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The Engagement Period

Fr. Jacob Ghaly. The Engagement Period. F.A.W. FOCUS: What to focus on AVOID: What to avoid WATCH: What to watch for Questions Facts . What to Focus on. The character of your fiancé Focus on your fiancé: make him/her your priority over your friends

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The Engagement Period

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  1. Fr. Jacob Ghaly The Engagement Period

  2. F.A.W. • FOCUS: What to focus on • AVOID: What to avoid • WATCH: What to watch for • Questions • Facts

  3. What to Focus on • The character of your fiancé • Focus on your fiancé: make him/her your priority over your friends • Focus on the internal person of your fiancé and not on their outer appearance. • Focus on the in-laws: Keep a good relationship with the in-laws

  4. What to Focus on • Commitment • Life with no separation • Love and compassion • Giving and forgiving • Providing to the other’s needs • Change for the better • In a righteous life

  5. What to Focus • Is your fiancé your best friend? • Focus on being open with your fiancé • Focus on what your fiancé needs: • Women generally need love • men generally need respect

  6. What to Avoid • Avoid focusing on just feelings and not character. Don’t be overwhelmed by feelings • Jealousy • Conveying negative messages from your own family to your fiancé • Avoid lying • Avoid an extremely short/ extremely long engagement periods

  7. What to Avoid • Avoid relations based on financial gain • Avoid marriage in a very young age • Avoid marriage in extremely different social levels • Avoid being “cold” with your fiancé. Share your feelings.

  8. What to Watch for • Make sure Christ is the center of the relationship; personally and for you together (Establish from the time of engagement spiritual intimacy. ex: prayer, reading the bible together, etc.) • Learn the weak points of your spouse and decide if you can live with them after marriage or not.

  9. What to Watch for • Medical Check-up: It is mandatory in some dioceses now. In case of present illness prior to marriage, the spouse must sign saying they are aware. • Where is the relationship heading? Are you getting closer, or moving further apart • Watch the way your fiancé's family interacts with each other

  10. What to Watch for • Watch for issues which MAY cause problems during the time of engagement such as: • Invitation cards/ list • Finance • Place of reception • Reception program/ food/ drinks • Selection of the wedding party (bridesmaids/ grooms men) • Favors • Clothes • Where the honeymoon will be

  11. Questions • Shall I talk about my past with my fiancé? • What is the meaning of marriage? • Why do I want to get married? • Do you expect problems in your marital life? • Do you think your fiancé will fulfill the spiritual, financial, and cultural growth in your future marriage? • Are your parents happy with the relationship?

  12. Questions • What is the age difference between you and your fiancé? • Do your trust your fiancé 100%? • Do you feel you can carry responsibility of being a parent?

  13. Facts • There is NO marriage without conflicts • There is no perfect fiancé • Declaration of an engagement in the church is very important • No marriage is better than a broken marriage • Do not expect to change your spouse after marriage: What you see is what you will get • You and your fiancé should attend premarital counseling sessions before marriage

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