Bully-Proofing Your School

1. Bully-Proofing Your School Introduction & Session 1: Bullies and Bullying

2. Shifting Gears Bully-Proofing Your School As you enter, complete the Following… Think of words which describe bullying. Jot down words on sticky notes or create a Thinking Map. Read the poems. • Learning Goal • Learners will understand and be able to effectively implement a bully-proofing program. • : Benchmarks: State Statutes, FLDOE, Statistics, Overview of the Program, Bullying Behaviors, Normal Peer Conflict, Characteristics of Bullies, Myth or Fact, Key Terms September 2013 Learners will observe students on campus and in the classrooms to determine conflicts as normal peer interaction or bullying. Objectives Reflect on your new learning and how you will implement it. Sum-It-Up Essential Question: Who are the bullies ? Why do they bully? What are bullying behaviors; mild, moderate, and severe? NEXT STEPS: Session 2: Victims; Session 3: Staff Interaction; Session 4: Scenarios; Session 5: Program Strategies, Consequences, and Reinforcements; Session 6: Planning Your Own School-Wide program Common Language: • Bullying, Passive Victim, Provocative Victim, Bully-Victim, Bystanders, Caring Majority, Caring Community

3. Florida Statute 1006.147; The Jeffery Johnson Stand Up for All Students Act • Requires school districts to adopt an official policy prohibiting bullying and harassment of students and staff on school grounds, at school sponsored events, and through school computer networks. • Florida’s Anti-Bullying Law – s.1006.147.F.S. • www.fldoe.org/safeschools/bullying.asp • StopBullying.gov • Lake County School’s District Initiative = Bully Proofing Your School

4. Scope of the Problem • Average elementary school classroom, two to three students spend their day afraid  • Children report that no one helps them • 58% of kids admit to never telling an adult • 2.7 Million students are bullied each year • 2.1 Million students are the bullies • Every 7 minutes on campus bullying happens , 6.5 hours = 55.7 bullying incidents on one school campus daily; 278.5 x a week; 1,114.2 x a month; 10,026 x a school year • 160,000 Children in Fear miss school Each Day • 1:10 students drop out or change schools because of repeated bullying

5. Scope of the Problem • Every Day approximately 100,000 children carry guns to school, 1:20 students has seen a student with a gun • Bullying is one of the strongest motivation for school shootings • Each Day as many as 6,250 teachers are threatened, about 260 are actually attacked (every day) • 56% of all students have witnessed a bullying crime take place while at school • 71% of students report bullying as an on-going problem

6. Scope of the Problem • Cyber bullying; 42% of kids have been bullied online; 35% have been threatened; 58% something mean has been said about them or to them online • Some of the top years for bullying include 4th – 8th graders; 90% were reported as victims of some kind of bullying • Violence and abuse at home can lead to violence at school; victims at home can be bullies at school • Homicide perpetrators were found to be twice as likely to have been bullied previously by their peers • About 282,000 students a month are reportedly attacked in high schools

7. Scope of the Problem • Bullycide is a term used to describe suicide as the result of bullying. • Suicide continues to be one of the leading causes of death among children under the age of 14 • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among young people; 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC • 1 suicide = 100 suicide attempts; 440,000 attempts • Bully victims are 2-9x more likely to consider suicide • Britain study, at least ½ of suicides among young people are related to bullying • 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide

8. The Bully-Proofing Your School Program • Designed to make the school environment safe for children both physically and psychologically

9. Bully-Proofing Your School Principles • It is the responsibility of adults to ensure that school is a safe environment in which children can learn. • Bullies, when confronted with a caring community (a unified group of adults and peers within a school), are defused. • Bullying is not synonymous with conflict. • The Bully-Proofing program will be most successful if implemented comprehensively. • Punitive programs are only successful with bullying behaviors to a point. • There are many means to an end.

