第三章 英国名家演说汉译

1. 第三章 英国名家演说汉译 第一节 第二节

2. 第一节 • 31-35

3. Original 31: • Gentlemen, • I cannot do better than take my cue from your distinguished President, and refer in my first remarks to his remarks in connection with the old, natural, association between you and me. When I received an invitation from a private association of working members of the press of New York to dine with them today, I accepted that compliment in grateful remembrance of a calling that was once my own, and in loyal sympathy towards a brotherhood which, in spirit, I have never quitted.

4. 1) Analysis of the original: • A) Grammatical analysis • B) Stylistic analysis

5. A) Grammatical analysis: • (1) Sentence structure • (2) Additional complication • (3) Notes • (4) Paraphrase

6. (1) Sentence structure： • The present selection consists of two sentences, of which the first is a simple sentence while the second is a complex sentence, composed of an adverbial clause of time, a main clause and two attributive clauses, one embedded in the middle of the main clause and the other at the end of it.

7. (2) Additional complication： • After the conjunction than in the first sentence, there are two coordinate infinitive phrases; the second sentence begins with an adverbial clause and has a parenthesis embedded in the attributive clause at the end of the sentence.

8. (3) Notes： • In the first sentence, I cannot do better than take my cue… and refer… to…means it would be better for me to take my cue …and refer… to… while…and referin my first remarks to his remarks in connection with the old, natural, association…means …and in my first remarks refer to his remarks regarding the old, natural association…. And in When I received an invitation from a private association of working members of the press of New York to dine with them today, I accepted that compliment in grateful remembrance of a calling that was once my own, and in loyal sympathy towards a brotherhood which, in spirit, I have never quitted, the backbone structure is when I received…, I accepted … in grateful remembrance… and in loyal sympathy…

9. (4) Paraphrase： • The selection could be paraphrased as follows: It would be better for me to take my cue from your distinguished President and begin my remarks by referring to his remarks concerned with the old, natural relations between you and me. When I received an invitation from a private New York press association to dine with them today, I gratefully accepted the compliment and recalled the profession that was once my own. I regard them as my brothers and have loyal sympathy for them, and that sympathy, in spirit, I have never quitted.

10. B) Stylistic analysis: • (1) Periodicity • (2) Structural complication • (3) Parallel structure • (4) Cohesive device • (5) Structural and lexical formality

11. (1) Periodicity： • Of two sentences, the first is loose while the second is periodic in structure, for it begins with an adverbial clause and has a parenthetic structure embedded.

12. (2) Structural complication： • The two sentences are structurally complicated to some extent for the reason that in the first sentence, there are two infinitive phrases in coordination, which together with the conjunction than form an elliptic adverbial clause of comparison, and the second sentence is complex in structure and it is a periodic sentence.

13. (3) Parallel structure： • In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example, take my cue…, and refer in my first remarks to his remarks…; old and natural; you and me; I received… and I accepted…; and in grateful remembrance… and inloyal sympathy… .

14. (4) Cohesive device： • In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; I and remarks are repeated, and my and me are used to stand for I; association is used as a synonym for connection; and that complement is used to refer to the invitation, and so on.

15. (5) Structural and lexical formality： • Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it contains are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are popularly used, for example, distinguished, president, remark, connection, natural, association, receive, accept, remember, invitation, to name only a few.

16. 2) Staged translation: • A) Translation 1 with comments • B) Translation 2 with comments • C) Translation 3 with comments

17. A) Translation 1: • 先生们: • 我不能比从你的尊敬的主席先生那里找到线索的做法做得更好了，而且在我的首先讲话中提到他的讲话，与你我之间的古老的天然的联系有关的。当我收到纽约新闻界工作成员的一个私人团体邀请我同他们共进晚餐时，我接受了对我的恭维，带着感激回忆了那曾经是我的职业的一种职业，带着对兄弟情谊的真诚的情感，这种情感，从精神上说，我从未丢弃过。

18. Comments: • The translation is far from satisfactory due to the fact that it rigidly follows the original lexically and structurally, although some fine-tuning has been imposed on during the translating process. For the sake of authentic Chinese, clauses within the two sentences should be rearranged and clarity should be added to the meaning of the translation. Specifically speaking, 在我的首先讲话中is not a natural Chinese expression; 与你我之间的古老的天然的联系有关的; 带着感激回忆了那曾经是我的职业的一种职业and带着对兄弟情谊的真诚的情感……are put in the wrong positions against Chinese norms.

