The Self and The Sailboat Metaphor

1. The Self and The Sailboat Metaphor

2. This presentation • Chapter 1: Introducing the self • Chapter 2: The Self-as-story • Chapter 3: The Impact of the Self-as-story • Chapter 4: The Self-as-process • Chapter 5: Summary

3. 1 Introducing the Self

4. The self is popular Chapter 1 –Introducing the Self • Research by • psychologists • sociologists • anthropologists • political scientists • economists

5. The self is popular Chapter 1 –Introducing the Self • Google Scholar: 3 million citations • PsycINFO: tens of thousands of articles • Positive Psychology Program Survey: no. 1 topic of interest

6. Why is the self so popular? Chapter 1 –Introducing the Self • According to self and identity theories: • people care about themselves • people want to know who they are • people use self-knowledge to make sense of the world

7. Why is the self so popular? Chapter 1 –Introducing the Self • Self and identity influences: • what people are motivated to do • how people think • how people make sense of themselves and others • the actions people take • people’s feelings • people’s ability to regulate themselves

8. 2 The self-as-story

9. Who are you? Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story ” ” I’m John, 24 years old, I have an important job being a CEO of a big company, I like watching football, I have a nice house in Denver, I am good at sports, I am extraverted…

10. Who are you? Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story “I am a person who . . . ” …can generate dozens, or even hundreds, of supposed attributes in most people. Our ‘self’ is who we believe we are.

11. Hayes (1999, p.181). Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story ” ” We humans do not merely live in the world, we live in the world as we interpret it, construct it, view it, or understand it.

12. The self-as-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • based on a constructivist approach of the self • people construct both a sense of who they think they are and of the “reality” within which they live • the self is a mental construction: “me story”

13. The self-as-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • During the day, we create it by: • evaluating whether experiences are good or bad • deciding what experiences say about us • wondering why experiences happen

14. The self-as-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • Over time, we create it by: • formulating our own life history • defining our dominant attributes • evaluating our dominant attributes • constructing cause and effect relations

15. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story

16. The self-as-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story positive negative I am smart I am knowledgeable I am strong I am unattractive I am a victim I am unlovable

17. The self-as-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • Synonyms: • self-as-content (ACT) • ego • narrative self • conceptualized self

18. Practical advice Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story Some clients believe strongly in an elaborate story that they have created about themselves. Talking at length about this story further strengthens the client’s identification with it, which can hinder the process of change. Rather than focusing on these stories, discussing and debating them, it is often more helpful for clients to step out of this “mental story mode”. Creatively using silence during the session can be a powerful way to disrupt the client’s self-story monologue.

19. The core process: Identification Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • identify with something = making it the same as “me” • perceiving it as an inseparable part of the self • a creation of the mind

20. Types of identification Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • appearance • beliefs • possessions • performance • job • opinion • group memberships

21. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am a policeman” (profession) • “I am a hockey player” (hobby) • “I am a father” (family) • “I am rich” (finances)

22. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am hurt” • “I am happy” • “I am angry”

23. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am right because I value X” • “Unlike others, I know what is really important in life”

24. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am nobody” • “I am a failure” • “I am worth less than others because I suffer from X”

25. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am talented” • “I am better than others because I can do X extremely well” • “I am unbeatable”

26. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am a victim because X happened” • “I am strong because I survived X” • “I am worthless because X happened”

27. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am attractive because I have attractive friends” • “I am important because I know important people” • “I belong to group X”

28. The sailboat metaphor Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • “I am successful because I achieved X” • “I am not going to be successful because I never achieved anything”

29. Practical advice Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story Clients may identify with clinical labels. Rather than using general, self-story inducing labels such as “personality disorder” and “eating disorder”, practitioners can label the specific behaviors that reduce well-being. Focusing on behavior stresses the temporary nature of struggles and problems, opens the gateways for solutions and highlights the difference between what clients do and what clients seemingly are.

30. Development of the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • the self image: • forms from external, repeated feedback about the self • can be formed consciously or unconsciously • can be formed directly or indirectly

31. Contributions to the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story media parents schooling self religion culture peers

32. Contributions to the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • caregivers, peers, and others: • direct feedback (e.g. bullying) • modeling • values of caregivers (studying, “honorable” job, being loyal, etc.) • beliefs (respect for the local worthies, men are not allowed to cry, etc.)

33. Contributions to the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • formal schooling and instruction: • pre-defined ideas about what knowledge and skills are valuable • intellectual abilities = standard • tests and exams

34. Contributions to the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • media: • guidelines for beauty • markers of success • product-value = self-value

35. Contributions to the self-story Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story parents self-as-story peers internalization identification self-relevant information school media religion

36. Language Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • words: • are the main building block of the self-image • are symbols • can never fully capture reality • can never capture the complexity of a human being

37. Language Chapter 2 – The Self-as-story • the problem of using words to describe the self: • many words falsely imply a dichotomy • many words are relative rather than absolute • words can have different meanings to different people

38. 3 The impact of the self-as-story

39. Cognitive biases Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story Cognitive biases are automatic patterns of deviation in judgment that occur in particular situations, leading to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality.

40. Cognitive biases Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • aim to protect or enhance the created self-image • people embrace information consistent with their self-views and reject information inconsistent with their self-views

41. Cognitive biases Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • the better-than-average effect • most people rate themselves as safer than the average driver, more sexually skilful than the average lover, and more ethical than the average person • 86% of employees rate their job performance as “above average,” whereas only 1% say they perform below average at work

42. Cognitive biases Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • self-servingattributions • athletes are more likely to assume personal responsibility when they perform well in the sports arena than when they perform poorly • drivers attribute accidents to external factors (e.g. the weather, the condition of their car, other drivers) yet attribute the narrow avoidance of an accident to their alertness and finely honed driving skills.

43. Need for affirmation Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • need to receive validation and approval of the self-image • threat to the self-story = threat to the self • continuous and restless search

44. Social comparison Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • comparing to others on relevant self-story dimensions • jealousy increases when the domain of the other person’s achievements is also a domain of high self-relevance to the individual

45. Social comparison Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story • people who make frequent social comparisons are more likely: • to experience envy, guilt, regret, and defensiveness • to lie and blame others • to have unmet cravings

46. Sailboat metaphor Chapter 3 – The Impact of the Self-as-story

47. 4 The Self-as-process

48. The self-as-process defined Chapter 4 – The Self-as-process the self-as-process is the experiential being at the core of a person; that which sees, hears, dreams, thinks, feels, etc.

49. The self-as-process Chapter 4 – The Self-as-process • the observer that is aware of the experience in this moment • able to observe mind-made stores • in direct contact with the present moment • emerges naturally, from moment-to-moment experience • cannot be captured by words or symbols

50. The self-as-process Chapter 4 – The Self-as-process • synonyms: • self-as-context (ACT) • transcendent self • the observing self • the witness • the true self