 53% indicated that finding and paying for childcare were contributing factors for not working. Stationed oversees most spouses cannot work due to federal agreements with that country. • 23% of spouses faced challenges with state licensing, certification or other professional qualifications due to military-oriented moves. Thanks to the Blue Star Families 2013 Military Family Lifestyle Survey http://www.bluestarfam.org/Policy/Surveys/Survey_2013

6. 2013 Military Families Top 5 Concerns • Out of 5 top concerns 2 surrounded Family Well-Being (specially focusing on the Military Child) • Effects of deployment on military child emotional well-being and development (17%) • 5. Academics (16%) Thanks to the Blue Star Families 2013 Military Family Lifestyle Survey http://www.bluestarfam.org/Policy/Surveys/Survey_2013

7. 2013 Military Families Top 5 Concerns • Although previous research suggest military children are resilient and adapt well to military lifestyle; however, exposed to life events that can put them at risk for psychological and academic concerns • Varied of ways children display psychological effects with Anxiety being the predominant response to how the military child has been effected by deployments, 68% separation anxiety, 63% consistent worry • Psychological effects on school-aged children reported 48% irritability, 45% sleeplessness/nightmares, 38 % distractibility/concentrating, 31% signs of depression and 36% aggressive reactions • 38% felt schools were not aware of military life culture and 39% felt schools were not responsive or proactive to the unique military child situation Thanks to the Blue Star Families 2013 Military Family Lifestyle Survey http://www.bluestarfam.org/Policy/Surveys/Survey_2013

9. Deployment Cycle Phases • Pre-Deployment Phase: (6-8 weeks prior to deployment) • Deployment Phase: (during deployment) • Reunion Phase: (1-6 weeks prior to return home) • Post Deployment Phase: (1-6 weeks post reunion) Thanks to www.military.com and www.army.mil for information on deployment phases

10. Pre-Deployment Phase: Mission Ready • Psychological Risks: • Feelings vary and include fear, anger, denial, resentment, excitement and guilt. • Calm Before the Storm-Increase Anxiety • We Have Time-Denial • How will I handle being alone?-Fear • Battlefield Mind-Numbness and Pulling Away to Protect • Within this stage emotions can vary between ‘I’ll never let you go’ to ‘I hate you for doing this to me’.

11. Deployment Phase: Mission Deploy • Psychological Risks: • Feelings range from relief to abandonment. • Single Parent Syndrome-Resentment-Relief-HELP! • Super Hero-’I Can Do It All’ • OCD Behaviors • Social Media Woes • School Performance and Acting Out Behaviors • Skeletons in the Closet • Reactions fluctuate from “I’m fine” to “I’m losing it!”

12. Post-Deployment Phase: Mission Complete • Psychological Risks: • Feelings of apprehension, elations, joy, and disappointment. • Welcome Party • I Don’t Know What to Expect • I forgot to do _____! • Re-distribution of Roles • Return of Sexual Intimacy • Most often this is the phase most families will reach out for counseling.

13. Re-deployment Phase: Mission Impossible • Psychological Risks: • Feelings of intense anger, resentment and fear emerge along with all the other feelings from the first deployment return • Here we go again!-Ugh • ‘This Time My Spouse Will Not Return Home’ • No more! • Reactions range from feelings of intense anger and resentment “How could you do this to us again” to emotional numbness “I’m use to this”.

15. Narrative Stories Thank you for your sacrifices and service to our country.

16. PRIZES!

17. Thank you! Laurie A. Reid, LMFT, CAP Breaking the Cycle Consulting, Inc. breakingthecycle@contractor.net This product is supported by Florida Department of Children and Families Substance Abuse and Mental Health Program Office funding.