Social Cognition: Helping to Relate

1. Social Cognition:Helping to Relate The Role of Emotional Intelligence in a Neuro-developmental Model of Assessment and Interventions

2. Agenda • Housekeeping • Introduction of Rudolf Stockling • Presentation • Discussion

3. Introduction of Rudolf Stockling EDUCATION / MEMBERSHIP • MSc (Psych) Wollongong • Member Australian Psychological Society (APS) • Registered Psychologist NSW Australia EXPERIENCE • Secondary Teacher (4 Years) • Educational Psychologist (12 Years) • Psychologist in Private Practice (8 Years) • Director of Assessment Lexicon Reading Centre Dubai (at present), www.lexiconreadingcenter.org

4. The Neuro-developmental Model of Learning

6. Social Cognition Systems • I. Utilizing Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others • II. Utilizing Non-Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others

7. Recommended Social Skills

8. Interpersonal Relations • Verbal / Non-Verbal Communication • Use “I” Messages • Employ Active Listening • Use body language and facial expressions to convey messages

9. I. Utilizing Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others • Communicating Feelings • Interpretation of Feelings • Matching the Emotions of Others • Adjusting Language for Different Audiences • Selecting and Maintaining Topics of Conversation

10. I. Utilizing Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others cont. • Utilizing Humour • Making Requests of Others • Using the Language of the Group • Communication Monitoring and Repair • Criticism and Critical Interpretations

11. Awareness of Self and Others • Empathy • Detect and identify one’s own feelings • Recognize and identify signs of emotion in another person

12. Empathy / Active ListeningOutcomesIn Progress Proficient

13. Awareness of Self and Others • Expectations in Relationships • Identify expectations they have of their friends • Recognize expectations that friends and family members have of them • Critically analyze societal expectations • Respect and celebrate individual differences

14. Activity 1: Match Skill and Possible Problems • Look at Activity Sheet 1 • Read the left side column of Verbal sub-skills and match with right hand column of possible problems. (The two columns don’t match). • Write the correct number beside each sub-skill (The first one has been done).

15. A Communicating Feelings • How to help: • Improve students' ability to communicate their feelings by enhancing their ability to recognize their different emotional states and identify their own emotions. Help students develop the vocabulary words to label their emotions and thoughts, and improve their verbal expression of feelings. • Recognize students' non-verbal attempts to communicate feelings (e.g., facial expressions, sighs, and gestures), and encourage them to express those feelings in words. • Allow students to express themselves in ways other than through oral discussion (e.g., writing journal entries, matching pictures, answering true/false questions, role-playing). • In particular, teach students to verbalize their feelings when they are becoming frustrated (e.g., This work is hard; I'm not sure what to do here; etc.).

16. B Interpretation of Feelings • How to help: • Use an advance organizer to focus student attention on how the targeted skill of understanding the feelings of others fits into the context of daily social settings, friendships, etc. • Build students' ability to interpret the feelings of others by having them practice: • inhibiting their initial responses or reactions and taking time to think about the situation, such as during a role-play activity • taking the perspective of others in an attempt to understand their feelings, such as in a story or role-play • reading the non-verbal cues in an interaction that help reveal a person's feelings, such as in a movie or role-play • understanding the image another person is trying to develop and project as a cue to his/her feelings, such as in a story or movie

17. C Matching the Emotions of Others • How to help: • Help students be aware of others' feelings and interests through role-playing activities. Promote students' ability to interpret feelings others display, as well as to communicate their own feelings. For example, have students "read" each other's cues in a role-play, integrating both verbal expressions and non-verbal cues (gestures, facial expressions, etc.). • Provide opportunities for students to improve their greeting skills (e.g., learning to match the affect of others to effectively approach an individual or enter a group). • Reinforce students for using appropriate non-verbal signals and verbal phrases during conversations, group activities, etc. • Guide students in self-monitoring during social situations (e.g., to be aware how their affect or mood changes within an interaction).

18. D Adjusting Language for Different Audiences • How to help: • Guide students in identifying the conversational styles expected from different audiences (friends, librarian, etc.). For example, have students complete the following chart, writing down the language that they can and cannot use with different groups. • Students may need to improve their ability to modify both the content and the delivery of their interactions, that is both what they say and how they say it. Use role-play situations to help students develop these skills and structured opportunities for them to practice with school personnel. • Students may benefit from examining the consequences of failing to switch conversation codes. Activities where students can play with language might include role-play activities and writing plays or short stories. • Students may need to develop an understanding of the language of their peer group to interact more effectively with their classmates.

