GUIDELINES FOR KEY PERSONNEL FOLLOWING A TRAUMATIC EVENT

1. GUIDELINES FOR KEY PERSONNEL FOLLOWING A TRAUMATIC EVENT You have just experienced an event that has created an unusual amount of distress and anxiety. Many of those around you, because of this event, may have strong reactions which can create feelings of fear and panic. The reactions you witness can be alarming. However, as the individual in charge, there are some concrete steps that you can take to assist others. • Keep in mind that the reactions you observe are normal, given the circumstances that the group has just experienced. • Individuals who cannot be calmed or are perceived to be hysterical should be seen individually. There is a counsellor available by telephone who can assist in arranging immediate intervention, if necessary. Provide them with the FGI EAP number (see bottom of page) with the understanding that they may call 24 hours a day. • Arrange for employees to have an opportunity to talk with one another following the event. This can be facilitated by providing something nutritious to eat and drink. • Distribute to each individual a copy of the handout “Taking Care After A Traumatic Event” we have faxed. This will discuss the preliminary stages and reactions your staff may anticipate, while offering simple, clear suggestions about what they can do in the next few days. It will also prepare them for the debriefing which FGI is in the process of arranging for you. • Ensure that all impacted employees are accompanied home. It is advisable for staff to car pool, or go home in a taxi. Avoid employees using public transit or going home alone. • It is not recommended to send an unsettled employee home. If there are concerns about the well-being of one of the staff, FGI invites you to speak with an Intake counsellor in order to determine the most beneficial plan of action. • If you require guidance in managing your staff, please call FGI at the number below and request a manager consultation. • As the contact person, there has been some pressure placed on you to be in control, calm and collected. It may be difficult and you may find that you too are experiencing some of the reactions you are observing in those around you. This is to expected. You are encouraged to talk with one of the FGI counselling staff on the telephone or in a private interview.

2. TAKING CARE AFTER A TRAUMATIC EVENT • Often the actions of both the individual affected and the people they come into contact with during the 24 to 48 hours after an incident can dramatically affect the amount of reactive stress experienced, as well as increasing or reducing the time needed to recover. The following steps should be taken immediately after an event to help reduce its negative impact. • Provide an opportunity for staff to talk together about the event in a supportive, non-critical manner. • Ensure that a family member or friend stays with affected individuals at home, so they are not left alone. • Request a Group Debriefing Session for staff, if appropriate. • ADVICE FOR INDIVIDUALS • Try to maintain a normal lifestyle as much as possible. This assists in rebuilding security and a sense of safety. • Get some form of physical exercise within 24 hours. • Cut down on caffeine and tobacco. • Avoid alcohol and drugs. • Eat something at regular meal times even if there is little appetite (moderate food intake). • Reduce or limit sugar intake (to avoid increasing the "slump" experienced after an already high energy response). • Get up and do something if sleep is disrupted. • Realize that emotional responses are normal reactions to a traumatic event. Whether you are angry, fearful, anxious, sad or disoriented, you are experiencing normal reactions.

3. WHAT YOU ARE LIKELY TO EXPERIENCE AFTER A TRAUMA SHOCK- DISBELIEF - NUMBNESS “It didn’t seem real. It felt like I was in a movie.” “I thought it was a joke.” FEAR - VULNERABILITY “I don’t feel safe.” “I now check the doors at home to make sure they’re locked.” “I get nervous when someone I don’t recognize comes in.” ANGERDEPRESSION “I can’t get it out of my mind.” “We shouldn’t be treated that way.” “I feel overwhelmed.” “It’s not fair.” “ I just have no energy.” DENIAL “I don’t want to talk about it all over again.” “I’m fine as long as I keep it out of my mind.” RESOLUTION “It’ll be hard to forget, but life seems back to normal.” You may experience some or all of these states. It may or may not be in the order suggested above. As you are starting to heal, you may experience some intense feelings again. This is normal. However, you will feel more like yourself in 4-6 weeks. If you wish to talk alone with a counsellor, please call the specially trained professionals at FGI. Your call will be kept confidential.

