Part 2 - The Crazy Cycle

1. Part 2 - The Crazy Cycle

2. How Should we then Live? 4 Jesus: “Have you not read? He who made them from the beginning made them male & female.” - Matt 19:4

3. The Series – “Going from Crazy Bad to Crazy Good” • Intro • The Crazy Cycle • How do you reach your wife’s heart? • How do you reach your husband’s heart? ABF, S.O.S., small groups Prayer team

4. When All is Said and Done: • The key to motivating another person is meeting their deepest need.

5. The Big Idea 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

6. his loving acts toward her encourage her respectful acts toward him encourage

7. Welcome to the Crazy Cycle… 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; … But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, ... – 1 Corinthians 7:28

10. his unloving acts toward her encourage her disrespectful acts toward him encourage

11. How Should we then Live? 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps. ... 24 He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds you have been healed. - 1 Peter 2:21, 24 1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. – 1 Peter 3:1-2 (ESV)

12. Evidence of Reluctance to get off the Crazy Cycle • Motivation through incrimination. • “I’m not going to love her until she gives me some respect!” or “I won’t respect him until he starts loving me the way I deserve” • It is easy for one to pass judgment in areas where the other is weaker; to dismiss your spouse as childish.

13. How did we get onto the Crazy Cycle? • Some situation occurs where he interprets something as being disrespectful, or she interprets something as unloving. Note that it didn’t have to actually be intended as disrespectful or unloving – and in fact, was unlikely to have been so in a good-willed spouse. • The response is a reaction to that perceived slight, and the cycle continues.

14. How do we get off the Crazy Cycle? • One of the partners has to take a stand. Which one? The mature one. • Owns his/her part of the issue, even if only 10% at fault. • Apologizes and asks for forgiveness, and leaves the room quietly. • After a few minutes, chances are the other will come and apologize too.

15. How Do we Avoid the Crazy Cycle? • The interpretation of hurt is made, and • she says, “That felt unloving. Did I just come across as disrespectful?” or • he says, “That felt disrespectful. Did I just come across as unloving?”