19. B) Translation 2: • 我最好是从你们尊敬的主席先生刚才的讲话里寻找线索，在我的开场白中谈谈他说过的你我之间那种古老的天然的联系。当我收到由纽约新闻界工作成员组成的一个私人团体邀请我同他们共进晚餐时，我感激地回忆了我曾经做过的新闻工作，以对同行的真诚情谊，接受了他们对我的敬意。对于同行的真诚友谊，我心中一直没有丢弃过。

20. Comments: • Improvements are made on the previous translation in that the first sentence is reorganized and sounds more authentic. Furthermore, the second sentence is reorganized to a greater extent with the use of such natural expressions as 共进晚餐; 感激地回忆了; 我曾经做过的新闻工作; 真诚情谊; 对我的敬意; 心中; 一直没有丢弃过and so on. However, this does not necessarily imply that there is not any room for further improvement.

21. C) Translation 3: • 刚才尊敬的主席先生谈到了你我之间的古老而天然的联系。在我的开场白中，从他的讲话中获取灵感、接过他的话题来阐述你我之间的这种联系，是最好不过的了。纽约的新闻界看得起我，邀请我同他们共进晚餐，我心存感激，接受了他们的盛情。此事唤起了我的回忆，我也曾在新闻界工作过，对新闻界的同行怀有深情厚谊，这种情谊我心里一刻也没有忘怀。

22. Comments: • Improvements are further made on the previous translation in that the first sentence is broken up into two and reorganized drastically. For example, 刚才尊敬的主席先生谈到了你我之间的古老而天然的联系is fronted and now stands as a sentence on its own. In addition, more natural expressions are employed such as 谈到; 古老而天然的联系; 在我的开场白中; 获取灵感; 接过他的话题; 最好不过的; 看得起我, and others. The second sentence is also broken up into two and reorganized drastically with more natural expressions used such as心存感激; 唤起了我的回忆; 没有忘怀, and others.

23. Original 32: • To the wholesome training of severe newspaper work, when I was a very young man, I constantly refer my first successes; and my sons will hereafter testify to their father that he was always steadily proud of that ladder by which he rose. If it were otherwise, I should have but a very poor opinion of their father, which, perhaps, upon the whole, I have not.

24. 1) Analysis of the original: • A) Grammatical analysis • B) Stylistic analysis

25. A) Grammatical analysis: • (1) Sentence structure • (2) Additional complication • (3) Notes • (4) Paraphrase

26. (1) Sentence structure： • The present selection consists of two sentences, of which the first is a compound complex sentence, composed of a main clause, which in turn consists of two coordinate clauses, and an adverbial clause of time embedded at the end of the prepositional phrase at the beginning of the sentence, an object clause embedded in the second coordinate clause and an attributive clause embedded in the object clause. The second is a complex sentence, composed of an adverbial clause of condition and a main clause, which in turn has an attributive clause embedded at the end of the sentence.

27. (2) Additional complication： • The first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase and the adverbial clause immediately after it is parenthetic in structure; the second sentence, in subjunctive mood, begins with a conditional clause, and at the end of the sentence, perhaps and upon the whole, are two parentheses.

28. (3) Notes： • In the first sentence, to the wholesome training of severe newspaper work, when I was a very young man, I constantly refer my first successes could be understood like this: I constantly refer my first successes to the wholesome training of severe newspaper work, and at that time, I was a very young man. In the second sentence, I should have but a very poor opinion of their father means I should have only a very poor opinion of their father.

29. (4) Paraphrase： • Since a paraphrase for the second sentence is unnecessary, the first sentence will be paraphrased as follows: When I was a very young man, I received the wholesome training of severe newspaper work and now I constantly refer my first successes to that training. I regard the training as the ladder by which I rose and am always steadily proud of that ladder. And my sons will give evidence to that after my death.

30. B) Stylistic analysis: • (1) Periodicity • (2) Structural complication • (3) Parallel structure • (4) Cohesive device • (5) Structural and lexical formality

31. (1) Periodicity： • The two sentences the selection contains are both periodic in structure in that the first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase with an adverbial clause embedded as a parenthesis; and the second sentence begins with an adverbial clause of condition and has two parentheses embedded at the end of it.

32. (2) Structural complication： • The two sentences are structurally complicated for their multiple embeddings and periodicity.

33. (3) Parallel structure • In the selection, there isn’t any parallel structure except that the first sentence is composed of two coordinate clauses.

34. (4) Cohesive device: • In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: I is repeatedly used together with my; their is used in connection with my sons; that ladder is used to refer to newspaper work, and so on.

35. (5) Structural and lexical formality： • Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it contains are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words and nominalizations are popularly used, for example, wholesome, constantly, success, hereafter, testify, steadily, otherwise, and others.

36. 2) Staged translation: • A) Translation 1 with comments • B) Translation 2 with comments • C) Translation 3 with comments

37. A) Translation 1: • 经过有益的报界工作的严格的训练，当我还是个年轻人的时候，我经常将我的最初的成功归之于它。今后我的儿子们向他们的父亲证实，他一直对他赖以登攀的阶梯引以自豪。要不然的话，我对他们的父亲的看法是会很差的，这样的看法，总的说来，是没有的。

38. Comments: • By following the original rigidly in terms of both vocabulary and structure, the translation has produced unsatisfactory results in that by placing当我还是个年轻人的时候immediately before 我经常将……, the reader might be misled to understand that but now I am not referring my first successes to the wholesome training of sever newspaper work. 今后我的儿子们向他们的父亲证实……is a mistranslation of my sons will hereafter testify to their father, which should be understood as after my death, my sons will testify to their father…as could be evidenced by the word was used in the subordinate clause that follows.

