At a loss for words?

At a loss for words? 214 Evans Library | 205 West Campus Library writingcenter.tamu.edu | 979-458-1455

Writing Clearly, Correctly, and Concisely

Writing Clearly The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. —George Orwell

Active vs. Passive Voice • Active: We have determined the target market to be adults between the ages of 30 and 45. • Passive: The target market was determined to be adults between the ages of 30 and 45. • Who’s doing what to whom? • Active voice identifies the actor. • Passive puts the object being acted on first. • Check which style your professor prefers.

Clarity and Complexity Complex phrases and clauses, new information, and technical terms are easier to process when placed at the end of a sentence. • Complex:Lincoln’s claim that the Civil War was God’s punishment of both the North and South for slavery appears in the last part of the speech. • Revised: In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims that God gave the Civil War to both the North and South as a punishment for slavery.

Clarity and Complexity Here is another example. The more complex phrase is easier for the reader to process when it comes at the end of the sentence. Complex: Questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feedingare the most difficult. Revised: The most difficult questions are about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding.

Word Choice • Avoid informallanguage if you are trying to maintain a professional/academic tone. Avoid ambiguous language to enhance clarity.

Check for Unnecessary Repetition • Circle or highlight any repeated words. Replace repeated words with synonyms. • *Repetition of key words can also create unity.

Creating Coherence Key Words: Most difficult are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding. Intravenous feeding can prolong life to an indefinite extent, but it cannot always preserve its quality. Without quality, many would argue, life is worthless. Varied Word Choice: Most difficult are questions about the ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding. Tube sustenance can prolong existence to an indefinite extent, but it cannot always preserve its quality. Without that, many would argue, living is worthless.

Verb Tense Methods: Smith (2010) enrolled 200 participants in her study on cognitive learning. Results: Smith (2010) found that 20% of participants learned more when listening to music while studying. General Conclusions: Smith (2010) concludes that students should listen to music while studying to improve the learning process. Arguments: Smith (2010) argues that federal policy should allow public school students to listen to music while they study. *These are general guidelines. Verb tense standards might vary by field and journal.

Writing Correctly It is perfectly okay to write garbage—as long as you edit brilliantly. —C. J. Cherryh

Understanding Clauses { } • Because Aggies believe in honesty and loyalty,they do not lie, cheat or steal. Independent clause -Can stand on its own as a sentence -Receives the most emphasis Dependentclause -Is a sentence fragment -Adds extra information

Dependent Clause Indicators { } Because I go to Texas A&M, I follow the Aggie Honor Code. A clause is probably dependent if it starts with words like because, if, when, while, since, that, which, who, as, or a preposition.

Subject & Verb Agreement Verb Subject Example Singular Two, singularThe primary investigator orstudent subjects worker is going to weigh the sample. Singular Each Each of the participants knowshow to score the advertisement. Plural Either/orNeither the surveys nor the Neither/nor interviewsshow increased understanding. Singular Sums of Three hundred dollars is the cost of the money project. Plural “Data” The datasuggest an improvement.

Noun & Pronoun Agreement Noun Pronoun Example Singular SingularEach of the participants knows his orherrole in the study. Singular SingularAs the control group, theclass hasits own pre-test. Plural Plural As the control group, theclass hastheir own pre-test.

Listing Nonparallel: The researcher filtered the compound, weighed the sample, and remaining material. Parallel: The researcher filtered the compound, weighed the sample, and stored the remaining material. List items should be punctuated appropriately. Semicolons separate list items that have commas in them. Also, consider whether the list should be numbered or bulleted. The data for Smith’s (2010) study were collected in Bryan, TX; San Diego, CA; and Boston, MA. Each item in a list should have the same grammatical structure. In other words, the items should be parallel.

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers • A misplaced modifier is too far away from the word it’s trying to describe. • Ex: As survey distributors, it was vital that the teachers remained impartial. • As survey distributors, the teachers needed to remain impartial. • A dangling modifier describes a word that isn’t in the sentence. • Ex: Once stored in a controlled temperature, the researcher waited three days. • Once stored in a controlled temperature, the sample remained there for three days.

Restrictive & Nonrestrictive Clauses Restrictive clauses Cannot be removed without altering the meaning of the sentence Take “that” or “who” Are not set off with commas Nonrestrictive: The study, which was done in 2011, modeled risk communication. Restrictive: Her study that modeled risk communication was done in 2011. • Nonrestrictive clauses • Can be removed without altering the meaning of the sentence • Take “which” or “who” • Are set off with commas

Punctuation • Check for . . . • Commas • Semi-colons • Colons • Apostrophes

Commas Commas separate two complete sentences (or independent clauses) joined by a coordinating conjunction: For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So

Commas Commas separate introductory material Commas on both sides of interrupting words or phrases

Semicolons & Colons Semicolons Separate two complete sentences (second sentence NOT capitalized) Used in lists where there are commas within the items of the list {;} Colons • Set apart a complete sentence from an example or list • Ex. The researcher conducted two studies: a content analysis and a case study. {:}

Apostrophes It’s (it is) Thomas’ (2003)book Thomas’s (2003) book Eachparticipant’sscore(singular) The participants’ scores (plural) _’_ Do not use apostrophes with time eras (the 1970s), plural last names (the Smiths), or possessive pronouns (its, his, hers, etc).

Writing Concisely This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. —Winston Churchill

Wordiness Check for . . . • Excess Words • Repeated Words • Ambiguous Words • Negatives • Active/Passive Voice

Remove Excess Words Delete doubles • full and complete • tried and true • each and every Delete redundancies true facts free gift in a wise manner red in color seven in number come to an agreement long in duration

Change Negatives to Affirmatives not many  few not often  rarely not stop  continue not include  omit not different  similar not the same  different not allow  prevent not notice  overlook From Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph Williams

Remove Sentence Sprawl A sentence sprawls when there are many clauses after the verb. Reduce sprawl by cutting or revising who/that/which clauses. Ex: Teachers should remember thatstudents are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising moments thatadults ignore, and thatthey do not understand thatone day… • Ex: Teachers should remember students are vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising moments adults ignore, and they do not understand thatone day…

Paramedic Method http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0321441699/ref=dp_image_text_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books Circle the prepositions. Circle the “is” forms. Find the action. Put this action in a simple (not compound) active verb. Start fast—no slow windups. Read the passage aloud with emphasis and feeling. Mark off sentence’s basic rhythmic units. Mark sentence lengths.

The Official Style • The National Research Council Space Studies Board, in cooperation with the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board, is in the process of organizing a decadal survey to establish priorities and provide recommendations for life and physical sciences research in microgravity and partial gravity for the 2010-2020 decade. • Source: Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board of the National Academies (http://sites.nationalacademies.org/DEPS/ASEB/index.htm)

Paramedic Method Find the prepositions and “to be” verbs. • The National Research Council Space Studies Board, cooperation the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board, the process a decadal survey and co life and physical sciences research microgravity and partial gravity the 2010-2020 decade. in with Find the action and simplify: is in organizing of • is in the process of organizing  is organizing • establish priorities  prioritize • provide recommendations  recommend establish priorities to provide recommendations for in Start fast—no slow wind-ups. for in cooperation with  and

Revision The National Research Council Space Studies Board and the Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board are organizing a 2010-2020 survey to prioritize concerns and recommend life and physical sciences research in microgravity and partial gravity.

The Lard Factor Divide the difference between the number of words in the original and the number in the revised version by the number in the original. Original (46) minus Revision (34) = 12 12÷ 46 = .26 or 26%

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At a loss for words?