4. HOW A TRAUMATIC EVENT CAN AFFECT YOU Experiencing a traumatic event may trigger strong emotional reactions. We hope this information will help you understand what you might experience in the next days and weeks. If you learn about the normal and natural reactions to traumatic events, you will be better able to cope. The most common reaction is fear. Your sense of security and well-being has been violated and it is perfectly normal to feel afraid. You may feel afraid and on guard or anticipate that a similar event could happen again. You may experience the following reactions: • fearing strangers • dreaming about the event • checking the back seat of your car before getting in • overprotective of others, particularly your children These reactions are normal, but they can still be demanding and draining. You may find yourself exhausted for no particular reason, but not able to sleep well. Since fear uses up mental energy, it may result in this fatigue. These feelings are normal and natural. If you have them, it does not mean you are weak or going crazy. It simply means your mind is working through the experience. It can take days, if not weeks to return to more of a routine. Fear is a normal reaction. If you allow yourself to experience the fear, you will find that the fear will lessen. Over time your mind will heal itself. Also common, is a feeling of powerlessness; of not being in control of your life. Whether you react or not will depend on many things. For example, if you have been involved in a previous trauma, or if your present life circumstances are difficult, you may react more strongly than some other people. You may find that you have reactions even though you have not been directly involved in the incident. Over....

5. There may not be energy left for your normal activities. • You may find it hard to concentrate & remember everyday tasks. • The normal demands of work and home seem overwhelming. • Little things, noise, for example, may make you highly irritable. • You may use alcohol or other drugs to calm yourself or sleep. Your friends or family may not attach much importance to what has happened. It’s hard for them to realize the effect this event may have had. If you have had a reaction to the trauma, you may experience some or all of the following: • A period of shock - immediately after the experience, numbness and feeling out of touch with reality. • You may become fearful and feel exhausted. This may last for a few days or over a week. • You may feel you’ve mastered your feelings, only to find they come back from time to time. It may feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster. • The feeling of fear decreases and becomes less frequent. You become detached from the event and feel you are coping well. These reactions may be disturbing and are normal. They will diminish and disappear with time. It is very important to take good care of yourself when you are under this kind of stress. Engage in activities you enjoy, eat healthy foods, rest, exercise and listen to your body’s needs. During these times, there is often a strong temptation to indulge in unhealthy habits such as using cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. This can lead to other kinds of problems. Your family and friends can read this handout to help them understand your experience. Their support can help you. You may find it helpful to talk to other employees who experienced the event. You may find they have similar feelings and good suggestions. Also you can contact others who have helped in the past (counsellors, ministers, doctors, your best friend). Call us at FGI. We’re here to help.

6. HOW THE DEATH OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW CAN AFFECT YOU Someone we know through work has died. Itmay be completely unexpected, such as a massive heart attack or fatal accident, or this death may be one that we knew would be coming. We all react differently to the same event and there are also some general reactions many of us share. The most common reactions are shock, disbelief and numbness. No matter how often we may have discussed the impending death, no matter how close or distant we were to the person most of us say “I can’t believe it.” We then quickly remember the last time we saw that person. “I was just talking to him yesterday and everything seemed just fine”, or “When I saw her last, she looked so ill, I avoided her and didn’t even ask how she was feeling”, or “I wished I had not given him/her so much stress.” We may feel guilty and wish we had said good-bye. We may wish our last conversation was different, and we had been nicer to them. As well, we might even feel guilty that we don’t feel badly at all. When someone dies, there is sadness. This sadness could be for the person, the family left behind, or yourself. We may feel that the person has been cheated of their potential, robbed of the best years of their life. The family may feel abandoned, lost and lonely. We may feel an emptiness and find it hard to believe that they are gone forever. When a death occurs, it is hard to know what to say to people left behind. There are no perfect words. It’s simply being there and willing to listen that really count. It is important to allow yourself to experience all of your feelings and recognize that they are a normal part of grieving. This can be painful. There is often a tendency to push them aside and pretend they do not exist. Over....

