Schneider and the American Family

1. Schneider and the American Family

2. The Symbols of American Kinship • Unconscious, underlying metaphors for how we think about the world • What is a relative? • What is a family? • How does a person become a relative?

3. Kinds of American Relatives • Basic terms • Father (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand) • Mother (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand) • Sister (Step-, -In-law, Half-) • Brother (Step-, -In-law, Half-) • Son (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-) • Daughter (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-) • Uncle (Great-) • Aunt (Great-) • Nephew • Niece • Cousin (First-, Second-, Once removed, etc.) • Husband (Ex-) • Wife (Ex-) • Derivative term modifiers • Step • In-law • Great • Grand • First • Second • Once • Twice • Removed • Half- • Ex- • Foster

4. Categories of American Relatives • By Blood • “Biogenic” • The essence/biological material of the body is shared by relatives • Genes are shared by relatives • Kinship as possession of a common substance • Mother as genetrix • Father as genitor • Mother and father contribute equally to the child’s substance • Biogenic means “natural” rather than cultural • “Real” “Blood” “True” “By Birth” • Enduring and unbreakable ties • Involuntary • By Code of Conduct • By custom, cultural rule or law • Marriage as a culturally determined phenomenon • Fictive kin • Not natural, but man-made relationships • Come about by choice and free will

5. Blood Vs Marriage (con’t) • In nature (no cultural code of conduct • Natural child (son or daughter) • Illegitimate child (son or daughter) • Natural mother • Natural Father • In law (cultural code, no nature) • Husband • Wife • In-laws (father, mother, sister, brother, etc.) • Step- (mother, father, sister, brother) • Foster (son, daughter • By Blood within cultural conventions • Father • Mother • Brother • Sister • Son • Daughter • Uncle, aunt • Niece, nephew • Grandparents • Great grand parents • Grandchildren, Great grandchildren • Cousin, first cousin, etc.

6. The Family as Set of Relatives Conjugal Family or Family of Procreation • Nuclear Family in the U.S. • Derived from the joining of two non-relatives by cultural convention through marriage. • Sexual intercourse is what allows these two “naturally unrelated” individuals to contribute to the creation of a new person who is related by possession of essential bodily materials to both parents. • Without sexual intercourse, new blood relatives cannot be produced. • Marriage is a cultural convention that is designed to make non-relatives become relatives to one another The “Natural” Nuclear Family in American Society Mother Father Son Daughter Living together in a single unit/household

7. Sexual Intercourse as Symbol • Marriage requires sexual intercourse as one of the duties of the husband and wife. (Is a marriage without sex a real marriage?) • Marriage and Sexual Intercourse both unite “natural” opposites in many other ways • “Natural act (occurs throughout nature) that happens in culturally appropriate ways (where, when and with whom) as an act of free will. • Sex: Fitting genitalia together • Gender: Maleness united with femaleness • Creating blood ties out of code of conduct ties • Dividing activities and behaviors into distinctive opposing and complementary roles (code of conduct roles) • Combines physical (intercourse) with spiritual (love) • Produces cognatic/non-sexual love relationships out of conjugal/sexual love relationships.

8. Marriage and Sexual IntercourseUniting Opposite Genders • How do we tell male from female? • Facial hair • Breasts • Temperament • Physical strength • Mechanical aptitude • Nurturing qualities • Aggression • Passivity • Genitalia We are uncomfortable with same sex marriage precisely because we see the uniting of opposites through intercourse as an inherent part of “family.”

9. American Marriage:Unification of Sexual Intercourse and Love • Intercourse alone is not sufficient to form a family. • Love without sex is not sufficient to form a family. • Marriage presupposes that both are present.

10. Definitions of Love • Schneider • Love is “enduring, diffuse solidarity” • Enduring = long lasting • Diffuse = pertains to a wide variety of things • Solidarity = loyalty and group affiliation - support network • Personal • Spiritual • Is a natural part of family • An intense sexual or romantic attachment to another person. • What is attachment? Strong feelings of loyalty, affection toward someone or something. A bond with someone or something. • What does attach mean? To fasten or bind something to something else. • An intense feeling of deep affection • What is affection? A feeling of liking or caring for someone or something.

11. Schneider’s Types of Love • Conjugal love (sexual love) • Cognatic love (non-sexual love)

12. Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick) • Logical love (pragma) • “I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.” • Possessive, excited love (mania) • “When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.” • Selfless love (agape) • “My lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my own.” • Romantic love (eros) • “My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.” • Game-playing love (ludus) • “I get over love affairs pretty easily.” • Friendship (storge, philia) • “The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”

13. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love • Three main components of loving relationships • Intimacy • Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness • Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other • Desire to give and receive emotional support • Passion • Intense romantic and/or sexual desire for another person, which is accompanied by physiological arousal • Commitment • Commitment to maintain the relationship despite potential hardships

14. Sternberg’s Types of Love • Nonlove • All components of love are absent. • Liking • Intimacy is present. • Passion and commitment are absent. • Infatuation • “Love at first sight” • Passion is present. • Intimacy and commitment are absent.

15. Sternberg’s Triangular Model of Love Liking Intimacy I+C Companionate Love I+P Romantic Love I+P+C Consummate Love Passion Commitment P+C Fatuous Love Empty Love Infatuation

16. Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t • Empty love • Commitment is present. • Passion and intimacy are absent. • Romantic love • Passion and intimacy are present. • Commitment is absent. • Companionate love • Intimacy and commitment are present. • Passion is absent.

17. Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t • Fatuous love • Passion and commitment are present. • Intimacy is absent. • Consummate love • Full or complete measure of love • Combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment • An ideal type of love • Harder to maintain than to achieve

18. Family as a Group of Persons • Abstract notion of a person Vs. the concrete manifestion of a person • Personal attributes as criteria for “relativeness” • Person as a unit of American Culture • People have attributes • Gender • Age • Class (status and/or wealth, ie. The “famous relative”) • Occupation • Religiosity • Political attitudes • Kin term that evokes a particular type of kinship role/behavior set.

19. Choosing Our Relatives • Who MAY be included, but in the U.S. not who MUST be included. • A person MAY be included as a relative, but that does not mean that he/she will have a kin term assigned to him/her • Attributes • Distance • Physical proximity • Social proximity • Genealogical proximity

20. Everyday Use of Kin Terms • Kin terms as signals for particular kinds of relationship and role expectations. • Formal Vs. Informal/Intimate • Symmetrical (same status) Vs. Asymmetrical (different statuses) • Authority/Respect • Generation

21. The Resolution of Oppositions • Kinship acts to resolve oppositions: • Male Vs. Female • Humans Vs. Nature • Human Vs. animal distinguished by the use of reason • Nature Vs. Culture • Law uses reason to take the best of nature and encode it to maintain the good. • Proper kinds of sexual union • Proper kinds of parent-child relationships

22. American Kinship & American Values • Relatives In nature (no cultural code of conduct) • Natural child, Illegitimate child, Natural mother, Natural Father, Natural Grandparent, Etc. • Relatives In law (cultural code, no nature) • Husband, Wife, In-laws (father, mother, sister, brother, etc.), Step- (mother, father, sister, brother), Foster (son, daughter • Relatives By Blood within cultural conventions • Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Son, Daughter, Uncle, Aunt, Niece, Nephew, Grandparents, Etc. • Nature Only • Culture Only • Nature Tempered by Human Reason Extracts the Best of Nature in the Form of Human Culture

23. Conclusion