Adolescent Relationships: What’s Healthy, What’s Risky?

1. Adolescent Relationships:What’s Healthy, What’s Risky? Jennifer Manlove, PhD Suzanne Ryan, PhD

2. Presentation Topics Adolescent Perceptions of Healthy Romantic Relationships Risky Adolescent Sexual Relationships and Reproductive Health in Young Adulthood

3. Gaps in Research • Most research on healthy romantic relationships focuses on adult populations • Teen relationships differ from adult relationships: • Shorter-term, more episodic, more awkwardness in communication • The teen years represent a critical phase of development • Need better understanding, from teens themselves, about what constitutes a healthy relationship

4. Qualitative Study of Teen Healthy Romantic Relationships • What are the critical dimensions of healthy adolescent romantic relationships? • Are the critical dimensions of healthy adolescent relationships comparable to those of adults?

5. Qualitative Analyses of Adolescent Romantic Relationships Qualitative study of healthy romantic relationships • Exploratory focus groups • Cognitive interviews

6. Qualitative Study of Teen Healthy Romantic Relationships • Key contributions: • Develop survey items that better capture intimate adolescent relationships • Improve data infrastructure to inform policy decisions and programs

7. Number of Groups Completed to Date

8. Demographic Characteristics of Participants • Total Males N=16; Total Females N=36 • Age distribution • N=33 12-14 year olds • N=19 15-17 year olds • Race/ethnicity distribution • Largely African American (79%) • Family structure • 31% lived with 2 bio/adoptive parents • 23% with a single parent • 46% other • 73% have ever been in a relationship more than just friends

9. Focus Group Protocols • Icebreaker: Name a famous couple • Defining romantic relationships: • Types and levels of romantic relationships • Labels used to describe the levels • Definition of healthy adolescent relationships • Qualities of actual teen relationships • Compare and contrast adolescent and adult relationships

10. Major Themes Identified in Focus Groups

11. Definition of Relationship Types • Rich, complex language and taxonomy to describe relationships that vary and reflect: • Intensity • Expectations • Behaviors • Wide spectrum of relationships with distinct stages or levels and clear end points and landmarks

12. Terms and Labels for Different Types of Relationships Reflect Expectations, Behaviors, and Intensity “If somebody’s really serious about you, they may call you “wifey” or “that’s my hubby”. If they’re really really serious. Another level, a lot down is “my boo”. Another level is “my girl, my dude…” - 15-17 year old female

13. Friend-ship Flirtatious Main joint Least romantic Most romantic Friends w/ benefits Crushing Talking Hubby/wifey, boo, dude, boyfriend, J.R., man, official, stamped All under the process of talking / getting to know the person Examples of Relationship Spectrum: Girls Booked 15-17 Year Old Girls

14. Lover Wifey Sweetie Boo, Babe Baby Friends w/ benefits Virtual date Life partner Soulmate Girlfriend Least serious/ romantic Most serious/ romantic Hush-bunny Roller Golddigger Ho Date Honey Bun High schoolsweetheart Love 15-17 Year Old Boys Examples of Relationship Spectrum: Boys

15. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Respect, trust, honesty, and loyalty identified by all girl groups • Respect and trust also mentioned by boys • Communication, caring, attentiveness, and reliability were often cited • How the relationship is perceived by peers • Love was seldom mentioned among girls • Boys listed sex as a dimension of healthy relationships

16. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Factors that are unhealthy • Large age difference • Violence • Cheating

17. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Girls’ discussions about respect in teen relationships: • “I said respect, because you gotta have respect before anything…because you can’t just walk up to a girl and be like, “Hey yo, come here. – 12-14 year old girl • “… respect you for who you are is like, just because I have a butt doesn’t mean you have to touch it and stuff. Just because I have a chest doesn’t mean you go tell your friends oh this and that and the other. But you can respect me.” - 12-14 year old girl • “Why do adults not have respect? I mean you all doing this research?” – 15-17 year old girl

18. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Boys’ discussions about Respect: • Respect: • “Respect…is like the most important key of the whole relationship” • “Y’all gotta have respect for each other in order for the relationship to work” • Self-Respect: • “Self-respect. Like, you don’t respect yourself, and you won’t learn to respect others” • “[Some girls] get treated bad and get called names and stuff, and they still go back to the same guy. Is that respect? ...You’ve gotta respect your own self in order to be with somebody that you actually love” -15-17 Year Old Boys

19. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Boys’ responses when asked about love in teen relationships: • “If you don’t love the person you’re with, then why are you with them? Love puts you together…” • “You say you love them, but you don’t really mean it” • “They think that love is like being with a girl, having sex with a girl, and then leaving her…They think that that’s love, when it’s not” -15-17 year old boys

20. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Girls’ responses when asked about love in teen relationships: • “Ain’t nobody lookin’ for love, not teenagers.” • “…I think we need to be more focused on what we need to be doing to get by in the future. I think for teenagers, you can have a committed relationship, you can love your boyfriend but…I don’t think you would be on adult terms. It would be simple.” • “It’s more like puppy love…” • “We still don’t know what love is…” • “There’s not much love in our lives.” -15-17 year old girls

21. What are Dimensions of Healthy Relationships? • Boys’ responses when asked about the importance of sex in teen relationships: • “[Sex is important] because if you don’t have a good, sexual relationship with that person, then you won’t feel…some sort of connection” • “[Sex] plays a highly important role in, I mean, when it comes to having relationships…“ -15-17 year old boys

22. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Cheating / unfaithfulness • Distrust • Physical / verbal violence • Pessimism about adult relationships • Lack of respect • Poor communication • Most common type of relationship is between casual and very serious

23. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? Response when asked about how typical these qualities are in teen relationships: • “I doubt you can find all of them in one person” • “Good personality, maybe, but you’re gonna get liars; they’re not honest” • “Like for example, okay, one boy can be, you know, honest, respectful, and you have a connection. But, then, he’ll be violent or something” • “…or he’ll be like, too jealous or something” -15-17 year old girls • “[Respect] is not really common…a lot of guys, if they get mad at the girl, they curse her out, and they call her a ho, a trick, whatever” • “The communication between teenagers is not good…” -15-17 year old boys

24. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Response when asked about faithfulness: • “Everybody cheating…” -15-17 year old girl • “Cause you can’t find faithful in none of them; in none of the guys nowadays.” -15-17 year old girl • “Cause you might have a girl, and be goin with another girl…” -15-17 year old boy • “Us boys, um, we lie to them, and we talk to other girls, telling them, ‘oh, you’re gonna be my girl’” -15-17 year old boy

25. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Description of why boys cheat in relationships: • “They’ll be like “I’ve got this reputation, I’m a pimp, I’m a playa, I’m not gonna let no female dispose or just ruin my reputation like that.”” – 15-17 year old girl • “You just wanna look cool in front of your friends…All your friends, all they talk about is …who got that last night” -15-17 year old boy • “It’s like boys, they get pressured. …girls get pressured, too. But boys …be like, “did you hit that?” and he probably be like “no” and then… they be like, “you whipped”. And they don’t want that to happen…he’s probably gonna cheat, just to have somebody to have sex with.” -15-17 year old girl • “They’re tempted to have more than one female and just do whatever. It’s like every female they see is a temptation to them.” -15-17 year old girl

26. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Cheating and sex in relationships: • “…he keeps asking for sex, and like, you don’t want to give it to him, so he goes to another girl who will give it to him.” -15-17 year old girl • “Friends with benefits are there for when you need them…when you’re not getting [sex] from your girl anymore, you go to them” -15-17 year old boy

27. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Response when asked about play-fighting/violence: • “It all depends. Based on the level of maturity that the people in the relationship are in. They think it’s cool, or sexy. You know that commercial where they’re promoting Ax body spray….The man and the woman who are wrestling, but they’re just playin. It’s just like that. I know a lot of teens like to do playful fights like that. As far as hitting going out of proportion, that’s not good.” -15-17 year old girl • “It’s alright to fight, but like, when you hit a girl, that means you’re not a man.” -15-17 year old boy • “Cause sometimes, you like, just be playing….but then when you start goin for real and hittin each other on the face or the neck…then you want to fight. You should just be like, ‘chill out!’” -15-17 year old boy

28. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Description of why teens don’t exhibit qualities of healthy relationships: • “I don’t think none of those qualities are all there because they’re not taught to have those qualities. They don’t know how to be gentle.” • “Most females, if they don’t have a father figure in their life, they don’t have these qualities, or if they do have a father figure, they have little evidence.” • “Females may feel a sense of duty to follow the man and just play the same game that he’s playing. I’m gonna do me…” • “Or they could just be loose. Because they don’t have a father figure and they just want attention from a male.” -15-17 year old girls

29. What is Typical in Teen Romantic Relationships? • Description of why teens don’t exhibit qualities of healthy relationships: • “[Respect]…it’s not really that normal” • “’Cause…we gotta have respect for her, and this and that; we don’t think like that!” • “People don’t really care about love like that. [You] just wanna look cool in front of your friends.” -15-17 year old boys

30. How do Teen Relationships Correspond to Adult Relationships? • Teens’ constructs closely mirror adults • Boys thought all factors that were important for adult relationships were also important for teen relationships • Girls identified factors not important for teens, but important for adult relationships: • Commitment • Conflict resolution • Time together • Satisfaction

31. How do Teen Relationships Correspond to Adult Relationships? • Responses when asked about why commitment is important for adults but not teens: • “You don’t need to make a commitment, cause we’re too young” – 12-14 year old girl • “A commitment’s like you’re getting married” – 12-14 year old girl

32. How do Teen Relationships Correspond to Adult Relationships? • Responses when asked about why satisfaction is important for adults but not teens: • “That’s an old-people term. You should be satisfied in any relationship.” – 15-17 year old girl • “I think it’s important, but it’s just like, the word, satisfaction that turns me off. I think if you’re not happy in the relationship, don’t be in the relationship.” – 15-17 year old girl

33. Similarities/Differences Across Age • Similarities across Age • Ideas and expectations start forming among young girls and boys • May represent a key learning moment or critical stage • Ideas and expectations are fairly similar across age • All groups recognized the difference between ideal and typical relationships • Difference across Age: • Younger adolescents had less experience with relationships • Older teens were more likely to bring up sex

34. Similarities/ Differences Across Gender • Similarities across Gender • Similar dimensions and labels for relationships • All groups identified a wide spectrum of relationships • Differences across Gender: • Differing frameworks of respect • Girls desire respect from their male partner • Boys speak more of self-respect • Internet dating - mentioned only by boys • Boys included more language for purely sexual relationships

35. Next Steps • Develop healthy relationship items to be administered in surveys • Cognitive interviews • Refine items based on cognitive interviews