Talking and Listening

1. Talking and Listening The Basic Interpersonal Skills Chapter 4

2. Learning Objectives • Discusses the purposes and functions of the basic interpersonal skills of talking and listening • Identify and discuss the talking, listening, and active listening skills • Discuss the significance of culturally competent communications for effective talking and listening • Communicate interest and empathy through nonverbal communications and body language • Describe and perform the talking skills • Describe and perform the listening skills • Describe and perform the active listening skills

3. Culturally Competent Communication

4. List the Common Ways we Communicate

5. Most common ways we communicate? Visual Images Spoken Word Written Word Body Language

6. All communication methods are important in social work but emphasis usually falls on the spoken word... And research shows that such communication is heavily prone to be: misunderstood, misinterpreted, rejected, disliked, distorted, or not heard!

7. This is especially true when the communication is between… People of different language People of different gender People of different class And especially between… People of different culture

8. Personal Culture Values World-views Beliefs Behaviours Forces Shaping Individual Culture Urbanization Nationalism Colonisation And Communication Patterns and Styles Education Migration Industrialization Minority Experience Social background Cross-cultural Adjustments Ethnic background Profession Religion Gender Language

9. Canada …is a multicultural country

10. Immigrant population by place of birth and period of immigration (2001 Census)

11. Population by Ethnic Origin, 2001

12. The Three C’s: Cross-Cultural Competence “The ability to think, feel, and act in ways thatacknowledge, respect, and build uponethnic, sociocultural, and linguistic diversity.” (Lynch and Hanson, 1998)

13. Do the Multicultural 3-Step Be Skillful Be Aware Be Knowledgeable

14. Multicultural 3-step • Steps you can take to become a competent counselor: • Awareness • Recognize your own and others • Knowledge • Educate yourself and Understand clients’ cultures • Skill • Develop and enhance your intercultural communication abilities

15. Nodding head up and down Canada: Agreement Eastern Europe: Disagreement; side-to-side movement indicates agreement. Forefinger and thumb forming circle Canada: Okay Japan: Money France: Zero Brazil: Vulgarity Cultural Reactions to Nonverbal Messages

16. Eye contact Canada: Interested, involved Asian and others: Disrespectful Sole of shoe visible Canada: Unimportant Arab countries: Insulting because the foot has touched unclean ground. Cultural Reactions to Nonverbal Messages

17. Personal space Canada: 2–3 feet (casual); 4–12 feet (business) Other countries: Much closer Time Canada: Time is money; punctuality is expected. Mexico: Time is not perceived to have value; frequently late for appointments. Cultural Reactions to Nonverbal Messages

18. Cultural Communication: Low-context vs. High-context • Some cultures give words great importanceregardless of who, when, or where • low-context cultures: U.S., England and northern European countries • Context is less important • Most information is explicitly spelled out. • Other cultures interpret feelings and ideas without words • high-context cultures • Information is inferred from the context of the message.

20. Rankism The uses and abuses of power by those of higher rank in relation to those of lower rank US THEM ME YOU

21. Drama Triangle Persecutor Victim Rescuer

22. Drama in the Multicultural Family In Groups read and discuss the scenario presented How could you assess the situation using a culturally competent approach?

23. Drama in the Multicultural Family • The Persecutor P (White American Male Step-parent) • Scowls and says sarcastically to Victim (e.g. a stepchild) • "Boy, you have the brains of a doorknob. How many times do I have to tell you to pick up your toys, so people don't fall over them or step on and wreck them? You're completely hopeless!" • V may whimper and cower, glare, or talk back defiantly. • Either way, Victim feels guilty, ashamed, and anxious - and maybe mad at themselves and/or the person in the Persecutor role. • The Rescuer (White Inuit Canadian bioparent), observes this interaction and feels empathic and protective of the helpless Victim.  • Rescuer may glower at P and say something to V like "Honey, I'll help you pick up your toys now. Let me get you a snack." • The Persecutor- • Role person may feel mildly or majorly resentful that R (their "partner") seems to be siding with V, rather than supporting them