39. B) Translation 2: • 我年轻的时候，经过了有益的严格的在报界工作的训练，我经常将我的成功归之于它。今后我的儿子们也会证实，他们的父亲对自己赖以攀登的阶梯感到自豪。不然的话，我对他们的父亲的看法会是很差的，但总体上，我没有这样的看法。

40. Comments: • The second translation has put right some of the mistakes in the first. However, 今后我的儿子们也会证实has in essence not improved on the corresponding previous part at all. Nevertheless, some minor readjustments can be witnessed throughout in the present translation.

41. C) Translation 3: • 我经常将我的成功归功于年轻时当记者受到了有益的严格训练。我百年之后，我的儿子们在谈到他们的父亲时会说，他将记者生涯当作成名的阶梯而引以自豪。不然的话，我不认为，他们的父亲是个训练有素的人。但总体上看，他们的父亲是训练有素的。

42. Comments: • The present translation has put right the remaining mistake in Translation 2. In addition, it has reduced the first long sentence in Translation 2 into a condensed short sentence. Besides, taking into consideration of Chinese norms, the present translation has employed such ready expressions as谈到他们的父亲时会说; 记者生涯and others to substitute for the corresponding parts in the previous translation; and 他们的父亲是个训练有素的人; and 他们的父亲是训练有素的, are results of explicit translation. Consequently, the present translation is more readable, coherent and authentic.

43. Original 33: • Hence, gentlemen, under any circumstances, this company would have been exceptionally interesting and gratifying to me. But whereas I supposed that like the fairies’ pavilion in “Arabian Nights”, it would be but a mere handful, and I find it turn out, like the same elastic pavilion, capable of comprehending a multitude, so much the more proud am I of the honor of being your guest; for you will readily believe that the more widely representative of the press in America my entertainers are, the more I must feel the good-will and the kindly sentiments towards me of the vast institution.

44. 1) Analysis of the original: • A) Grammatical analysis • B) Stylistic analysis

45. A) Grammatical analysis: • (1) Sentence structure • (2) Additional complication • (3) Notes • (4) Paraphrase

46. (1) Sentence structure： • The selection consists of two sentences, of which the first sentence is simple in structure while the second is a complex sentence, composed of an adverbial clause of concession which consists of a main clause and an object clause, a main clause, consisting of two coordinate clauses, and an adverbial clause of consequence with an adverbial clause of reason after it, which in turn consists of a main clause and an adverbial clause of comparison in the pattern the more…, the more….

47. (2) Additional complication： • The first sentence has a complicated beginning composed of an adverb, a vocative and a prepositional phrase. The second sentence begins with an adverb followed by an adverbial clause, whose subject clause begins with a prepositional structure; in the second coordinate clause of the main clause of the sentence, there is a parenthesis embedded, that is, like the same elastic pavilion; and the order of the adverbial clause of consequence is partially inverted, and so is the order of the adverbial clause of comparison together with its main clause. And the first sentence is in subjunctive mood.

48. (3) Notes： • In the second sentence, but whereas I supposed that like the fairies’ pavilion in “Arabian Nights” means but in contrast to my supposition that …. The pavilion in “Arabian Nights” refers to a small tent that can accommodate a small number of people. Still in the second sentence, it would be but a mere handful means it would only be a few; and …and I find it turn out, like the same elastic pavilion, capable of comprehending a multitude could be rearranged in this way: … and I find it turn out capable of comprehending a multitude like the same elastic pavilion.

49. Notes (continued) • The backbone structure of But whereas I supposed that like the fairies’ pavilion in “Arabian Nights”, it would be but a mere handful, and I find it turn out, like the same elastic pavilion, capable of comprehending a multitude, so much the more proud am I of the honor of being your guest is but whereas I supposed that … it would be… , and I find it…, so much the more proud am I of …; for you will readily believe….

50. (4) Paraphrase： • Based on the above analysis, we believe that it is unnecessary to paraphrase the first sentence and in the following, only the second sentence is paraphrased. Originally I supposed that like the fairies’ pavilion in “Arabian Nights”, the gathering would only consist of a small number of entertainers but I find out that it turns out to be, like the same elastic pavilion, capable of accommodating a great many. For this reason, I am much more proud of the honor of being your guest. The reason lies within your ready belief that the more representatives come from the press of America as my entertainers, the more good-will and kind sentiments towards me of the vast organization I must feel.