19. ESelecting and Maintaining Topics of Conversation • How to help: • Provide opportunities for students to develop and effectively use the language that is appropriate for a particular audience (known as trait vocabulary). Through role-play, guide students in identifying the conversational styles (language, expressions, etc.) expected from different audiences, such as friends, teachers, etc. Help students identify topics of conversation best suited to that audience. • Provide opportunities for students to develop conversational skills, including pacing a conversation, and engaging greeting skills. Students may write scripts together to act out in a role-play activity.   • If a student makes frequent comments that don't seem to relate to the topic at hand, consider why he/she may be making seemingly "off the cuff" remarks. For example, she may be unable to read the social situation properly, or may feel that she can't contribute to the topic. This may leave a student feeling left out, and may cause her to try to change the subject. A student might also try to change the subject when he/she is more knowledgeable than others about a subject, is impatient at the pace of the discussion, etc.

20. F Utilizing Humour • How to help: • Humor is a sophisticated form of language. Students who are unable to use humor that fits their current social context may experience frustration with the "dead air" that follows their joke. These students may not be able to "read" their peers, use the language of their peers, or take the perspective of others to know when to use humor appropriately. These students may benefit from talking with their peers about humor and its uses in social situations. • Teach students the appropriate times for making jokes, humorous comments, etc. in your classroom, in the school, and community. Discuss inappropriate times as well, and how they vary from situation to situation. • Students may benefit from creating a list of topics that are appropriate for some audiences but not for others. Students may also need guidance in developing the ability to choose and use appropriate language based on the audience, a skill known as code switching. Click here to learn more about code switching. • Help students recognize the difference between friendly joking/teasing and rude remarks. If necessary, discuss topics that are not appropriate for friendly joking (e.g., death, poverty, ethnicity, etc).

21. G Making Requests of Others • How to help: • Improving students' requesting skills may include teaching them different phrases that are appropriate for making requests, and helping them improve the delivery of these phrases, e.g., using a pace and manner that reflects a request rather than a demand. Have students practice in your class, making requests of peers, of school personnel, etc. • Offer guidance that helps students improve their code switching abilities, i.e., show them how to adjust their language according to the audience with whom they are interacting. For example, have students ask for something from both their teacher and a friend. Compare the different ways they speak and act. • Provide students with specific examples of appropriate ways to ask for things in your classroom (e.g., raising your hand, submitting a written request, having a private meeting, etc). • Create contracts with students to reinforce appropriate request making. Specify expected behavior (e.g., asking friend to share supplies in an appropriate way, asking teacher for help in an appropriate way, etc.), and identify what kinds of reinforcement the student will receive when the contract is met (e.g., being class messenger for the day, getting 10 minutes of free reading time, etc.)

22. H Using the Language of the Group • How to help: • Provide students with opportunities to interact casually with other students (e.g., before and after school, between activities) in order to practice their use of peer-appropriate language. • Setting up social skills training groups in your classroom may give students a chance to learn and field-test new skills and behaviors that contribute to social competence. But, the positive effects of such groups may be negated by "the real world" social scenes of the school bus, the hallway, etc. In order to maximize the likelihood that newly acquired knowledge and skills will transfer to other settings: • Students must develop resiliency to social failures and resistance by others. • Students must develop adaptive coping strategies when attempts at social interaction are unsuccessful. • All students, not only those in special training groups, may need to be educated about the need to accept others.

23. I Communication Monitoring and Repair • How to help: • Emphasize the importance of previewing (thinking ahead) and self-monitoring (being aware of what one says and how one says it). Encourage students to make a list of things that might help regulate what they say and how they say it (e.g., take my time, think of what to say before starting, etc.). • Have students reflect upon social interactions with peers after a conversation or exchange. Discuss what information was effectively communicated, or could have been communicated more clearly, what might have been repaired or said a different way, etc. Provide examples of situations in which miscommunications are successfully repaired, e.g., a story in which a negative interaction becomes a positive one after misinterpretations are clarified. • Students may need to learn specific "repair" statements such as: "I can see you misunderstood me . . ." "What I meant to say was ...," "Let me say that another way.," "I could have said that better ...," etc. Help students develop a network of vocabulary related to emotions, and an ability to recognize and interpret a listener's non-verbal and verbal feedback during a social interaction. • Students may benefit from structured activities where they can explore interactions that spiral down from positive to negative, and those that improve from negative to positive. For example, students may watch movies or videos, read short stories or comic books, etc., and then discuss the positive and negative behaviors, the presence or absence of self-monitoring, examples of social "repairs," etc.

