UNIT 7: THE LANGUAGE IN COMMUNICATION II

1. Unit Objectives At the end of the unit, you will be able to: define and describe the major principles of verbal messages; explain some of the ways in which to communicate criticism, praise, and appraisal; list the reasons why people lie and explain dimensions of lying; define confirmation and disconfirmation and provide examples; and state the main barriers to effective speech communication and suggest corrective measures describe racist, sexist, and heterosexist language and explain their impact on communication practice. UNIT 7: THE LANGUAGE IN COMMUNICATION II

2. Exclusive Talk talk that is of interest only to one particular group; other groups are 'excluded' from the topic of conversation e.g. communication between a group of doctors in the presence of non-doctors; talking about one's country to others of the same nationality within a heterogeneous group of people from various countries. Exclusive talk also includes self-talk that centres on the self exclusively and on little else. Inclusive Talk making an attempt to include everyone involved in the conversation, making people feel a part of the communication situation. Exclusive and Inclusive Talk

3. Downward Talk the sender creates a message that is condescending or patronising, and manipulative or directive the speaker puts himself or herself above others and addresses them from this position of power. E.g. "I know you probably don't realise this but…" or "You probably don't keep abreast with developments in computer technology, so…." the speaker tells people how they should feel e.g. "Don't be silly, you'll pass the course", or "Forget about the cheat. You'll meet someone better pretty soon", or even "Lots of people are worse off. Don't feel sorry for yourself!" the speaker interrupts others rudely to have his or her say in the matter at hand. Downward and Equality Talk

4. Equality Talk opposite of downward talk sender treats everyone involved as an equal; everyone has a right to speak and has a right to be heard Power Play special type of talk that puts the listener down to allow the sender to get what s/he wants often using more elaborate ways e.g. by expressing ignorance of the rules of social etiquette: "I didn't know you don't want me to look into your mail-box, so I took the liberty to…", "Do you want me to knock before I come into your office next time?" and so on.

5. Management Strategies (particularly for controlling downward talk) Express your feelings about the message Describe the behaviour you object to State/Suggest a co-operative response that both parties can live comfortably with

6. Criticising is not simply finding fault with a person's behaviour or character. we have to highlight both strengths and weaknesses with a view to help shortcomings must be constructive to be worthwhile for the parties concerned. Praise is communication that is meant to compliment or to say something positive about people and/or their behaviour. Appraisal involves added judgement or value. Important to distinguish when a person is asking for a compliment, a critique and/or appraisal. Criticism, Praise, and Honest Appraisal

7. A few tips on how to extend criticism: Focus on the event or behaviour, not on the person Take responsibility for your criticism (criticism is owned by the speaker rather than the listener). State concern for the other person along with the criticism. Be specific to make the criticism work better. Avoid mind reading. E.g. "Don't you ever care enough about …..” compared with "I'd use a stronger introduction and friendlier style to address the interests of the readers." How to Criticise

8. Praise is positive feedback that is given to a person or group of people: Use I-messages e.g. "I thought your performance in the play was good. I particularly liked the way you…" is certainly better than "Your performance in the play was good." Use positive non-verbal feedback to support the verbal message (provided these are appropriate to the cultural context of the speaker and/or the listener) e.g. touching the forearm, patting on the shoulder, smiling, etc. Be specific by extending the I-message (see example in 1 above) Giving Praise

9. 'Lying' may be defined as the act of deliberately misleading another person by giving false information (commission) and/or providing incomplete information about an issue/topic/matter (omission). Lying and Honesty

10. Reasons for lying Gain some kind of reward and/or to escape punishment Basic needs - lies told to gain or to retain objects that fulfil basic needs such as money and food Affiliation - lies told to increase desired affiliation/association or to decrease undesired affiliations Self-esteem - lies told to protect or increase one's self-esteem of oneself, the person one is interacting with or some third party Self-gratification - lies told to achieve some personal satisfaction such as humour

11. Two dimensions of lying: The ethical dimension to lying concerns deciding or at least thinking about what is right and what is wrong about not telling the truth. The effectiveness dimension is about whether the lie succeeds or fails to gain the reward or avoid the punishment that gave rise to the lie in the first place. One has to examine one's own beliefs and communication practice within the relevant cultural context(s).

