Domestic Abuse

1. Domestic Abuse • With Thanks to: • Norfolk County Council & Norfolk Constabulary

2. The Harsh Reality • 1 in 4 how many women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime? • 1 in 6 how many men experience domestic abuse in their lifetime? • How often do police receive a call from a victim of domestic abuse? 1 per minute • What 56 % of rapes are carried out by partners or ex partners? • What 90 % of children are present in the same room or the next room when domestic abuse occurs? • Is there a correlation between domestic abuse and child abuse? YES

3. The Harsh Reality • If children come from a home where domestic abuse is present how many time’s more likely will they have anti social behaviour issues? 2.5 • How many women a week are killed by a violent partner or ex partner? 2 per week • How many men a week are killed by a violent partner or ex partner? 1 every other week • How many refuges are there in the UK? Over 500 • What 33 % of domestic violence starts during and after pregnancy? • Is domestic abuse more common in houses with low income? No connection • Can you tell if someone is a domestic abuse perpetrator? Not at all

4. What is Domestic Abuse? • A pattern of behaviour that is characterised by the exercise of control and the misuse of power by one person over another within the context of an intimate or family relationship. • Most commonly domestic abuse is a combination of different types of abusive behaviours, including, but not restricted to: • physical, • sexual, • emotional and financial abuse • and the imposition of social isolation.

5. What is Domestic Abuse? • Domestic abuse is primarily a gender-based crime, consisting of violence / abuse by men against women in the overwhelming majority of cases. However it does include same sex relationships and abuse to men. • Domestic abuse severely impacts upon children and young people as witnesses to the abuse, denying them a safe and secure home life. • People from every class, age, race and religion are abused, as are people with disabilities.

6. Duluth Power and Control Wheel

7. DYNAMICS OFDOMESTIC VIOLENCE • Intimidation • Emotional abuse • Isolation • Minimizing, denying, blaming • Using children • Using privilege • Economic pressure • Coercion and threats

8. DYNAMICS OFDOMESTIC VIOLENCE • Using intimidation: making victim afraid by using looks, actions, gestures, smashing things, destroying victim’s property, abusing pets, displaying weapons. • Using emotional abuse: putting victim down, making victim feel bad about themselves, calling victim names, making victim think they are crazy, playing mind games, humiliating, making victim feel guilty. • Using isolation: controlling what victim does, who victim sees and talks to, what they reads, where they go, limiting victim outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions. • Using coercion and threats: making and/or carrying out threats to hurt victim , threatening to leave victim, to commit suicide, to report victim to welfare, making victim drop charges, making victim do illegal things.

9. DYNAMICS OFDOMESTIC VIOLENCE • Minimizing, denying, and blaming: making light of the abuse and not taking victim’s concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn't happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour, saying victim caused it. • Using children: making victim feel guilty about the children, using the children to relay messages, using visitation to harass victim , threatening to take children away. • Using partner (male) privilege: treating victim like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the "master of the castle", being the one to define men's and women's roles.

10. DYNAMICS OFDOMESTIC VIOLENCE • Using economic abuse: preventing victim from getting or keeping a job, making victim ask for money, giving victim an allowance, taking victim’s money, not letting victim know about or have access to family income. • (Physical violence: hitting, slapping, pushing, burning, assault with everyday implements, kicking, medication – withholding/too much given, deprivation of food, heat, clothing, shelter • Spiritual : telling the victim that God hates then, preventing them attending church, using faith as a weapon to control, religious teaching submit to your husband, compel forgiveness)

11. Domestic abuse is NOT Caused By: • Illness • Genetics or gender • Alcohol or other drugs • Anger • Stress • Victim’s behaviour • Relationship problems • Lack of money

12. Domestic Abuse in the Older Women • DA is viewed as a gender abuse of power, but in older women it is seen as a sub-set of elder abuse • Current focus is carer support • Current focus on young victims/children - women’s refuges not always appropriate for the older women and support groups focus on e.g. child custody / job training • With ageing population – national policy is starting to recognise and respond

13. Domestic Abuse in the Older Women - Impact • Abuse over a period of time – may lead to significant short and long term health • Physical damage and disability • Trauma related injuries e.g. gastro-intestinal, genitor-urinary and musculo-skeleton • Mental health problems – depression, anxiety, emotional issues • Hypertention / chronic joint pain • Health issues may not be reported to their G.P. • Prolonged physical abuse – significant health problems and premature death • Professionals sometime miss the signs as attribute bruises, fractures etc. to falls