24. J Criticism and Critical Interpretations • How to help: • Set up classroom or homework activities such that the teacher is the only one providing constructive criticism. This will allow you to model appropriate language, etc. Be sure a student knows (in advance if possible) that you will be discussing his/her performance. • Make it easier for students to respond appropriately to teacher feedback by helping them start making corrections (e.g., do two problems together, write the next sentence together, etc.). • As students learn to accept constructive criticism from the teacher, have them practice giving suggestions and receiving feedback from peers during guided cooperative activities. In general, design more cooperative activities and reduce the emphasis on competition. Explain that constructive criticism is meant to be helpful, not threatening. Be sure criticisms are tactfully conveyed to and by students. • Help students improve their ability to see situations from different perspectives by suggesting that they ask, "How would I feel if someone said that about me?" Help students learn to plan their comments and criticisms carefully, e.g., by asking themselves, "How can I say this so he will not be too upset?" • Provide opportunities for students to improve their communication repair and conflict resolution skills. For example, have students practice recuperative strategies (both receiving and delivering negative feedback) in role-play situations and structured opportunities around school. Click here to learn more about conflict resolution.

25. II. Utilizing Non-Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others • A Greeting Abilities • B Reciprocal Behaviors • C Reinforcing Behaviors • D Perspective Taking • E Tangential Initiation • F Non-Verbal Cueing

26. II. Utilizing Non-Verbal Abilities to Relate to Others cont. • G Social Control Level • H Conflict Resolution • I Timing and Staging • J Social Self-Monitoring • K Image Development and Marketing • L Recuperative Strategies

27. Interpersonal Relations • Verbal / Non-Verbal Communication • Use “I” Messages • Employ Active Listening • Use body language and facial expressions to convey messages

28. A Greeting Abilities • How to help: • Provide students with opportunities to practice reading non-verbal behaviors (expressions, body language, etc.) of individuals or groups they want to approach. •   Provide guidelines to help students know when it is appropriate to greet others. Emphasize recognizing patterns of behavior, and paying attention to key details (saliency determination). Encourage students to think ahead before jumping into an interaction (response inhibition) by asking themselves questions such as: • Have I have ever interacted with this person before? How did that go? What is s/he doing now? Can I add to the activity? Will I be a distraction? Is s/he happy, sad, angry, anxious? Can I help? • Make sure the student knows that there are times when it is appropriate to interrupt others (e.g., during an emergency). • Help students learn that approaching a group of student peers is complicated by the fact that a hierarchy exists within any group; all individuals within a peer group do not all hold the same status. When students approach a group situation, encourage them to ask questions such as: • Which peer group do I approach? Do I greet the group as a whole? Do I greet an individual who will help me get into the group? • Enhance the likelihood that a student's initiations with a peer or peer group will be successful by setting up structured opportunities in the classroom. For example, have the student lead others in a small group activity that focuses on one of his interest or affinity areas. • Offer suggestions to the student to help initiate verbal interactions. Suggestions may be explicit (e.g., "Go to Sarah and ask, 'May I work on the painting project with you?'"), or general (e.g., "When working on the project today, compliment other members of the group on their work"). • Initiating social interactions involves being able to select topics of conversation and use the language of your peer group. Help students develop their verbal pragmatic skills in these areas.

29. B Reciprocal Behaviors • How to help: • Reduce the emphasis on competition in the classroom. Provide opportunities for sharing and cooperative work (e.g., making a mural or bulletin board together). Encourage students to share materials and work cooperatively so that reciprocal interactions can take place. • Provide special class activities at the end of the day as rewards for engaging in "reciprocal behaviors" (e.g., taking turns appropriately throughout the day). • Help students establish short and long-term goals related to increasing the number of positive interactions with peers. For example, a contract may be drawn up in which a student agrees to increase the percentage of times that he shares materials in activities, takes turns in games, etc. • Enhance the likelihood that a student's interactions with a peer or peer group will be positive by setting up structured or guided opportunities in the classroom. For example, organize a small group activity that focuses on the student's area of interest, in which each member participates together in the completion of the activity. • Give students time to reflect on actions taken and alternatives not taken in an interaction, e.g., what could have been said, shared, etc.

30. C Reinforcing Behaviors • How to help: • Emphasize collaboration in the classroom. Provide opportunities for students to learn from each other (e.g. being the 'expert' in an area of affinity). • Have students note each other's strengths before, during, and after collaborative or competitive activities. • Stress effort over ability in the classroom, the development of skill over a static evaluation. • Help students learn to make positive statements by providing suggestions for reinforcing comments about others' contributions during activities. Allow students to develop their own supportive comments. • Guide students so that they are able to let another student win or show improvement, or be more competitive during competitive activities. • Provide special class activities at the end of the day as rewards for exhibiting "reinforcing behaviours" (e.g., 10 minutes of free reading time for making positive comments about each other's work throughout the day).

