Suicide, Suicide Prevention, And the Pursuit Of Happiness

1. Suicide, Suicide Prevention, And the Pursuit Of Happiness John Sommers-FlanaganUniversity of Montana Red Lodge Forum for Provocative Issues – October 1, 2019 For info and handout, go to: https://johnsommersflanagan.com/

2. Let’s Talk Happiness

3. Opening Stories • Once upon a time . . .

4. Trigger Warning • Moods happen • Happiness happens • Ironically, talking about happiness can make you feel sad • The Instagram/Facebook Effect

6. Introductions • John SF – My background– University of Montana • Talking about suicide is “one” of my favorite topics • Blogging at johnsommersflanagan.com

7. Information • Although potentially useful, the information I provide today is general and educational and should NOT be considered medical advice. • If you, your friends, family, or coworkers are experiencing depression or suicidal impulses, you should consult with a licensed health or mental health professional.

8. The Plan • Notice a few problems with suicide prevention (myths) • Think about suicide and about what contributes to it – across six life dimensions • Hypothesize why Montana rates are (always) so high • Discuss how to ask and what to say • Sprinkle in some happiness or fun here and there • Identify resources

9. Let’s think about suicide • In 1973, Edwin Shneidman, wrote the Encyclopedia Britannica’s definition of suicide: • Suicide is not a disease (although there are those who think so); it is not, in the view of the most detached observers, an immorality.

10. Suicide and suicidal thoughts . . . • Are not a disease or illness • Are not a moral failing • Most people who think about suicide are sensitive, thoughtful, and intelligent

11. Prevention Myth busting – I • Myth 1: Suicide Ideation is about death or dying . . . which is very bad! • Nope: It’s primarily about EXCRUCIATING DISTRESS . . . a signal to pay attention to. • No need to panic about SI, just need to gently be of help and support

12. Prevention Myth busting – II • Myth: Suicidal thoughts and gestures are signs of deviance • Nope: Normal . . . About 10% of human population will attempt suicide; 20% struggle with SI + SP; over 50% of suicide deaths – no mental disorder diagnosis (CDC, 2018) • Judging and shaming increases disconnection

13. Prevention Myth busting – III • Myth: Suicide is predictable and preventable • Nope . . . Suicide is very hard to predict and prevent; 100% preventable is an activating message • IS PATH WARM . . . SAD PERSONS SCALE • Hand-pushing

14. U.S. Trends • 1999: 10.0/100,000 per-capita • 2007: 14.0/100,000 (40% increase) • 1999:29,180 suicide deaths • 2017: 47,173 (61.9% increase)

15. Statistics • U.S. Suicide Rates: 14/100,000 • Montana Rates: 29/100,000 • At risk demographics • Males 3-4x risk vs. females • Montana veterans over 2x risk of MT average • Native American youth higher risk; older white males higher risk

16. Not about the Numbers • Easy to get caught up in the numbers • U.S. rates nearly always fluctuate between 10 and 15 per 100,000 • Montana rates nearly always fluctuate at a rate close to double that of U.S. • Numbers, demographics, risk and protective factors, and warning signs, are of minimal help

17. Leading Montana Theories • Interpersonal isolation • Access to firearms • Alcohol abuse rates • High veteran, older White male, and Native American populations • Independent attitudes and stigma • Limited access to mental health services

18. Domains, Problems, Solutions

19. Jeanne – Passive Suicide post-grief • Short video clip • 1:19:20 – 1:23:08 • Spiritual and meaningfulness focus

20. What to Listen For • Mostly listen for and be accepting of: • Emotional pain • A sense of feeling trapped or ashamed • Not believing or feeling that anything can possibly help • While listening, show empathy and compassion—even if you think the person is being dramatic.

21. How Should I Ask? • The answer to this is always, “Ask directly.” But we can do even better than that. • We need to de-shame suicidal thoughts • Before asking, communicate that you know suicidal thoughts are a normal and natural response to emotional pain and disturbing situations.

22. Practicing: How Should I Ask? • Try out something like this: • “I’ve recently learned that it’s not unusual for people to think about suicide. Have you had any thoughts about suicide?”

23. What Should I Say? • Thanks for telling me. • Thanks for being so honest, that takes courage. • I know I can’t instantly make everything better, but I want you to live and I want to help. • How can I best support you right now? • What can we do together that would help? • When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage—to let the feelings pass.

24. Three-Step Emotional Change Technique Step One Honor and feel the feeling Mindful acceptance

25. Three-Step Emotional Change Technique Step Two Think a new/different thought or do something different Memories, pets, smiles, meaning

26. Three-Step Emotional Change Technique Step Three Spread the good mood Good food, genuine compliments

27. Three-Step Emotional Change Technique Step Four Teach someone the three steps Emotions are complex

28. Conclusion • The mind is a terrible place to go . . . alone • Which is why we should keep on talking—directly to each other and to other friends, family, and community—about suicide and suicide prevention. • Info at: johnsommersflanagan.com

29. conclusions II • None Of Us Are Getting Out Of Here Alive... • “... So please stop treating yourself like an afterthought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.” - Nanea Hoffman • Q & R time

30. Resources • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 • Carbon County Mental Health Center Satellite: 406-446-2500 • Montana AFSP Resources: Here and online