14. Domestic Abuse in the Older Women- Barriers to Reporting • Dependency on the perpetrator in later life • Traditional attitudes to marriage • Traditional attitudes to gender roles • More difficult than younger women due to financial dependency in later life • Generational view of privacy of the home and intimate relationships • Difficult to disclose to ‘family’ doctor • As for younger victims e.g. exacerbation of abuse

15. Elder Domestic Abuse Generally a combination of: • Psychological • Social • Economical • Mental and physical conditions of victim and offender contribute to the abuse Paid Carers – 31% - usually physical abuse and neglect Family / Relatives – 47% - usually psychological and financial

16. Health consequences • Domestic violence commonly results in self-harm and attempted suicide • 1/3rd of women attending A&E for self-harm were Domestic Violence survivors, • abused women are 5 times more likely to attempt suicide, • and 1/3rd of female suicide attempts can be attributed to current or past experience of domestic violence (Stark and Flitcraft, 1996; Mullender, 1996) • Between 50% and 60% of women mental health service users have experienced domestic violence, and up to 20% will be experiencing current abuse. (Department of Health, 2003; Bowstead, Janet, 2000; ReSisters, 2002).

17. The effects on children: They may: • become anxious or depressed. • have difficulty sleeping. • have nightmares or flashbacks. • complain of physical symptoms such as tummy aches. • start to wet their bed. • have temper tantrums. • behave as though they are much younger than they are. • have problems at school, or may start truanting. • become aggressive. • internalise their distress and withdraw from other people. • have a lowered sense of self-worth. • older children may start to use alcohol or drugs. • begin to self-harm by taking overdoses or cutting themselves. • develop an eating disorder.

18. Domestic Abuse – Professional Help When a person presents themselves to agencies such as health, housing, social care, criminal justice, education, voluntary sector – it creates an opportunity for practitioners to identify domestic violence and carry out risk assessments – then to make appropriate referrals to appropriate community resources for high risk cases – such as the Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC)

19. What is a MARAC? • A Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference – local agencies meet to discuss high risk victims of domestic violence who live in the local area • Combines up-to-date risk information with a comprehensive assessment of a victim’s needs and links those directly to the provision of appropriate services for all those involved in a case – victim, children and perpetrator • It aims to share information to increase the safety, health and well being of victims(adults)and their children • To construct jointly and implement a risk management plan that provides professional support to all those at high risk • To reduce repeat victimisation • To improve agency accountability • Improve support for staff involved in high-risk cases • Three in Norfolk – West, East and Central

20. The Norfolk picture • 4,439 victims of domestic crimes in a two year period. (April 2007 to March 2009) • 81% female (3,582) and 19% male (857) • 32% were repeat victims (1,267 female and 155 male) In 2008-2009 there were over 10,000 non crime incidents reported to the police. In 2009-2010 there was a 25% increase in reported incidents

21. White Ribbon Symbol • July 1981Appalled by the extent and diversity of violence against women, Latin American women agreed to hold an annual day of protest, and they decided to adopt 25th November as thedate for this International Day Against Violence Against Women in memory of the Mirabel sisters (who were killed due to their involvement in efforts to overthrow the fascist government of Rafael Trujillo in the Dominican Republic) . • 1991The first White Ribbon Campaign was launched by a group of men in Canada after the brutal mass shooting of 14 female students at the University of Montreal. • 1998WOMANKIND launched the first White Ribbon Day in the UK. The UK campaign has continued to grow across the UK. • 1999The UN officially recognised 25th November as International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. The White Ribbon is a symbol of hope for a world where women and girls can live free from the fear of violence. Wearing the ribbon is about challenging the acceptability of violence – by getting men involved, helping women to break the silence, and encouraging everyone to come together to build a better world for all.

22. White Ribbon Campaign – Local Initiative • Norfolk and Suffolk in 2011 – Breaking the Silence around the White Ribbon Day, with Bell ringing in Parish Churches across the counties • New Domestic Abuse website, supported by Bishop Graham (with personal message) www.Breakingthesilence.co • Your support will be very appreciated to help all victims!

23. Message from The Bishop of Norwich • Domestic abuse lies hidden in many families. Many of us will know victims of domestic abuse without realising it. Victims keep it hidden, not just abusers. Yet there are signs which can alert us. • Breaking the silence is a beginning, but how can any of us help? The resources offered on this website provide an introduction. Church communities should be especially vigilant in this area and also potentially of great help given the network of friendships they nurture. • I am very grateful to those among our clergy and in the Mothers’ Union who have taken this ministry seriously and helped to develop what we can offer. Domestic violence and abuse is a scourge in many people’s lives, and one which prevents its victims believing themselves to be lovable. We want them to know they are loved by those who seek to help them and by God. The Rt Revd Graham James, Lord Bishop of Norwich

24. Pastoral Care – What to be aware of If you are concerned that someone you know might be a victim, you may notice that she/he exhibits one of more of the following behaviours: • has unexplained bruises or injuries; • shows signs of feeling suicidal; • becomes unusually quiet or withdrawn; • has panic attacks; • has frequent absences from work or other commitments; • wears clothes that conceal even on warm days; • stops talking about her/his partner; • is anxious about being out or rushes away.