24. The art of communication… is often a difficult one to cultivate

25. Patronizing Interrogating Focusing on your own thoughts and agenda in relation to the client Attending to a single dimension Frequently interrupting Failing to listen or remember Neglecting, mispronouncing, or changing client’s name Neglecting consideration of cultural meanings Failing to demonstrate understanding through active listening Using stereotypical terms Common Communication Errors

26. Offering suggesting or solutions too early in the process Making absolute statements Disclosing personal feelings, opinions or experiences too early Confronting or challenging before securing relationship Pushing for action or progress too early Using cliches and jargon Being critical, judgemental and pejorative of other people or groups Displaying inappropriate or disproportionate emotions Common Communication Errors

27. Nonverbal Communications and Body Language

28. Can you guess the meaning of these gestures? See if you can decipher the meaning of the three gestures presented Good Luck!

29. I'm scared like a bunny I've been hearing things about you I'm angry Japanese Gesture I'm ANGRY!

30. I don't believe you I wish I hadn't seen that I am looking at a very handsome man FrenchGesture I don't believe you

31. Good luck to you You will always be number one for me "Screw You" (obscene) IranGesture Screw You

33. Attending is key… • Process of nonverbally communicating to others that you are: • Open • Nonjudgmental • Accepting of people • Interested in what they say

34. Common Problems With Attending Skills • Persons in the helping profession are eager to help. • The desire to help can trigger premature responses. • With inexperienced workers, and in early interviews, there is a tendency for premature: • Suggestions, assessments and judgements.

35. Silence is… • Silence is often wrongly perceived as a negative. • Allow for periods of silence and pauses without turning the situation into a contest. • Allow for the therapeutic use of silence in your interviews.

36. Class Exercise Divide into groups of two and experiment with alternative seating arrangements. Decide how you would arrange chairs for an interview and what factors are important to consider.

37. Seating • Place chairs so as to create an angle of between 90 and 135 degrees • Allows others to direct their eyes and bodies toward or away from you

38. Where Should I Sit? • Unless it is clinically contraindicated provide the client with different seating options that they can choose from. • Most clients, and workers, find that setting at an angle is preferred. Such an arrangement invites eye contact, but does not force it. • The environment should be free from distractions.

40. How important is listening in your life? • How often do you listen in your role as a student? • When do you use listening in your social life? • When do you use listening in your family life? • In what areas would you like to improve your listening? • Why?

41. shows respect. builds trust. cements relationships. Listening is the highest compliment one can pay to another human being. Listening attentively (actively):

42. Listening The International Listening Association defines listening as “the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal messages.” Listening is active. Hearing Hearing is passive. Hearing occurs with little or no effort and involves sounds (stimuli) reaching our ears. Hearing is one component of listening Listening and hearing: Is there a difference?

43. Opening door to good conversation shows an interest…. But it must be done sincerely, without judgment. “I see” “Right” “Uh huh”… “Okay” “Sure” “Yeah” “Yes” “Wow” “Really?”

44. Listening Skills Hearing Observing Speech, words and language Nonverbal gestures and positions Remembering Encouraging Free expression What was communicated

45. Observing Body Language Eye Contact Facial Expressions

46. Invite further expression by making brief responses in the form of single words, short phrases, or sounds and gestures Encouraging Uh huh Please go on Yes And? Please continue Mmmmm

47. Remembering what the client reveals • Temporary storage of information for later retrieval • Aided by: • Take Notes • Taping Sessions • Remember though: • Memory is not Reproductive • Memory is Reconstructed

48. What Active Listening Does • Encourages the client to express themselves. • Promotes greater client self-understanding. • Promotes accurate assessment. • Conveys your attempt to understand as fully as possible the situation.

49. The Three Steps of Active Listening Reflecting Inviting Listening

50. Your body language, speech and choice of language invite the client to share and enhances trust. Inviting allows the client to express themselves without having to screen content for your consumption. This is particularly important for younger or vulnerable populations. Step 1: Inviting