Mediation & Domestic Violence

1. Mediation & Domestic Violence Kristine Paranica, Executive Director, Conflict Resolution Center, University of North Dakota Certified Transformative Mediator™ Fellow of the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation

2. The Mediation Process Mediation is: • UNIQUE: Provides parties a unique opportunity to manage and resolve conflict through dialogue • CLIENT CENTERED: A process where the client’s goals drive the discussion and override the mediator’s desire for settlement • DECISION-FOCUSED: Used by anyone who faces conflict and needs to make decisions. It can be therapeutic but must not be therapy nor the practice of law (most advice is ethically prohibited) What Sets Mediation Apart and Makes it Unique – 3 Keys: • Self-Determination • Impartiality • Confidentiality

3. Self - Determination Capacity to make decisions that are: • Voluntary • Uncoerced • Freely made • In consideration of client capacity • Safe for all Avoiding: • Undue Influence • Coercion • Threats against the • Person • Property • Dependents • Pets

4. Definition of Domestic Violence • Non-reciprocal • Cyclical: • Starts with a build up of tension, • Leads to a violent incident • Follows by a period of calm and remorse • Repeats at greater frequency and severity • Is ultimately lethal if the cycle is unbroken (Lenore Walker)

5. How Violence Prevents the Exercise of Self-Determination: Batterer Intent: to control and dominate a person • Uses abusive tactics to intimidate or threaten a victim into compliance. • Based upon sense of entitlement by batterer • Often “triggered” by victim’s attempts to assert independence or disagree with perpetrator. • Violence escalates in severity and frequency. • When is likelihood of violence greatest?

6. Batterer Characteristics • Superior in charge / Head of household • Objectify the person / Name calling • Selfish - their gain is someone else’s loss • Little or no consequence for their actions • Refuse to take responsibility for behavior • Jealous & possessiveness • Public vs. private behavior • Manipulative – of partner AND of system

7. Physical VIOLENCE Sexual USING COERCION AND THREATS USING INTIMIDATION USING ECONOMIC ABUSE USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE Power And Control USING PRIVILEGE USING ISOLATION Physical VIOLENCE Sexual MINIMIZING, DENYING AND BLAMING USING CHILDREN National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence www.ncdsv.org Developed by: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project Duluth, MN, 218-722-4134

8. Causes and Misconceptions of Domestic Violence: • Intimate Partner Violence is a CHOICE! It is learned through observation (family, friends, school, media, etc.), it is learned in culture and society, it is learned through experience and reinforcement. • Domestic violence is NOT caused by • Alcohol or drugs • The relationship or the victim • Anger or stress • The batterer being out of control

9. Issues of Safety Can we make it safe? Who has expertise? Safety Strategies: Pre-Mediation Mediation Post-Mediation Services Referrals *Separate rooms do NOT = Safety

10. Screening Tools Strategies for Identifying Intimate Partner Violence

11. What is the Context? Broad Considerations for Mediators: • INTENT in offender’s use of violence • MEANING of the violence to the victim • EFFECT of acts on the victim • How this incident fits with PREVIOUS PATTERNS of behavior

12. How does screening work in Mediation? • Before: • Initial Phone Call • Ask if they have any concerns • Check to see if they have advocates, etc. • Pre-Mediation Intake or Orientation • Separate Meetings with both parties • Face to Face • Different dates/times • Open questions • Screening tool if appropriate

13. Areas to Inquire: Control, Coercion, Intimidation, Fear How are/were decisions made in your marriage/relationship? What happens when you speak your mind and express your point of view to the other party; when you and the other party fight and/or are angry at each other? Talk about the worst fight you have ever had. What did it look like? What was said? What happened?Talk about the most recent fight you have had. What did it look like? What was said? What happened? Has the other party ever prevented you (or tried to prevent you) from having contact with family or friends, or your children? Has the other party ever denied you access to money for food, shelter, clothing, medical needs? Has the other party ever threatened to hurt or kill you or him/herself? Do you have any concerns about sitting in the same room mediating with the other party?Would they remain if you had an advocate with you?

14. Lethality Questions • Risk Questions: • Do you think he/she will seriously injure or kill you or your children? What makes you think so? What makes you think not? • How frequently and seriously does he/she intimidate, threaten, or assault you? • Describe the most recent event. • Describe the most frightening event/worse incidence of violence. • Weapons in the house? Pets injured?

15. MAKING A DECISION ABOUT WHETHEROR NOT TO MEDIATE… • Party is in Immediate Danger • No Apparent Immediate Danger, but the Abused Party Disclosed Violence by or Fear of the Other Party • Non-Violent, but Abusive/Controlling • Protection Order/Restraining Order In Effect

16. Safety Planning Screening is an ongoing process (before, during, and sometimes after mediation) • What feels safe to a person in mediation? • Signals between client and mediator in the event client sees indicators of violence • Exit planning: before, during, after Mediation • Identify who to call and where to go for help; Support availability (family, friends, advocate) • What safety plans have worked in the past? • Mandatory Reporting & Confidentiality

17. Services • 24-Hour Crisis Line • National Hot Line: 1-800-799-SAFE • Shelter / Violence Intervention Centers • Protection Order / Disorderly Conduct Restraining Order • Crisis Counseling • Individual and Group Counseling • Advocacy and Referrals • Safety Planning

18. Questions? 2012 ND Law Review Domestic Violence & Sexual AssaUlt Symposium