7. 3. Express verbal or written appreciation for the qualities you valued in the deceased. • For example: • Offer to assist in providing information for those preparing the eulogy. • Write a note to the family saying how and why your co-worker was valued. • Relate a personal anecdote involving the deceased. Humour is OK. • 4. Find out if there is a special manner in which the family of the deceased wishes them to be acknowledged or remembered. In addition, find out if the deceased had special wishes. (e.g., a memorial donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation, the Canadian Cancer Society, AIDS research, etc.) • If at your workplace you have decided upon a specific memorial to honour the deceased, communicate this decision to the family and perhaps invite them to participate. • In expressing your condolences, use your own personal style of caring and expressing sympathy. Crying with the bereaved family is OK. Often, so is humour and expressions of physical affection like a hug. Also, use your own style in writing a personal card or note.

8. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF We may find ourselves feeling detached and unconnected to the world around us. We may also feel very fatigued and sleep more than usual. Or we may have a lot of trouble sleeping, wake up during the night, and have bad dreams. It is very important to take good care of ourselves when we are under this kind of stress. This means eating healthy foods, resting and sleeping, exercising and listening to our body’s needs. During these times, people try to control their reactions by overusing caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. In most cases the benefits are short lived, and overuse of any of these substances can lead to other kinds of problems. The intensity and duration of our reactions will vary from person to person. Our family and friends may not attach much importance to what has happened and may not understand our reaction. We will find ourselves gradually returning to more of a routine within 4 - 8 weeks. We will remember the person whom we have lost, and we will come to an acceptance of their death, and be able to resume our work responsibilities. If you wish to talk alone with a counsellor, please call the specially trained professionals at FGI. Your call will be kept confidential.

9. TALKING TO BEREAVED FAMILY MEMBERS • Someone at your workplace has died, or perhaps a close family member of a co-worker has died. Often we don’t know what to say and we feel awkward. • The following are some suggestions about what you may want to say when talking to a bereaved family member. Use your own personal style when communicating. • 1. Introduce yourself to the family member and indicate your connection to the • deceased or bereaved. • 2. Express your condolences. It is best to offer some form of acknowledgment • to their loss. This can be done verbally, in writing, or by doing something. • Remember, too,your presence can be comforting and supportive. • For example statements such as the following express sympathy: • “So sorry to hear of your loss.” • “I feel sad about Jim’s death.” • You may wish to write the family a personal note or a note from the whole department. • You could visit the family at the funeral home, cook a meal and deliver it to the bereaved, offer a hug, deliver a book on grieving (e.g., The Prophet, Don’t Take My Grief Away, Living When a Loved One Has Died, Living With an Empty Chair: A Guide Through Grief, • Questions and Answers on Death and Dying). • Find out if there is anything you could do in a concrete way to help out in the bereaved household. (e.g., pick up groceries, help address thank you cards.) • Over....

10. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE When someone you know through work dies, we may experience our own mortality and feel anxious and vulnerable. “Hey this could be me.” or “I wonder when my number will be up?” Looking inwards and examining our lives during times of grief is normal. This may lead to making new decisions about what really counts. FEEL THE SADNESS When someone we work with dies, our thoughts may drift to them throughout the day. This can affect our concentration. We may feel tearful and need to cry. This is an important part of the grieving process. We may think we see them by the water cooler or hear their voice in the hallway. These memories are to be expected and will occur most often immediately after their death. ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ANGER We also may feel angry at the person who has died, or at the circumstances surrounding their death. The anger is a normal part of grieving and needs to be acknowledged and expressed appropriately. TALK TO OTHERS When we are feeling this way, there is often a wish to make these intense feelings disappear. We may resent the suggestion that we share these thoughts with our co-workers. But this expression is an important part of the healing process. Denying our feelings will only slow down our own healing.