Developing Self-Control

1. Developing Self-Control The Power To Change Your Life

2. Developing self-control Why do we need self-control? Examples of people without self-control The cook who killed his supervisor at Soup Spoon Rich people who shop lift Driver who shot another driver in USA Samson People with self-control David

3. Developing self-control Greek word for self-control is egkrateia which means “restraining passions and appetites” The opposite is akrasia which means “excess, self-indulgence” Sexual immorality = sex out of control Wrath = anger out of control Drunkenness = appetite out of control Gossips, lies, boasts, curse = mouth out of control

4. Why do we need self-control? “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” (Prov 25:28) Many of our problems are caused by lack of self-control. Self-control brings a good feeling of competency, confidence and inner sense of security. Self-control and self-discipline are the key qualities each of us must have in order to achieve anything in life.

5. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 1 - Admit your problem James 1:14 says, “Every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own desires and enticed.” This means that we like to do things because we like to. When we do something we know is bad for us, we still do it because we like to do it, we want to do it, it’s an inner desire. We are responsible for our behaviour. If we have a problem, we must admit

6. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 2 - Put the past behind Paul says in Phil 3:13-14 “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal.” “Once a failure, always a failure” = Misconception Focusing on past failures will guarantee a repetition

7. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 3 - Talk back to your feelings We tend to put too much emphasis on our feelings. Ask yourself, how many times you let your moods manipulate you? God doesn’t want us to be controlled by our feelings. He wants us to master our moods With Christ as our master of our lives, we can master our feelings. “For the grace of God …teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:11-12)

8. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 4 - Believe You Can Change Our behaviour is always controlled by what we believe. The way we think determines the way we feel and the way we feel determines the way we act. Romans 12:2 tells us “do not be conform any longer to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” We can be transformed only by the renewing of our mind 1 Cor 10:13 says “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” We need to focus on God’s positive promises of help and strength. Phil 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”(NKJV) Remember that Jesus says “Everything is possible for him who believes” (Mark 9:23)

9. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 5 - Make Yourself Accountable To Someone Find someone who will check up on you, who will pray for you and who will encourage you in the areas you want to develop self-control Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.” Gal 6:2 “Bear one another’s burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” How do you look for a buddy? Let you buddy check on you from time to time

10. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 6 - Avoid Temptation Avoid the things that will tempt you Eph 4:27 says, “Do not give the devil a foothold.” Avoid people and situations that will tempt you to give up self-control.

11. Developing self-control in 7 steps Step 7 - Depend on Christ’s Power If we want to develop self-control, learn to depend on Christ’s power “Let the Spirit direct your lives, and you will not satisfy the desires of the human nature.” Galations 5:16 God asks us to let Him into our lives and let the Holy Spirit control our lives while we’re struggling with the problems. Many people may know where they lack self-control, they know what they did is wrong, but still like doing it. It means sin is fun – at least for a while. None of us would sin if sin immediately made us miserable. “For God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Phil 2:13 This verse tells us that God not only gives us the desire to do what is right but He also gives us the power to do what is right

12. Developing self-control In what areas in your life do you have a hard time saying no? Do you have a hard time saying no to food? Do you have a hard time saying no to excessive spending? Do you have a hard time saying no to alcohol? Drugs? Cigarettes? Elicit sex? Do you have control over your passions? Do you have self-control over your mouth? Self-control does not develop from rules, it develops when we listen to the Holy Spirit inside us