10. Mission Statement • Our goal is to make the school environment safe for children both physically and psychologically. • 1) Stop the behavior – There will be “no-bullying rules” enforced by staff members. • 2) What the students will do – The students will help others by speaking out and getting adult help. • 3) How students should treat one another – The students will use extra effort to include everyone.

11. 3 Overall Goals in Implementing a Bully-Proofing Program • These involve systematic changes as well as individual skill development: • 1) Shifting the power balance within the entire school system, “Paradigm Shift” • 2) Participating in the development of the program by community of parents, the administration, and the staff • 3) Training in the skills and knowledge base necessary to implement the program • Understanding the theme of shifting the balance of power to the caring majority of students is critical to the success of the program.

12. Paradigm Shift – Where is the Power? • Key Elements: • The staff members and students must be supported in assuming increased responsibility and allowing the principle to abandon the role of “all-powerful.” • The “caring majority” of students can be and will be the backbone of the caring school environment in this program. • There will be an opportunity to customize this program to the specific needs of the student body.

13. Paradigm Shift – Where is the Power? Parents Staff Members Students Administration

14. Five Steps to Building a Caring and Safe Climate • Step 1: Asses the current climate of your school • How do students treat each other? • How does the staff treat students? • How does the staff treat each other? • How does the administration treat the staff? • Step 2: Decide what kind of climate you want for your school • General Policy • Caring Majority of Students Set the Climate by: • Balancing Climate and Control by: • Bus Drivers Reinforce a Caring Climate by: • Community Nurtures Students by:

15. Five Steps to Building a Caring and Safe Climate • Step 3: Identify current strengths and weaknesses in the climate • Identify goals in each area • Discuss areas of strength • Step 4: Create a plan to improve areas of weakness • P.E., Music, Media, and Other Activities • Academics • Discipline • Counseling and Guidance • To and From School • Parents as Partners • School Rituals • Recognition • Tone Set by the Physical Plant (school campus, displays) • Community Partners

16. Five Steps to Building a Caring and Safe Climate • Step 5: Decide when to begin the bully-proofing program which will shift the silent majority to a caring majority • Establish bully-proofing rules throughout the school • Begin the classroom curriculum • Develop the protective skills and caring skills • Establish a plan to develop the caring majority in each classroom and school-wide • Give recognition for positive caring activities • Students solve the majority of their own problems • Speaking up, displaying courage, and helping another are values in the school • Children are aware that a caring majority is in place. They feel safe and know where support will come from if they are harassed or bullied.

17. Defining Bullying • True bullying is repeated exposure over time to negative actions. • Bullying means there is an imbalance of power so that the child being victimized has trouble defending himself or herself. • Bullying is aggression. • Forms: physical, verbal, or psychological • Bullying is when one person uses power in a willful manner with the aim of hurting another individual repeatedly.

18. Who are the Victims? • Passive Victim is likely to be a child who: • Is isolated or alone during much of the school day. • Is Anxious, insecure, and lacking in social skills. • Is physically weak and therefore unable to defend himself or herself. • Cries easily, yields when bullied, and is unable to stick up for himself or herself • May have suffered past abuse or traumatization. • May have a learning disorder that compromises his or her ability to process and respond to social interactional cues.

19. Who are the Victims? • Provocative Victim is likely to be a child who: • Is often restless, irrates and teases others and doesn’t know when to stop. • Fights back in bullying situations but ends up losing. • Is easily emotionally aroused. • Tends to maintain the conflict and lose with frustration and distress. • May be diagnosed with ADHD. • Tends to make you feel like they deserve it.

20. Bully-Victim • Share characteristics of both bullies and victims; they are a victim of bullying (usually sever) and they do bully others • Easily emotionally aroused and emotionally reactive • Do not necessarily show aggression • May be hyperactive • Research shows that this group of children are: • More disturbed, depressed and anxious, and have poorer academic achievement than other children, more disliked, peers have the least empathy for them, have a higher risk of serious aggression over time • FBI has profiled school shooters in this category (FBI 2001) • These students need individualized interventions • Adults need to be more vigilant with these students.

