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Staying Healthy While You Work with The Clover Practice ™

Staying Healthy While You Work with The Clover Practice ™. Kathleen A. Paris, Ph.D. From Inspiration to Application Careers Conference January 27, 2010. We don’t have to wait for other people or “the system” to change to have healthier work lives ourselves. The Clover Practice TM.

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Staying Healthy While You Work with The Clover Practice ™

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  1. Staying Healthy While You Work withThe Clover Practice™ Kathleen A. Paris, Ph.D. From Inspiration to Application Careers Conference January 27, 2010

  2. We don’thave to wait for other people or “the system” to change to havehealthier work lives ourselves.

  3. The Clover PracticeTM • Tell the truth, always • Speak for yourself • Declare your interdependence

  4. Clover Principle # 1 Tell the Truth, Always

  5. Tell the Truth, Always 1. Tell the truth as you know it, recognizing that you may know only part of the “Truth” 2. Stay humble about your reality 3. Recognize that even “white lies” compromise your integrity

  6. 93% of 40,000 workers admitted to lying habitually and regularly in the workplace Fast Company

  7. College students admitted that at least 70% of their excuses for missed assignments are lies Pagano & Pagano

  8. Tell the Truth, Always “You create a field of clarity and safety around you wherever you go.” Pagano & Pagano You need never be in hiding.

  9. Research “Strong relationships, careers, organizations, and communities all draw from the same source of power—the ability to talk openly about high-stakes, emotional, controversial issues.” Patterson et al. (2002) [Emphasis added]

  10. There are as many versions of “the truth” as there are people in the room.

  11. Our own “screens” or filtering lenses are subconscious and largely unknown to us.

  12. “The truth as we know it…” AA & Al-Anon

  13. Honesty vs. Flapping Your Gums 1. Will my comment add value? 2. Will my comment help others or myself get the job done? 3. What are my motives?

  14. Evaluating the Risk • What has my experience been with this person before? • Do I have adequate information to support my observations? • What is the best I can hope for if I don’t bring it up? • What is the worst thing that could happen if I do bring it up?

  15. Evaluating the Risk, cont.’ 5. How realistic is my answer to #4? 6. Can I find a time and place to discuss this so the person can hear it? 7. Do I need to take someone else along? 8. Others?

  16. “I’ve been in this department for twenty years and it’s been the same the whole time—people are treated like dirt.” How is this person contributing to the problem?

  17. Clover Principle #2 Speak for Yourself

  18. It matters how and when you tell the truth

  19. Think of a time when you said:  I don’t know what to think about it.  I’m not sure how I’m feeling right now.  I don’t know if I like it or not.  I don’t know how I would react if…  I don’t know what I want.

  20. Speak for Yourself Express your view in terms of your own observations, experiences, and preferences (not eternal truths). I saw XYZ I heard a student saying XYZ I noticed that….. I felt that…

  21. Say it in a way that the other person can hear it. • Concrete and fact-based • Without name calling or labels (careless, inconsiderate, unprofessional) • Focused on current situation, not old history • Not publicly embarrassing

  22. Try Feedback Instead of Criticism • Information on what was or was not accomplished in light of a goal • Observable facts [as you see them] • What did or did not happen? • Specific, concrete, non-judgmental language • What was the impact? Source: Grant Wiggins http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/assess/wiggins.htm

  23. Speak for Yourself It makes telling the truth easier and safer.

  24. Not “Speaking for Yourself” Is “Speaking for Yourself” “It was a lousy workshop.”

  25. You are asked “Do you like the newhandbook?” You think it looks boring. How could you tell the truth and speak for yourself?

  26. Is “Speaking for Yourself” Not “Speaking for Yourself” It was really inconsiderate of you to take the afternoon off today of all days!

  27. “I feel” is not a free ticket. I feel that you are an incompetent, lazy oaf.

  28. Speak for yourself Speak directly to the person when there’s a problem.

  29. New and Improved • When you_______________(describe other person’s behavior) • I interpret that as ___________(describe impact on you) • How do you see the situation? (provides a chance for others to tell their “story”) • I would like you to____________(describe what actions/behaviors you want) • I am willing to __________________(describe what you will do to help) • Are you willing to try it?

  30. Gossip Avoid Gossip Speak for yourself Tell the truth always Refuse to repeat information that could harm another person.

  31. Impacts of Workplace Gossip?

  32. Clover Principle TM #3 Declare Your Interdependence

  33. We Are More Connected Than We Think What happens in one part of the department affects the whole.

  34. 20th Century American Heroes • The Lone Ranger • John Wayne • Rambo • Batman • Dirty Harry • Superman • Spiderman • Mr. & Mrs. Smith

  35. No one succeeds in an organization by his or her own effort alone.

  36. Connections & Interdependence The people who figure out the payroll, keep the electricity and heat on, plow the lots, keep the computer network running, wash the dishes—in the moment they are doing their work—are just as essential as the more visible “stars” of the organization.

  37. If we had a stronger sense of how much our own success depends on the success of others in the organization • What might we do differently? • More of? • Less of?

  38. When something is consistently going wrong in a relationship, we are part of the problem.

  39. I believe: • To the extent that you can live the Clover Practice™: • You can stay healthy in your own mind spirit and enrich your organization.

  40. Resources Pagano, Barbara and Pagano, Elizabeth. (2004).The Transparency Edge: How Credibility Can Make or Break You in Business. Chicago: McGraw-Hill. Paris, Kathleen (2008). Staying Healthy in Sick Organizations: The Clover Practice™. Charleston, South Carolina: BookSurge.

  41. Resources, cont. Patterson, Kerry, Grenny, Joseph, McMillan, Ron and Switzler, Al. (2002). Crucial Conversations. Chicago: McGraw Hill. Ryan, Kathleen and Oestreich, Daniel. (1996).The Courageous Messenger: How to Successfully Speak Up at Work. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

  42. Thank You! Kathleen A. Paris, Ph.D. kathleen@kathleenparis.com Phone: 608-445-1085 kathleenparis.com

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