Memoirs & Style Test Feedback

2. Memoirs & Style Test Feedback • Team Average: 83% • 1A: 79% 3B: 88% • 2: 83.4% 4B: 77% • 3A: 78.4% • 4A: 82.4% Some of the highest scores on the team belong to: Skyler, Madison, Rhea, Bryce, Jessica Y., Jacob F., David G., Laura Hill, Patrick Mann, & Will Tabor

3. Let’s Check the Answers…

4. If you came to the conclusion that Charlie dies at the end of the story, then you came to that conclusion...

6. Summary of Charlie’s statement: Disproving a scientific theory is just as important as proving that one is true. I am sorry that my contribution to science disproved your theory. I’m sorry that your theory failed and is in ashes.

9. #24. Which one of the first 4 sentences in the passage tells you that this will be a funny story?

10. The phrases "Operation Hike" and "the Miracle of the Sandwiches" are funny because they

11. If you made a 75% or below, I will have lunch help to go over similar test items THIS WEDNESDAY; pick up a pass from me. You can re-take a similar test DURING LUNCH ON THURSDAY; you can re-coop ½ of the points you missed.

14. I DID NOT CORRECT EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD ON YOUR ESSAY.I DID NOT COMMENT ON EVERYTHING AWESOME ON YOUR ESSAY

15. Layered Support vs. Elaborated Support WE ALL NEED TO GET BETTER AT THIS

16. From “Layered” to “Elaborated” • High Quality Writing has “elaborated” support, not layered support • So, what is layered support?

17. Layered Support • Uses a series of statements that aren’t closely connected to each other • Like a list of different details • Separate reasons why (main points/Supportpoints) • They give a lot of differentexamples instead of going into depth about ONE.

18. Example of Layered Support(it tells the reader a lot of different details and gets about a 4 or a 5) Before Boy Scouts, I was afraid of the wilderness and did not have survival skills. I was afraid of the wilderness, especially bees because one time I got stung by a plethora of yellow jackets. I now cringe every time I think about bees attacking my skin. The wilderness also scares me because there is so much “unknown” out there; who knows what is lurking behind each tree. I needed more survival skills so I would not be so afraid. I don’t know the difference between honeysuckle, crabgrass, or poison ivy! If I needed to make a fire to stay warm, I would need matches! Let’s not even mention what I would look like trying to put a tent together! Little did I know, I would soon be an expert on the topic.

19. Where are details “LAYERED”? Before Boy Scouts, I was afraid of the wilderness and did not have survival skills. I was afraid of the wilderness, especially bees because one time I got stung by a plethora of yellow jackets. I now cringe every time I think about bees attacking my skin. The wilderness also scares me because there is so much “unknown” out there; who knows what is lurking behind each tree. I needed more survival skills so I would not be so afraid. I don’t know the difference between honeysuckle, crabgrass, or poison ivy! If I needed to make a fire to stay warm, I would need matches! Let’s not even mention what I would look like trying to put a tent together! Little did I know, I would soon be an expert on the topic.

20. Elaborated Support According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, elaborated is…. Planned or carried out with great care; marked of complexity, fullness of detail According to the Oxford English dictionary, elaborated is… Involving many carefully arranged parts or details; detailed and complicated in design and planning.

21. It begins with your thinking… You want to be able to FULLY develop your topic… so you’ve got to make sure your IDEAS (your MAIN POINTS and SUPPORTING POINTS) PROGRESS. So, instead of thinking of 2-3 completely different reasons why “London is your favorite place….” Think of 2-3 reasons that can be connected to each other…

22. Instead of this… London is my favorite place… & the sights Harry Potter London is my favorite place… Do this… because Influences its current culture. it’s past

23. Starts in the planning stage… Before Boy Scouts I was afraid because of the wilderness I had no survival skills

24. ELABORATED SUPPORT • Uses additional details that are connected to the main point… these additional details could be anecdotes, illustrations (imagery), and examples that further clarify the meaning of the main point. • All of this kind of support should answer the question “What do you mean by ____(main point)__________ • YOU SHOW THE READER YOUR POINTS

25. ELABORATED SUPPORT Before Boy Scouts, I was afraid of the wilderness because I did not know the faintest thing about survival skills. My fear of wild beasts began with bees. On Valentine’s Day 2008, instead of getting shot by Cupid’s arrow, I was stung by a yellow jacket and I haven’t been the same since. Whenever there was talk of camping, my shields rose to defend my body from having to go out in the wild, waiting to be a target for those demonic shots with wings. This fear arose from lack of survival skills. I couldn’t even distinguish Poison Ivy from Crabgrass! Last year I had to be rushed to Wolfson’s Children Hospital after gulping down a few stems of Poison Oak, which I mistook as honey suckle. Little did I know, I would soon be an expert on the topic.

26. Everyone will… • Choose a paragraph from their essay and rewrite it making it more ELABORATIVE. • You might need to re-plan the paragraph. OR • Re-write THE ENTIRE essay for a NEW GRADE • YOUR RE-WRITE (paragraph or essay) is DUE THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME.

27. Appositive • A noun, or noun phrase, that helps clarify the subject (noun) of the sentence • The insect, a cockroach, crawled slowly across the counter. • The insect, a large, hairy-legged cockroach that spied my bowl of oatmeal, crawled slowly across the counter.

28. Work Period • Work on re-writing either the WHOLE essay or a paragraph. (Yes, it needs to be typed again.) • IF YOU FINISH your paragraph (does not need to be typed), then • Turn your paragraph in • And, hole-punch your essay and log it in your portfolio as “Turning Point Essay”