31. D Perspective Taking • How to help: • Help students be aware of others' feelings and interests by viewing films, and sharing pictures, books, music, poems, and other expressive forms. • Introduce role-play activities in which students act out a scene from different perspectives. • Facilitate the development of perspective taking by engaging in open and active dialogue in your classroom. Encourage students to look at the world from the vantage points of others. Bring in real life examples, such as current events, school issues, etc. • Make perspective taking a problem solving activity in which students must solve a problem by taking the view of another individual, e.g., How would this person see the situation? How would he/she try to solve the problem?

32. E Tangential Initiation • How to help: • Promote interactions by helping students find common interests. Encourage the discovery of shared affinities and experiences from which students can build interactions. • Enhance the likelihood that a student's interactions with a peer or peer group will be positive by setting up structured or guided opportunities in the classroom. • Set up non-academic opportunities for students to interact within a group of peers (e.g., board games). • Help students see the relationship between verbal initiations and effective greeting skills. Model a variety of verbal initiations for students. For example, "I was wondering if you'd like to borrow my ball while I go inside for a minute. Then when I come back, we could play catch if you want." or, "There are not enough computers for all of us so why don't we both work on this one."

33. F Non-Verbal Cueing • How to help: • Use modeling and role-playing to help students learn the messages that are communicated by specific gestures and movements. Have students practice interpreting what others are communicating based on 'reading' their body language. Also, have them practice projecting certain moods, feelings, etc., by using body language. • Help individual students improve their interactions by clearly identifying what they are doing wrong in terms of body language (e.g., standing too close, not looking at the person when in conversation), and what they should do instead (e.g., stand at an arm's length during face-to-face conversations, occasionally look at the conversation partner when speaking). • Reinforce students privately for using appropriate non-verbal signals during conversations, group activities, etc.

34. G Social Control Level • How to help: • Help a student recognize the non-verbal cues from others that indicate that he/she is exercising too little, too much, or the appropriate amount of control in social interactions. • Help students reflect on unsuccessful social interactions, so they can learn from experience. Prompt students to ask themselves guiding questions, such as: • "Should I have said something to my friend when he was picking on that new kid, instead of just watching and saying nothing?" • "Does this person not want to be around me because I sound (or act) too bossy?" • "Did that person say, "NO" when I asked him/her to come over to my house because s/he doesn't know me very well, is upset with me, or because s/he had other things to do?" • Students who have difficulty exhibiting appropriate levels of social control will need to be resilient, especially if others move away from them. A student may find that he/she will need to have and use recuperative strategies to restore a bruised relationship. • Structure classroom activities to enhance the likelihood that students' interactions will be positive, e.g., by encouraging cooperative projects. Help students learn to avoid potentially negative interactions or to remove themselves from a negative interaction when it occurs.

35. Self Control • Setting Boundaries • Identify personal, physical and emotional limits • Identify two situations in which personal boundaries might be tested • Communicate personal boundaries to another person in a verbal and non-verbal way

36. H Conflict Resolution • How to help: • Teach students to recognize the internal and external signs that often precede conflicts. For example, feelings of anger that develop before he/she loses his temper, certain events that often end in conflict, non-verbal cues that others give off that indicate their anger or aggression, etc. • Help a student identify typical events that frustrate or anger her. Teach the student alternative ways to deal with these frustrating events, e.g., walking away, asking for help, etc. Give her the chance to practice these alternatives through role-play. • Examine how other students are behaving towards a student who has problems with conflict resolution. Be sure others are not being confrontational, and triggering the student's negative interactions. • Set up your classroom environment in ways that minimize the opportunity for students to be physically or verbally aggressive with others (e.g., carefully monitoring seating arrangements, maintaining your mobility in the room, etc.). • Provide students with 'best bet' steps to resolve a conflict once it has begun. Steps may include: • Inhibit your first response • Search for alternative backup strategies • Select and deploy a best bet non-verbal response • Select and deploy a best bet verbal response • Monitor the effectiveness of best-bet strategies • Recruit others into the process of resolution as a positive act • Give students example phrases to use to resolve problems (e.g., "Let's work it out", "I can compromise on this."). • Clearly define what students are doing wrong (e.g., swearing) and what they should do instead (e.g., communicate their feelings clearly, for example, by saying, "This is frustrating to me."). • Promote post-conflict reflection among students by helping them analyze (or take apart) a conflict. Help students realize that the search for "Who did what to whom" is often futile, and that accusations and scapegoating are not effective. Encourage students to do an objective analysis by creating a description of alternatives they might have chosen (speaking or behaving in different ways, making different decisions at critical junctures, etc.).

