The Book of Proverbs

1. The Book of Proverbs The Temptation of Beauty Various Proverbs

2. The Temptation of Beauty [Wisdom] will save you … from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return or attain the paths of life. (2:16-19)

3. The Temptation of Beauty Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. (5:15-19)

4. The Temptation of Beauty For these commands are a lamp … keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. (6:23-29)

5. The Temptation of Beauty I noticed among the young men, a youth who lacked judgment … Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent … She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said … “Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love!”… With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. (7:7, 10, 13, 18, 21-23)

6. The Temptation of Beauty Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (11:22) There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden. This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I've done nothing wrong.” (30:18-20)

7. The Temptation of Beauty • Today we will look at what Proverbs has to say about two closely related topics: sex and beauty. • There are many passages in Proverbs that talk about sex and beauty – perhaps more than on any other topic besides the topic of wisdom. • You may have noticed that a majority of these passages warn young men to avoid becoming sexually involved with an adulteress (i.e. another man’s wife). • This is because Proverbs was originally written as an instruction manual to young men in a culture where they would frequently face this kind of temptation. • As we examine these texts, we will explore the underlying principles that are given so as to make more relevant application in our day.

8. The Temptation of Beauty Things We’ll Cover Today: • The Design of Sex and Beauty • When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • How to Overcome Sexual Sin • Christ Became Ugly to Make Us Beautiful

9. The Design of Sex and Beauty • Sex was designed by God to enhance the joy that a husband and a wife experience in an exclusivemarriage relationship. • Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. (5:15-18)

10. The Design of Sex and Beauty • In fact, sex was designed by God to produce intense, overwhelming pleasure between a husband and wife. • A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may [your wife’s] breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. (5:19) • The Hebrew word translated “captivated” here was a word that was used to describe someone who was staggering because they were drunk. • In other words this verse is telling us that marriage should be filled with intoxicating love.

11. The Design of Sex and Beauty • Physical beauty, likewise, was designed to give pleasure to (and, undoubtedly to arouse) a married couple as they look at one another. • How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! (Song of Sol 7:6) • How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! (Song of Sol 1:15-16) • Although it works both ways, men seem to be much more affected at a gut level by a woman’s beauty than visa versa.

12. The Design of Sex and Beauty • Sex and beauty go all the way back to God’s original creation – before the existence of sin: • Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Gen 2:22-25) • Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain… (Gen 4:1a ESV)

13. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden. (30:18-19) • This is a riddle. What do these four things have in common? • All four move in an easy, intriguing, graceful, and skillful way, without leaving behind any trace of their movements.

14. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Then comes the punch line: • This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I've done nothing wrong.” (30:18-20) • Wiping her mouth after eating means that the adulteress treats an illicit sexual encounter the same way she does eating: she feels no sense of guilt or remorse!

15. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden. This is the way of an adulteress: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I've done nothing wrong.” (30:18-20) • “The marvel of the way of a man with a young woman is therefore that they can have a sexual encounter and walk away from it without a pang of the conscience and perhaps even without another thought for each other. For them the encounter was no more significant than a meal, and it no more leaves an impression on their psyches than an eagle leaves a trail in the sky.” (Duane A. Garrett, The New American Commentary, Proverbs, p.241)

16. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • As we saw earlier, sex was designed by God to be the physical culmination of a deep intimacy between a husband and wife who have already fully given themselves to each other through the covenant of marriage. • This is why Proverbs condemns the sexual immorality of an adulteress as the abandonment of an intimate friend (her husband) and the violation of a covenant made before God (the marriage covenant): • [the adulteress] has left the partner [in the Hebrew= “an intimate friend”] of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God. (2:17)

17. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • This is why in the New Testament, Paul confronts the Corinthians who had a false view similar to that of the adulteress in Proverbs 30:20 – that having sex outside of marriage was an area of liberty, like eating food. • First Paul summarizes their view: • “Everything is permissible for me”… “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”... (1Cor 6:12-13)

18. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Then Paul shows that it is unthinkable for a Christian who is intimately united with Christ to use their body (which Christ owns) to become physically united (i.e. have sex) with someone to whom they are not married (like a prostitute): • The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord… Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh…. (1Cor 6:14-20)

19. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Then Paul shows that it is unthinkable for a Christian who is intimately united with Christ to use their body (which Christ owns) to become physically united (i.e. have sex) with someone to whom they are not married (like a prostitute): • Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body… You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1Cor 6:14-20)

20. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Note: Paul is not saying that Christians should not have sex - he is only saying they should not have sex outside of marriage. Because in the very next chapter he says: • Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1Cor 7:8-9)

21. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Because we are sinners, a woman’s physical beauty, which God designed for good purposes, can cause problems for both men and women: • Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (11:22) • The gold ring refers to a nose ring worn by women in the ancient world, that was designed to make them attractive (cf. Gen 24:47). • The pig, of course, is a filthy, unattractive, obnoxious animal. • So the point here is that whatever beauty the ring might have is eclipsed by the ugliness of the pig and is therefore wasted.

22. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (11:22) • The application for women is obvious: though physical beauty is desirable, you should give a higher priority to building good character – otherwise you will find that your lack of discretion will ruin whatever benefits you have gained beauty through your beauty. • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (1Pet 3:3-4)

23. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (11:22) • There may be an application here for men as well: if you become overly focused on the physical beauty of other women – one day you will find that you were so focused on the beautiful ring when you reached for it, that you didn’t notice that there was a lot of nasty baggage that came with that ring!

24. When Sex and Beauty Get Ugly • There is a similar warning given to men in another Proverb: • Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.. (6:25-26) • [Jesus speaking:]You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Mat 5:27-29)

25. How to Overcome Sexual Sin • Don’t get started • Once you allow a pattern of sexual sin into your life it is not easy to get rid of. • You will soon find yourself like the youth in Proverbs 7 who allowed himself to be seduced – you will be like an ox going to the slaughter(7:22) • You will start out thinking that you can manage your sexual sin – but if you continue, you will soon find out that you can’t: Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? (7:22) Not very likely!

26. How to Overcome Sexual Sin • Admit that you have a sin problem • Confess it to God (1John 1:9) • Confess it to others where appropriate (James 5:16) • Get help – from fellow believers who have the spiritual maturity to help you and will hold you accountable (Gal 6:1) • Flee sexual immorality (1Cor 6:18) • If appropriate – get married (1Cor 7:9) to a fellow believer who is faithfully serving God.

27. How to Overcome Sexual Sin • Ultimately • You need to fall in love with Christ to the extent that your love for Him carries more weight with you than the love of your sexual sin. • You need to come to the place where the beauty of who Christ is and what He has done for you, is far more attractive to you than any physical beauty that you see around you.

28. Christ Became Ugly to Make Us Beautiful • Isaiah tells us that in His humanity [Jesus] had no beauty or majesty to attract us to Him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (Isaiah 53:2-3) • Jesus gave up the beauty and glories of heaven and humbled Himself to come to earth as a despised man and in our natural state we despised Him – it was our sin that put Him on that cross. • Why did he do it? He did it for us!