25. Pastoral Care – What to doRef. The Archbishops Council 2006 – Guidelines for those with Pastoral Responsibilities • Most survivors want to be asked. If you are able to broach the subject, your offer of help could be the first step in enabling them to seek help; e.g. ‘How are things at home?’ and if it becomes appropriate, ‘Is anyone hurting you?’ • Do try wherever possible to talk in a safe, private place where you will not • be interrupted, or arrange to talk again (but someone in distress may start • talking anywhere). • Do try to make it clear that complete confidentiality cannot be guaranteed, • depending on the nature of what is disclosed. • Do dial 999 if you are witnessing a violent incident or if the person needs • medical care. • Do take plenty of time to listen and believe what they say. If they sense disbelief they may be discouraged from speaking again.

26. Pastoral Care – What to do • Do be sensitive to people’s backgrounds and cultures and check your own and their understanding of how the cultural issues affect them. Ask them about the attitude of their families and what support they can expect. • Do affirm the strength and courage it takes to have survived the abuse and even more to talk about it. • Do express concern for their safety and discuss it. Do they have somewhere • to stay? • Do ask about the children. Are they abused or witnesses to abuse? If so you may need to persuade them to report it or allow you to do so. You may have no option but to do so if a child is at risk (see Appendix 4). • Do encourage them to focus on their own needs, something they may not have been able to do since the abuse began but which is critical in helping them to change their situation.

27. Pastoral Care – What to do • Do make a brief objective note of date, facts and context of what you have been told but keep your opinions separate. This should be kept in strict confidence but could be useful in any future prosecution (see Appendix 3). • Do not trivialize, judge, criticize or dismiss what they tell you. • Do not have physical contact. • Do not put yourself in a dangerous position. Do not confront the alleged abuser or offer to mediate. • Do not give advice, suggest they ‘try again’ or make decisions for them or try to take control. • Discuss their options, find out what they want (bearing in mind that sometimes their wishes will have been manipulated by the perpetrator) and help them to achieve it.

28. Pastoral Care – What to do • Do reassure them that, whatever the circumstances, abuse is not justified • and not their fault. • Do ask them what they want from you and the parish. Offer help which is in response to their needs and preferences and which lets them keep in control. • Do check if it is all right to contact them at home before doing so. • Do keep information confidential and never pass on an address without consent (unless it is a child protection issue). • Do give information about where to get specialist help (see Section 4), particularly help that is available locally. Do encourage them to seek professional help even if they do not want to leave.

29. Pastoral Care – What to do • They may change their mind several times. You may experience feelings of frustration, but the choice has to be theirs otherwise you are mirroring the behaviour of an abuser. • Do not expect them to make decisions in a hurry. Leaving may be as frightening as staying. Helping them build a contingency/crisis plan can make them feel in control of their life. • Do not forget your own needs. Such disclosures will be stressful for you. • Discuss the situation with a specialist or supervisor without identifying the victim.

30. Thank you

31. Back up slides

32. Statistics into reality • 2,142 (37%)– assault occasioning actual bodily harm • 1,683 (29%) – common assault and battery • 219 (3%) – various forms of wounding • 76 (1%) – serious sexual assaults – ( 64 adults 12 children) • 2 - homicides

33. MARACs Past Data • Eastern – (started in Feb 08) 93 cases, 14 repeats, 99 children present • Central – (started in July 07) 190 cases, 13 repeats, 255 children present • Western (started in July 07) 137 cases, 11 repeats, 29 children present (only started to record children from Feb 09) • Majority of the referrals are from the police and the IDVAs

34. Key Facts • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced domestic abuse in their lifetime. Women are the victims in 4 out of 5 domestic homicides • Domestic abuse accounts for 16% of all violent crime • 2 women a week, 1 man every 2 weeks dies as a result of domestic abuse. • 90% of children are in the same room or the next room when domestic abuse occurs. Over half of those children are abused themselves. • 24% LGBT community have experienced domestic abuse • 62% of people with physical disabilities have suffered some form of domestic abuse. Disabled women are twice as likely to experience domestic abuse than non disabled women. • 17000 women a year are subject to Honour Based Violence every year

35. Who are abusers? Abusers cross: • all socio-economic groups, • Religious groups, • Racial groups, • Ethnic groups, • age groups • and genders – though women are predominantly the victims