37. Self Control • Setting Boundaries • Identify personal, physical and emotional limits • Identify two situations in which personal boundaries might be tested • Communicate personal boundaries to another person in a verbal and non-verbal way

38. Interpersonal Relations • Conflict Management • Adopt a working definition of conflict management to personal life • De-escalate a conflict situation using three techniques • Address a conflict using conflict management steps

39. I Timing and Staging • How to help: • Enhance students' awareness of verbal and non-verbal indications that interactions and relationships with peers are proceeding too quickly, or too slowly.  • Hand out an advance organizer to help students focus on ways in which the specific skill to be worked on (e.g., pacing relationships) fits into the context of their daily social setting, friendships, etc. • Use models (from stories, film, etc.) to portray the timely development of relationships, i.e., where peers do not expect too much from each other too quickly. • Students may benefit from developing their ability to exhibit the appropriate level of social control when interacting with their peers, i.e. relating to others in neither too passive nor too controlling a manner.

40. J Social Self-Monitoring • How to help: • Teach students explicit self-monitoring techniques through direct instruction. For example: • Enhance students' recognition of behavior patterns. Use films, pictures, case studies, short stories, etc. that present a wide range of non-verbal and verbal indicators of emotions and thoughts. • Improve students' ability to store, remember and identify the specific language of positive and negative interactions (saliency determination). Help students learn to associate potential responses to situations, and to have these responses readily available in their long-term memory. • Help students develop automaticity in social self-monitoring. Encourage them to practice both the recognition and retrieval of self-monitoring skills until the skill becomes 'automatic'. • Use role-playing activities to improve students' ability to use self-monitoring skills. For example: • Set the stage for role-playing by beginning with scripted interaction situations, then move on to improvisation. • Analyze the social role-play with students. Give students time to reflect on actions taken and alternatives not taken, e.g. what they did effectively, what they could have said differently, etc. • Reconstruct the activity and help students become aware of more effective monitoring techniques. • Move students beyond role-play situations when possible. For example: • Help a student reflect upon actual social interactions with peers after an exchange has taken place. • Use an advance organizer that helps students see how the skill to be worked on (e.g., social self-monitoring) fits into the context of their real friendships and daily social interactions.

41. K Image Development and Marketing • How to help: • Help students get not only a sense of the image(s) they wish to project to their peers, but a sense of comfort with that image. Encourage students to use their strengths and affinities to help market their image. • Let class members know, through subtle means, that students they have rejected possess strengths and affinities, to increase the possibility that others will seek out these individuals. • Discuss "marketing" features such as dress, interests, and type of personality that students' can use to reflect a given image. Be sure to emphasize that students may have to sacrifice "who they really are" in order to create, market, and sustain an image that is not genuine. • Encourage classroom discussions, one-on-one conferences, and role-play activities that explore the downsides to being popular, rebellious or friendly with students who do not reflect one's self-image. • Encourage an adult or peer to form a relationship with a student who has been rejected by other students. A socially or politically adept student or class leader, for example, may lower the risk of public humiliation experienced by their classmate by providing the student with social guidance, mentoring, and acceptance. Educate students about the need to accept others for their unique qualities.

42. L Recuperative Strategies • How to help: • Structure activities in such a way that a student does not dwell on problems or setbacks. Guide students in developing adaptive coping strategies and recuperative techniques. One such strategy involves inhibiting a first response when faced with a difficult social situation, and instead coming up with alternative ways to deal with the setback. For example, the student who did not make the team may contribute by being the 'team publicist', a student who has hurt another's feelings may work on ways to repair the relationship, etc. • Help students develop resiliency to social failures and rejection or resistance by others. Use role-play activities to give students opportunities to explore the positive outcomes and consequences of using recuperative strategies. • Allow a student to attempt new or challenging strategies privately, before trying them in a group or social situation. • Be considerate of students' feelings at all times. Do not embarrass a student or put him/her on the spot in front of others (e.g., by announcing test scores aloud or by making a shy student read aloud in class). • Let class members know, through subtle means, that students they have rejected possess strengths and affinities, to increase the possibility that others will seek out these individuals. • Try to educate students in all settings about the need to accept others for their unique qualities.