Schenectady Stand Up Guys Welcomes You!

1. Schenectady Stand Up Guys Welcomes You!

2. You will understand in a few moments! Why Did We Organize Stand Up Guys?

3. Schenectady Stand Up Guys Advisory Board • Ed Guider • Carole Fox • Wendi Gapcznski • Mark Chaffin • Jeff Gaul www.schenectadystandupguys.org eMail: info@schenectadystandupguys.org

4. Hank Shaw - 2000

5. The Mission “To raise awareness about men’s violence against women and girls and to promote gender equality in our community.”

6. The Vision Envisioning a world with liberty, justice, safety and equality for all!

7. “What is men’s violence against women?” Violence against women includes: • Domestic violence • Rape or sexual assault • Sexual harassment • Stalking • Gender discrimination • And other behavior that demeans or devalues women and girls in our society.

8. Jackson Katz challenges: “Isn’t it about time we had a national conversation about the male causes of this violence, instead of lingering on its consequences in the lives if women?”

9. Ideals of Stand Up Guys “It takes courage to stand up and speak, Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen”. Winston Churchill

10. Courage to Sit, Listen & Learn from Women • To recognize the fact that men most frequently hear about violence against women from women, not men. • Listen to the Voices of Victims & Survivors • To learn all we can about violence against women and what can be done to prevent it.

11. As Men, we know victims…

12. Father’s Day Poll 2007 Peter D. Hart Research Associates, Inc. • More than half (56%) of men think that it is very or fairly likely that, at some point in their lives, a woman or girl they know will be a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault; only 15% think it is not at all likely. • The majority (56%) of men have had reason to believe that a member of their immediate or extended family, a close friend, or an acquaintance has been in a domestic violence or sexual assault situation.

13. Domestic Violence • More women are injured by their partners than by rape, auto accidents and muggings combined! • The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that intimate partners -- husbands, ex-husbands, and current and former boyfriends -- commit violent crimes against approximately 937,000 women every year. • 1 in 4 women (greater than 25%) have been victims of violence perpetrated by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

14. Men, Women, and Homicide • One-third of all female homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner, compared to 3-4% of male homicide victims. (BJS, Family Violence, 2005) • Males were 83% of spouse murderers and 75% of murderers who killed a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Ibid.) • The largest percentage of spousal murders are committed by white males: 69%, compared to 26% black, and 5% others. (Ibid.)

15. “Power, Control & Oppression” Focus of this perspective is based on social hierarchy defined by sex, race, culture, sexual orientation, etc.

16. Trauma • Violence against women has longterm consequences resulting in trauma and ongoing pain, anger, fear and frustration that continues throughout one’s lifetime;

17. Victim Blaming • In cases of Domestic Violence, we need to understand that “change” can be very difficult and complicated and to never blame a victim for staying in a relationship. The victim is Never responsible for her own victimization. • Despite stigma & shame, victims of rape or sexual assault are never to blame.

18. Courage to “Stand Up and Speak-Out ” • Entitlement & Privilege • Collusion of silence that exists between “well intentioned” men • Lack of accountability and courage to stand up to peers or be “One of the Guys”

19. Male Stereotypes & Masculinity • Unhealthy male stereotypes and beliefs perpetuated by the media about what it is to be a man that support domination, power & control in relationships that box us in and lead to unrealistic expectations about what it is to be a real man.

20. Act Like A Man (aka the Boy Code) Gender Box

21. Men Are - • supposed to be … • supposed to do … • supposed to have … • not supposed to …

22. Act Like A Woman Gender Box

23. Women Are - • supposed to be … • supposed to do … • supposed to have … • not supposed to …

24. Fathering & Violence • For some men , parenting is not seen as “real man’s” work. • Experience it: Some men were physically, emotionally or sexually abused by their fathers • Witness it: Some men grew up seeing their father physically and emotionally abuse their mother.

25. Sexual Objectification of Women • Sexist attitudes and beliefs that devalue and demean women and young girls • Pornography, prostitution and the objectification of women as sexual objects in our culture

26. Culture Of Fear • To understand that women live in a “culture of fear” regarding men in general and that we, as men, can change that.

27. Men, Consider This… • What steps do we take on a daily basis to keep from getting sexually assaulted?

28. Now, Women • What steps do you take on a daily basis to keep from getting sexually assaulted?

29. So What do we do???

30. Learn and Get Involved… • Acknowledge the fact that we may know women we love or care about who may have been victimized; • Have the courage to open the door and be willing to be interested and listen carefully to their stories. • Ask if you can be helpful & know where to refer for help. • Take action to support and strengthen the existing values and beliefs among “well intentioned men” that sexual, physical and emotional abuse perpetrated by men against women and children is wrong and will no longer be tolerated.

31. Not Just a “Women’s Issue” Anymore • We need to accept the fact Men’s Violence Against Women is a public health and human rights issue. • And, that this is “not just a Women's Issue” or “a personal or private matter” but a community issue that affects all of us and requires men and women to work together as allies.

32. Focus on new images of Masculinity • The need to appreciate and value the differences between Men and Women and to treat each other with dignity and respect. • Take responsibility for being loving and nurturing. • Communicate feelings, warmth and genuine care and concern to those people who we love and care about.

33. Educate Future Generations • The need to educate our sons and other young men about the responsibility we share as Men in ending the men’s violence against women. • What does the future have in store? • What will the world be like 20 years from now? • More Courage & Commitment From the Younger Generations Of Men

34. About Being a Stand Up Guy! • Being a Stand Up Guy is not about assessing blame or inflicting guilt, it’s about working and challenging men to get involved and do the right thing. • Once the collective voices of men are heard together with the voices of women, Men’s Violence in our community will end.

35. The Schenectady Stand Up Guys Pledge As aStand Up Guy: • I pledge to treat all the women in my life with dignity, respect & equality. • I pledge to take the time to listen to the women in my life and to acknowledge that their perspective of the world is valuable and is as equally important as mine. • I pledge to have the courage to speak out about sexist values, attitudes & beliefs that perpetuate violence against women. • I pledge to learn, practice & teach non-violent methods to resolve conflict.

36. Conclusion • Men’s Violence Against Women will continue in our communities until men take an active part in Standing Up and Speaking Out against the underlying cultural values, attitudes & beliefs that support violence against women and reinforce the message that it is NOT OK to abuse, rape, hit, assault, objectify or control women.

37. Closing Thoughts “You must be the change you want to see in the world”. Mahatma Gandhi “Progress is not possible without deviation from the norm” Frank Zappa

38. Please Stand Up and Join Us!eMail us at:info@SchenctadyStandupGuys.org