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Resolving Conflicts … How to friends. WIN . By Cara Baldree. You Will Learn…. What a conflict is Why it happens If anger is bad How to resolve conflict Communication Skills How to have healthy relationships with others. Why Is This Important?. So you can be HAPPY!
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Resolving Conflicts…How to friends WIN By Cara Baldree
You Will Learn… • What a conflict is • Why it happens • If anger is bad • How to resolve conflict • Communication Skills • How to have healthy relationships with others
Why Is This Important? • So you can be HAPPY! • So you can have a lot of friends. • So you can learn to compromise. • So you can have healthy, lasting relationships. • So you don’t get into trouble.
What Is A Conflict? • a fight, battle, or struggle • a collision between ideas • a disagreement between people • a quarrel
Why Does Conflict Happen? • There are MANY reasons!!! Some examples are: 1. Someone takes something from you that is yours. 2. Someone teases you. 3. A misunderstanding happens. 4. Plans change. 5. Someone was dishonest. 6. Feelings were hurt. 7. Talk to your table about a conflict you remember. http://www.libraryvideo.com/servlet/viajero/product/F6001
Is Anger Bad? • No, no, no….unless it is inappropriately acted out (i.e. angry words or touch, etc.) • It is NORMAL to feel angry. • What makes YOU angry? • I feel angry when…
How Do You ResolveConflict? Resolve means to fix or find a solution for something. • COMMUNICATE!! • Negotiate (bargaining with someone) • Compromise • Walk Away/ Find help
Communicate • Be assertive (speak up respectfully about your feelings!) DON’T be aggressive! • No name calling. • Take turns talking. Don’t interrupt. • Use “I” messages. What’s this?? • Examples: *You never let me play basketball at recess! • I feel hurt when you don’t let me play basketball at recess. *Stop teasing me about my weight, or I’ll bust your face! • I feel embarrassed when you tease me about my body.
Role Play “I” Messages!! • The teacher needs to assign each table one conflict to act out in front of the class. (e.g. Someone butts you in the line, or someone left you out from playing.) • Pick someone from each group to play the bully/bullies. • Take turns practicing saying the “I” message. • PRACTICE and look the bully in the eye. Use a calm voice, but be firm.
Negotiate • This is like making a bargain. • For this to happen, you must come up with a plan. • Example: You borrow a book from the library and put it on your desk. The person next to you grabs it and begins to read it. You try to be assertive and say, “I would like to have my book back. Please get your own book to read,” but the person refuses. • You need a plan!!!Talk about a negotiation with your table.
The Plan • Examples you might say to him/ her: • I’ll let you read it when I have finished. • Read it first and then give it back. * The other person might agree with your plan, ending the negotiation. If they disagree, keep negotiating. Sometimes, the other person comes up with a plan. You can agree or disagree with this. You may be able to go to the next step: compromise.
Compromise • This is like giving something up in order to both get at least part of what you wish to have. • A good compromise will leave both students feeling that the solution was fair, even if they didn’t completely get what they wanted. • Compromise is a part of growing up.
PROBLEM!!! • What do you do if a compromise isn’t made?? • Sometimes people won’t compromise. • What now???
Walk Away/ Find Help • Walk away and find something new. • Ignore bad behavior from others. • Find help if there is a big problem, but it is best to learn to use your words to solve conflicts. • ALWAYS SHOW SELF-CONTROL.