21. Bystanders • The majority of students at school; approximately 85% • Stand silently on the sidelines, the “Silent Majority” • Powerful resource to change dynamics at school • Program is designed to empower the “Silent Majority” into the “Caring Majority” and eventually create a “Caring Community” • Bystanders do not get involved in bullying events • Harmful in the long run: bystanders become desensitized to bullying and its violence and cruelty and are likely to have a diminished capacity for empathy for the suffering victims and people in general.

22. Normal Peer Conflict – What Bullying Is Not • Equal power or friends • Happens occasionally • Accidental • Not Serious • Equal emotional reaction • Not seeking power or attention • Not trying to get something • Remorse – will take responsibility • Effort to solve the problem

23. Not Normal Peer Conflict - What Bullying is… • Imbalance of power; not friends • Repeated negative actions • Purposeful • Serious with threat of physical or emotional harm • Strong emotional reaction from victim and little or no reaction from bully • Seeking power, control, or material things • Attempt to gain material things or power • No remorse – blames victim • No effort to solve problem

24. Visualization Exercise • Sit comfortably with eyes open or closed • Remember a time you were bullied, bullied someone, or saw someone bullied • Where were you? • What role were you playing? • Bully? Victim? Observer? • How were you feeling? • What did you do? • What do you wish you had done, or wish someone else had done? • Volunteers to share your experience • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD

25. Definition/Nature of Bullying • The Definition of Bullying • Targeting a child for repetitive negative actions. • Imbalance of power so the victim can’t defend himself/herself. • Unequal levels of affect (feeling or emotion) • The Serious Nature of Bullying • Children being bullied need and deserve adult intervention and help. • The problem is too serious for them to solve alone. • Without intervention, the problem will not go away. • Bullies will keep bullying unless adults do something about it.

26. Consequences for Victims • Drop in self-esteem to a self-defeating, fearful attitude • Anxiety, fear, sadness, and possible depression • Disrupted academic performance, lack of interest in school, and excessive absences • Physical symptoms (e.g., stomachaches, headaches, fatigue) • Panic and irrational retaliation • Potential to harm oneself; cutting, suicide

27. Myth or Fact? • Bullies are boys. • Myth; Both boys and girls bully, but their tactics are usually different. Boys usually bully with physical aggression, girls with social alienation or humiliation. • Bullies are insecure and have low self-esteem. • Myth; Bullies are not anxious, insecure children, but have positive (often unrealistic) self images that reflect a strong need to dominate with power and threat.

28. Myth or Fact? • Bullies don’t have friends. • Myth; Bullies are not loner, but almost always have a small network of peers who encourage, admire, and model their bullying behavior. • Bullies are usually failing in school. • Myth; Bullies tend to be at least average or only slightly below average academically.

29. Myth or Fact? • Bullies are physically larger than their victims. • Myth; Bullies come in all sizes, and bullies can even intimidate victims who are physically larger if there’s an imbalance of power. • Bullies don’t really mean to hurt their victims. • Myth; Bullies lack compassion for their victims and feel justified in their actions.

30. Myth or Fact? • Bullies usually feel badly about their actions, but they just can’t help themselves. • Myth; Bullies value the rewards they achieve from aggression, such as attention, control over someone, or material possessions. • Looking different is the main reason children get bullied. • Myth; Looking different is one reason children are victimized, but not the main reason. Isolation and personality type are more often determining factors.

31. Myth or Fact? • If the victim fights back, the bully will back down. • Myth; Returned aggression is not usually effective, and in fact excites the bully into further attacks. Assertion, rather than aggression, is effective, however. • Telling on a bully will only make the situation worse for the victim. • Myth; If all the adults within a school are committed to preventing bullying behavior, requesting adult intervention will help in equalizing the power imbalance between the bully and victim.

