Agenda

1. Agenda • Self-edit first draft of song essay • If you don’t have it then be quiet and work on it. • Write a paragraph • You will keep daily points for being focused and respectful. • Hand back and go over test

2. Objective case: object of sentenceMe, her, him, them, usNominative/Subjective pronouns I, he, she, they, we • Was Sara or she/her cast in the show? • she: subjective case • Sara can sing better than I/me. • I: subjective case • To whom/who is the letter addressed? • whom: objective case (the letter was addressed to him) • Ali and me/I stayed home. • I: subjective case

3. Format 1 double spaced? 2. 12 pt font? 3 paragraphs indented? 4. Title? (think of one that works for essay) 5. Name and hour

4. First line and intro • Does it hook reader? • Is it a personal statement? • How to make it stronger? • Use one of the three ways to write an intro that we studied in class • Rhetorical, annecdotal, using a quote • Connect to theme of song • I never thought I would recover from a broken heart • As a senior in high school, I’m ready to start a new chapter • I didn’t understand the power of forgiveness until I was forgiven. • I doubt that I’m the only kid who ever felt truly alone.

5. Write a new line above the old one • Why? • Just see what happens. Might be a better way into the material

6. Leading us through the intro • Now… how do you transition to the song? • The song “I Wish I had a River” by Joni Mitchell also speaks about the sense of alienation the speaker has while everyone around her seems happy. • Is song in italics or quotation marks? • Have you given the name of the artist?

7. Last line in intro • The song, “I Wish I had a River” addresses the themes of alienation and loneliness that were(are) present in my life.

8. Second paragraph • Read the paragraph and look for places where you can elaborate. • Why is this song important? • How did it help you? • Is there a specific line that spoke to you? • How did it Inspire you? • How did it help you heal? • Why is the issue important to you? Tell an anecdote • Do you remember the first time you heard it? • Where were you? Did a friend share the song with you? • How often would you listen to it? How did it make you feel?

9. 2nd paragraph • Do you have any background on the singer? • Try research and see what you can discover about the origins of the song.

10. 1. Embed it naturally into the sentence: Tupac’s belief that “We gotta make a change” is the main theme of the song. 2. Introduce with states, or sings, Also, in the last verse he complains about how people have not begun to make changes when he sings, “And still I see no changes, can’t a brother get a little peace?” 3. Use : when presenting a quote as support or evidence. Tupac would like to return to the innocence of his childhood: I’d love to go back to when we played as kids/but things changed, and tha’ts the way it is.”

11. 3rd paragraph analysis • Topic sentence to introduce theme of song? • Do you have at least two lines that your reference? • Check to see if you incorporated them correctly • The line, “ ______” relates to the theme of____ • Or The line, “ ______” reminds me of ____.

12. Incorporating quotes • After you have introduced the line, make sure you comment on why it is important.

13. 3rd para. continued Look at the lyrics again. Is there an image that expresses the way you feel when you hear the song? Are there any metaphors, similes or other aspects that work symbolically? What else can you say about the image? How does it support theme?

14. 4th paragraph • Have you summarized the main points? • Why you chose it? • dominant theme? • What you want us to learn from your choice • Or how we can benefit from it?

15. Writing • Circle any gots and replace with stronger verbs. • Read again and look for: any “is when” ‘is how” or “the reason I chose this is because” cut and revise into active voice • Find a stronger way to say it. • Look for variety in sentences. Follow a long sentence with a short one.

16. Beginning of sentences • Cut any of the following words: • Well, • So, • Anyways (not a word by the way)

17. What do you need to work on? • We are in the lab on Friday. Essays are due then. • Need song, essay and rubric.

18. Practice quiz subject verb • 1. A The professor was traveling in Europe when she received notice of her promotion. • Professor is a singular noun. The verb “were traveling” should be in the singular: was

19. #2 The professor voted teacher of the year by the students were traveling in Europe when she recived notice of her promotion G. The professor voted teacher of the Year by the students was traveling in Euprope when she received notice of her promotion. subject of the sentence is professor. Singular subject takes singular verb: was

20. 3 • Most teachers, unless they have an appointment to a prestigious university, earn relatively …. • Subject is teachers • Plural subject takes plural form of verb

21. 4 • Many nutritionists now believe that a balanced diet and not large doses of vitamins Is the best guarantee of health. • Subject of sentence is diet. And might confuse you into thinking it is a compound sentence. But it is not.

22. 5 • Television comedies in which there is at least one really detestable character capture the interest of the viewers.

23. 6 • The opposition to smoking in public places is prompting many state legislatures to consider….

24. 7 • Diplomats sent to an unstable region or a genuniely hostile territory usually are assigned….

25. What else to add? Include or invite the reader in to your song: Everyone has felt alone, isolated in a crowd of busy people. Can you relate it to Ishmael or a theme from LWG? Although the water never freezes in Sierra Leone, there were times during the war when Ishmael probably wished he could “skate upon a river so long,/ [he] could teach [his] feet to fly.”

26. Connecting to book or Ishmael • Have you connected to a theme? • If not: to a similar situation or emotional event? • Revenge, love, loss, growth, understanding that the world is no longer safe, • Describe the situation in the novel, give quote if possible