The Rules of Effective Writing

2. The Rules of Effective Writing • Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print. • Never use a long word when a short one will do. • If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. • Never use the passive when you can use the active. • Never use a foreign phrase or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. • Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous. - George Orwell

3. A Bad Email My dear Malcolm, I was informed earlier today by your colleague Jane Rodber that your company is now ready to consider our proposal. It goes without saying I am delighted to hear this news. However, I will be on vacation in Prague for the next four days and so, regrettably, I will not be able to attend personally to any queries you may have. Notwithstanding the above, you will be telephoned by my secretary to arrange a little rendez vous after my return when I hope this matter can be discussed further. Yours sincerely, Robert Jones

4. Jargon “OK, guys, we’ve been dialoguing long enough. We need to solutionize here. Are we all in agreeance on that?”

5. Jargon

6. Unnecessary jargon “OK, guys, we’ve been dialoguing long enough. We need to solutionize here. Are we all in agreeance on that?”

7. Unnecessary new words • Dialoguing (talking) • Solutionize (solve, to find a solution) • Agreeance (agreement)

8. Business jargon can… …conceal meaning (or the lack of it!)

9. Jargon can… …conceal meaning (or the lack of it!) … communicate new ideas and technologies with precision

10. Cars & language change car 1896 chauffeur 1900? limousine 1902 spark plug 1908 car crash 1915 speeding ticket 1930 double parking 1931

11. The thrifty old man saved all his money for his retirement. • The stingy old man saved all his money for his retirement.

12. Advertising salmon Lough Muir salmon, smoked over oak chippings and dressed in a mustard vinaigrette on a fresh bed of Nicoise salad. This is not just summer food, this is M & S summer food.

13. Hypernym A word that is more generic or inclusive than it needs to be

14. Beauty bar Home entertainment system Personal organizer Food processor Soap TV Diary Food mixer Advertising hypernyms

15. Metonym A word that substitutes a part for the whole

16. Bums on seats Suit Fare Sparks The audience Businessman Taxi passenger Electrician Derogatory metonyms

17. Metaphor Carrying across Describing one thing in terms of another

18. How many metaphors can you find? The web is a great place for business if you have the buccaneer spirit.

19. How many metaphors can you find? The web is a greatplace for business if you have the buccaneerspirit. The spider’s net is a large physical location for the state of being busy if you have the pirate’s breath.

20. How many metaphors can you find? The web is a greatplace for business if you have the buccaneerspirit. The spider’s net is a large physical location for the state of being busy if you have the pirate’s breath.

21. How many metaphors? Jack discovered that his employers were not amused by his sarcastic emails when they decided to make him redundant.

22. Jack discovered that his employers were not amused by his sarcastic emails when they decided to make him redundant. remove the cover those who fold cause to think about

23. Jack discovered that his employers were not amused by his sarcastic emails when they decided to make him redundant. flesh-tearing amber travelling bags

24. Jack discovered that his employers were not amused by his sarcastic emails when they decided to make him redundant. cut off knead overflowing

25. Jack discovered that his employers were not amused by his sarcastic emails when they decided to make him redundant. Jack removed the cover that those who folded him were not caused to think by his flesh-tearing amber travelling bags when they cut off to knead him overflowing.

26. Business metaphors There’s a lot of low-hanging fruit in this market. There are a lot of obvious opportunities.

27. Business metaphors We’re putting socks on the octopus. We’re attempting something much too complicated.

28. Business metaphors We’re going to take a soup to nuts approach. We’re going to handle the whole job from beginning to end.

29. Business metaphors Give this a legal scrub. Check there are no legal problems.

30. Business metaphors Let’s be belt and braces here. Let’s be cautious.

31. Say it metaphorically… • We believe we will be very successful in the coming year. • It was a very disappointing holiday. • They are lazy, incompetent and don’t accept criticism. • She is someone who is very interested in detail. • This task is much too easy.

32. Register

33. The reconciliation, though it was embittered by resentment and jealousy by the remembrance of recent injuries and the apprehension of future dangers maintained, however, the tranquility of the Roman world. After a while Jackson drove the car down the ditch and willow lined road with the car’s big headlights on, looking for a place to turn. He found one, finally, and turned, carefully. Register

34. The reconciliation, though it was embittered by resentment and jealousy by the remembrance of recent injuries and the apprehension of future dangers maintained, however, the tranquility of the Roman world. After a while Jackson drove the car down the ditch and willow lined road with the car’s big headlights on, looking for a place to turn. He found one, finally, and turned, carefully. Gibbon Hemingway

35. The reconciliation, though it was embittered by resentment and jealousy by the remembrance of recent injuries and the apprehension of future dangers maintained, however, the tranquility of the Roman world. After a while Jackson drove the car down the ditch and willow lined road with the car’s big headlights on, looking for a place to turn. He found one, finally, and turned, carefully. Anglo-Saxon Origin

36. The reconciliation, though it was embittered by resentment and jealousy by the remembrance of recent injuries and the apprehension of future dangers, maintained, however, the tranquility of the Roman world. After a while Jackson drove the cardown the ditch and willow linedroad with the car’s big headlights on, looking for a place to turn. He found one, finally, and turned, carefully. French Origin

37. The reconciliation, though it was embittered by resentment and jealousy by the remembrance of recent injuries and the apprehension of future dangers, maintained, however, the tranquility of the Roman world. After a while Jackson drove the cardown the ditch and willow linedroad with the car’s big headlights on, looking for a place to turn. He found one, finally, and turned, carefully. Fr 11 v AS 2 Fr 5 v AS 12

38. Register You appear to be suffering from acute inflammation of the patella. You’ve got a dodgy knee.

39. Register An exquisite beverage comprised of delicately carbonated citrus fruit A yummy fizzy orange drink

40. Register a difference… • I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your culinary endeavours this morning. • Which of you idiots is blocking my driveway with their Mercedes? • On reviewing your record of sub-optimal performance, we have decided to recalibrate your position in line with our current delayering initiative. • Sorry to hear your Auntie Flo kicked the bucket. • I am under no obligation to explain my decision and so further discussion will prove futile.

41. NLP. Sight, sound or feeling? I’m not sure we see eye to eye. I'll be in touch I get the picture. I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength. It's as solid as a rock. I've got a handle on it. It's beyond a shadow of a doubt. Hope to hear from you.

42. Reasoning by analogy • Knee is to leg as ……… is to arm. • Car is to road as ship is to ……… • Tree is to forest as …….. is to business. • Teacher is to school as …….. is to aeroplane. • Book is to student as ………. is to zoo.

43. Persuasion by analogy • What need does it meet? -> analogy • What benefit does it offer? -> analogy