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Rethinking the American Child. There are three basic tasks of the adolescence journey Who am I? Identity Do I and my choices matter? Autonomy Where do I fit in? Affinity. Journey to Adulthood (as defined by culture). Society’s Responses to Adolescence.
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There are three basic tasks of the adolescence journey • Who am I? Identity • Do I and my choices matter? Autonomy • Where do I fit in? Affinity
Journey to Adulthood (as defined by culture)
Society’s Responses to Adolescence “We have evolved to the point where we believe driving is support, being active is love, and providing any and every opportunity is selfless nurture. We are a culture that has forgotten how to be together. We have lost the ability to spend unstructured downtime.” From Chap Clark, Hurt: Inside the world of today’s teenagers.
Response to Systemic Abandonment The World Beneath A Second Family Art of Multiple Lives New Morality Social Cluster vs. Social Cliques
“In their most shocking and often frightening behavior, in the rules of their private world, as well as in the longing of their hearts, children are telling us everything we need to know, not just about them, but about ourselves. By peering thoughtfully and bravely into their universe, adults can find answers that will heal our families, restore out schools, and strengthen our communities.” From Ron Taffel with Melinda Blau, The Second Family: How adolescent power is challenging the American family.
The Six Longings of Today’s Kids The Longing to Belong The Longing to Matter The Longing to be Wanted The Longing for a Safe Place The Longing to be Taken Seriously The Longing to be Uniquely Myself
So What Do We Do About It? We must be committed to a healthy authenticity Transparent Honest Minimize Transference
So What Do We Do About It? We must create a sanctuary Free of judgment Where we listen Messiness is allowed
So What Do We Do About It? We pursue one kid at a time Finding the bridge Seek understanding/Be curious Unconditional positive regard
So What Do We Do About It? We sit on the steps of the world beneath Learn cultural artifacts Learn their language Give the gift of presence
Further Thoughts Study your Scriptures Pray, Pray, Pray Know that God is already at work (in the kids and in you) Enjoy yourself Don’t expect reciprocity from the kids Take risks
Prayer for our Youth O Christ Jesus,when all is darknessand our kids feel weak and helpless,give them the sense of Your presence,Your love, and Your strength.Help them to have perfect trustin Your protecting loveand strengthening power,so that nothing may frighten or worry them,for it is in living close to You,that we shall see Your hand,Your purpose, and Your will through and in all things.