Revision Strategies

1. Revision Strategies How can we make our writing stronger and more polished?

2. What are we aiming for here? We want language that is: • Clean • Clear • Direct The language used should be appropriate to the narrator—you!

3. Common Mistake #1 Redundant words or phrases • “He” (five times in three sentences) • “With his own two eyes” • “Sneaky and suspicious”

4. Common Mistake #2 Unnecessary words, especially adverbs • “He tiptoed quietly” • “He couldn’t really believe it” • “He thought wonderingly”

5. Common Mistake #3 Passive, ineffective verbs • “He thought maybe he was actually crazy.” • “It looked like a body . . . ” • “Seemed to be acting . . . ” • “Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him.”

6. Revision Strategies • Replace redundant words and phrases • Underline and scrutinize adverbs • Delete unnecessary words, altering sentences as required • Read aloud and listen for awkwardness • Put verbs to work

7. How did I do this? Kelly waited in the smelly station for the local, which as usual took forever to arrive. She stepped into the closest car and sat down. At 3 a.m. the train was empty. Probably she’d get off at 34th Street and look at the Christmas decorations at Macy’s. Her mother would never find her there. Kelly had left a goodbye note in the middle of the dining room table; in it she said she was visiting a friend in Van Cortland Park.