32. Myth or Fact? • Unless you change the bully’s home life, nothing will help. • Myth; Bullies can separate home from school, and be taught responsible school behavior even when aggression is modeled and/or reinforced at home. • Bullies need therapy to stop bullying. • Myth; Bullying behavior does not usually change with traditional therapy, but requires specific interventions techniques that increase skill deficits and correct thinking errors. There are some simple, proven intervention tactics, which will be taught in conjunction with this program, that prevent bullying behavior.

33. Myth or Fact? • Other children should stay away from the bully-victim situations or they’ll get bullied as well. • Myth; When bullies are confronted with a united front of their peers who support the victim and believe that bullying behavior is not socially acceptable, their power is defused. • All teachers can learn to handle a bully. • Myth; Some teachers are threatened by conflict-ridden situations and aggressive children. In this program, teachers identify their predominate conflict resolution styles, and identify other staff members with complementary styles who they can turn to for support with difficult situations.

34. Myth or Fact? • Bringing the parents of the victim and of the bully together for discussion is a good idea. • Myth; It is not a good strategy to bring the parent(s) of a bully and the parent(s) of a victim together, and should be avoided at all cost. It is essential to meet with each set of parents individually to provide them the specific assistance they need to help their child. • Once a victim, always a victim. • Myth; The cycle of victimization can be broken by working at the school and classroom levels, and by working with an individual child who is victimized.

35. Myth or Fact? • Victims have usually brought the trouble upon themselves. • The responsibility for the aggression is the bullies’. However, victims of bullying are not randomly targeted but are victimized because of characteristics and behaviors that make them easier targets for a bully. These include being physically weak, crying easily, being anxious and insecure, and lacking age appropriate social skills.

36. Myth or Fact? • Learning disabled students are at higher risk of being victimized. • Fact; Students with special education needs may be at greater risk of being bullied by others due to factors such as their disability or the fact that they may be less well integrated socially. If they have behavior problems and act out aggressively, they can become provocative victims. If they have trouble processing social cues, they may act shy and inhibited and become passive victims. Having a disability is not the main reason children get bullied, however.

37. Types of Bullying and Differences Between Male and Female Bullies • Bullying can range from mild name calling or shoving to very severe acts of violence and coercion. • Boys frequently use swift and effective physical aggression such as tripping or elbowing another child in the stomach. • Girls tend to use the tactics of social alienation and intimidation, such as gossiping maliciously, writing spiteful notes, or alienating a peer from play. • Girls can use very destructive, insidious techniques that are hard to detect. • Extortion is a common form of bullying used by both boys and girls.

38. Bullying Behaviors ChartPhysical Aggression: • Mild • Pushing, Shoving, Spitting, Kicking, Hitting • Moderate • Defacing property, Stealing, Physical acts that are demeaning and humiliating, but not bodily harmful, Locking in a closed or confined space • Severe • Physical violence against family or friends, Threatening with a weapon, Inflicting bodily harm

39. Bullying Behaviors ChartSocial Alienation: • Mild • Gossiping, Embarrassing, Setting up to look foolish, Spreading rumors about • Moderate • Ethnic slurs, Setting up to take the blame, Publicly humiliating, Excluding from group, Social rejection • Severe • Maliciously excluding, Manipulating social order to achieve rejection, Malicious rumor-mongering, Threatening with total isolation by peer group

40. Bullying Behaviors ChartVerbal Aggression: • Mild • Mocking, Name calling, Dirty looks, Taunting, Teasing about clothes or possessions • Moderate • Teasing about appearance, Intimidating telephone calls • Severe • Verbal threats of aggression against property or possessions, Verbal threats of violence or inflicting bodily harm

41. Bullying Behaviors ChartIntimidation: • Mild • Threatening to reveal personal information, Graffiti, Publicly challenging to do something, Defacing property or clothing, Playing a dirty trick • Moderate • Taking possessions, Extortion, Sexual/racial taunting • Severe • Threats of using coercion against family or friends, Coercion, Threatening with a weapon

42. Next Session: Victims • In the next session, staff members will learn about the dynamics of the bully-victim relationship, and why some children are victimized and why others are not.