The “Early Years Opportunity” Relationship and Serve and Return Interactions

1. 1 The “Early Years Opportunity” Relationship and Serve and Return Interactions

2. Hosting Notes Early Years Parent Café Goal: To build awareness and capacity of parents and caregivers in support of early childhood development through: • strengthened awareness of “the core story” and the early years opportunities. • fostering relationships, connections and mutual support by bringing people together in dialogue. • validating the current knowledge and capacity of parents and caregivers by creating a space for sharing of successes and challenges. • highlighting and sharing available resources and supports. • learning together to support capacity building that inspires further learning and action.

3. 2 The “Early Years Opportunity” Relationship and Serve and Return Interactions Conversation Overview What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your child in 20 years? How does your relationship with your child support their development? How does technology impact relationships and interaction between caregivers and children? What makes “serve and return” interactions so critical? What do think was the most important thing that you did for your child today? Education for Communities, Communities for Education

4. Hosting Notes Are there are other questions about early years development parents would like to discuss? Suggestion: • Use a flipchart/blackboard/newsprint on table/ to record these questions and revisit them at the end of the session. • Invite parents to offer questions throughout the conversation. Explore: Start the conversation by asking parents/caregivers to share something about their child(ren), or share something their child has most recently learned.

5. 3 For you, what was most important about our last conversation? Explore: Have you done anything differently since then?

6. Hosting Notes Parents sharing impressions from the last conversation… Suggestions: • What made the biggest impression? What sparked you to try something new? Did you have the chance to share this information with others? • Collecting the ideas that parents felt were most important as well as ways that they have integrated ideas and responded can spark further discussion and exchange. • Recording these ideas can be helpful for further reflection and is very important for monitoring the impact of the conversations. • Depending on participation – you may wish to review the key messages from the core story of brain development.

7. 4 What kind of relationship do you hope to have with your child in 20 years? Explore: How can you support and build this key relationship? From the time you get up, what can you be doing?

8. Hosting Notes All parents want healthy and strong relationships with their child… Some examples: • I want an open and loving relationship with my child • I want my child to be able to come to me when they have problems • I want a relationship of support and mutual respect. • Others… Parents support and build healthy relationship with their child through… • Consistent, nurturing caregiving • Taking time to give full attention, share in their interests • Understanding and communication: really listening,“talking to versus talking at” (study shows parent average of 7 minutes of week in real conversation with rather than directional language). - source: Staying Connected • Spending time sharing a favorite activity (reading, singing, playing) • Having fun together. “In real estate it is ‘Location, location, location’; in child development it is ‘Relationship, relationship, relationship!’” Suggestion: Share and discuss Winning ways to talk to young people. -Washington State Department of Health and Social Issues.

9. 5 How does your relationship with your child support their development? Explore: Some people refer to relationships as the “active ingredient” for early childhood development!

10. Hosting Notes Relationships are key to healthy development because… • Attachment, the emotional bond between a child and parents begins before birth and plays an important role in brain development. • During sensitive periods of brain development, healthy attachments are especially important. Relationships actually shape the architecture of the brain! • Secure attachment impacts self confidence and independence, and lowers stress reactions. • They will influence other relationships throughout life! • A loving, consistent caregiver can buffer a child from the negative impacts of stress. • “A positive, nurturing relationship with a caregiver is one of the most important ways to promote and support the healthy social, emotional, and cognitive development of a young child!” • “Think of it as brain food”

11. 6 Explore together a short video from the Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University:Serve and Return Interaction Shapes Brain Architecture Explore: What are your reactions? What strikes you the most?

12. Hosting Notes Reactions to “Serve and Return Interactions Shape Brain Architecture… Examples: • “I’m surprised that simple exchanges are so important.” • “I thought we were just playing.” • Others?

13. 7 “Serve and return” interactions between a child and caregiver are essential for building a healthy brain.What makes them so critical and unique? Explore: When did you and your child “serve and return” today? What did this look like?

14. Hosting Notes Responsive, ongoing, “serve and return” interactions are critical and unique because they… • Are part of an ongoing caregiver – child relationship. • Are responsive to child reaching out. • Are responsive to the individual child and their developmental needs in the moment. • Build on child’s unique interests and capabilities. • Shape the child’s self-awareness and sense of who they are in the world • Buffer from stress response. • Are an essential prerequisite for the development of healthy brain circuits and more complex skills! • Are a key ingredient in forming relationships between young children, their parents and other caregivers, promoting healthy social, emotional, and cognitive development. “When we respond appropriately, the child learns to form secure attachments, explore her world, control emotions and care about other people. At the same time, we learn about our children by watching how they respond to new experiences, new people and new places.” -Alberta Government Chief Medical Report “Let’s talk about the Early Years”

15. 8 Technology is everywhere.How does technology impact relationships and interaction between caregivers and children? Explore: What do you think about technology use for young children?How do you and your family use technology? Canadian Pediatric recommendations for technology use.

16. Hosting Notes Technology and media in the early childhood years… While screen time can be fun and entertaining for short periods, it can take time away from interacting with your child and building relationship. We know interactions with caregivers build brains, while there is not evidence that technology can do the same. Remember to make room for active play and exploration and serve and return! What do you think about “screen time” for children? Canadian Pediatric Society recommendations: For children under 2 years, screen time is not recommended. For children 2-4 years, screen time should be limited to less than one hour per day; less is better. When using media: • Share the experience with your child • Ensure it is developmentally appropriate • Use media for entertainment “wisely” – this should include making a plan and setting limits.

17. 9 Reflecting on what we have discussed today…What do think was the most important thing that you did for your child today?

18. Hosting Notes Parents’ reflections on what was most important in their day… Examples: • Sang together while making breakfast. • Played “peak-a-boo” while changing their diaper. • Stayed for a few minutes to calm my child when they arrived at child care. • Took a deep breath before responding when I felt frustrated. • Others?

19. 10 After our discussion today, would you like to set a goal or try something new? Explore: What would you like to share with another parent or caregiver?

20. Hosting Notes Great ideas from parents: Examples: • I will limit my child’s screentime. • Check out the Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child. • I will think more about my relationship with my child – and practice serve and return. • Share the video with my family and childcare provider. • Others? Reminder: provide any follow up information requested… Read more: Check the accompanying Resources for recommendations!