12. Gossip is idle, third party talk, which might include rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Some problems of gossip: Confidentiality broken Invasion of privacy Ethical implications of gossip: revealing information that you have promised to keep secret Knowing something to be false and yet passing it on Being invasive by invading people's privacy Gossip and Confidentiality

13. Polarisation the tendency to view the world in terms of opposites, and to describe it in extremes (good vs. bad, positive vs. negative, intelligent vs. stupid etc.) Correcting polarisation: we must realise and understand that most people have qualities that fall somewhere between extremes on a continuum (See Appendix II, particularly at the 'relativity principle) Verbal Message Barriers and their Correction

14. Intensional Orientation the tendency to look at people, objects, and events in a way they are talked about and the way they are labelled. e.g. "Peter is dull and boring". cultural identifiers used by one group of people on another - may be racist and derogatory e.g. African American or black or Negro? Correcting intensional orientation: to 'extensionalise' i.e. see people, objects and events as they are and not in terms of convenient labels; cultural identifiers must be acceptable Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

15. Fact-Inference Confusion referring to inferential statements as though they were facts e.g. "This university is the best in the country" is an inferential statement correcting fact-inference confusion: Inferential statements are those which are often made tentatively in that they are open to possible alternative viewpoints, or they may be proved wrong Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

16. Bypassing a pattern of misevaluation in which people fail to communicate their intended meanings E.g. a woman says "I like you" to a man (friendship or love/permanent relationship?) Correcting bypassing: Look for meanings in people, not in words; also the listener should constantly seek feedback about what is said to avoid miscommunication Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

17. Allness the wrong belief that we know all that needs to be known about a person or group; the world is a very complex place (remember the six blind men and the elephant?) Correcting allness: end all statements with an et cetera (etc.) whether verbally or mentally to remind yourself: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy" …) Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

18. Static Evaluation a verbal evaluation statement about an event, person, or object that remains unchanging (static) although the original object or person changes greatly over time correcting static evaluation: we must always try to date our statements and especially our evaluations of ourselves, other people, events and objects e.g. Ahmad's academic performance in 2000 need not be the same in 2001 (because he could have worked harder or, unfortunately, grown lazy Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

19. Indiscrimination focus on classes of people, objects, or events and failure as though there are no differences; stereotypes and ethnocentric perspectives: stereotyping - forming a fixed mental picture of some group that is applied to each individual of the group without regard to his or her unique individual qualities ethnocentrism - the tendency to see other and their behaviours through one's own cultural filters; to evaluate the values, beliefs, and behaviours of one's own culture as being more positive, logical, and ‘natural’ Correcting indiscrimination: we must see uniqueness in individuals despite labels and stereotypes to avoid discriminating against people on racial, religious, cultural, and national basis; use an index (verbal or mental subscript) to identify and relate to people as unique individuals e.g. Urban Chinese1 is NOT equal to Urban Chinese2, and Malay Muslim1 is NOT the same as Malay Muslim2 Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

20. Confirmation and Disconfirmation Confirmation: those set of behaviours that acknowledge and accept the presence of the other person(s) with whom we come into contact. It is the opposite of disconfirmation. Disconfirmation: we ignore someone's presence as well as his or her communications. we must keep an open mind about situations that call for confirmation Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

21. SEXISM -any conscious or subconscious attempt to use language in a way that places the members of one sex in an inferior position. can affect men as well even women against women, or men against men feminists have argued that language use is basically sexist i.e. is biased towards women bias affects the way men treat women and the way women regard themselves many reforms aimed at improving the perceived lower status of women and removing connotations that treat women as sex objects Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

22. Sexist language: -language used to reproduce or represent a sexist stance that already exists in society: Generic Man: common terms used to reproduce this include man, mankind, the common man, and cavemen. Generic He and His: the so-called ‘neutral gender’ Words with positive connotation for men: confident forceful, strong, etc. Words with negative connotation to describe women: fickle, frivolous, timid, etc. Feminine markers for women derived from men's labels: waitress, actress, mistress, etc. Different metaphors to refer to men and women: 'power' animal metaphors for men e.g. lion, tiger, wolf, etc.; lower status food metaphors and baby animal names for women e.g. sugar, honey, tomato, cookie, piece of cake, chick, kitty, etc. Connotations of women as objects of sexual conquest: pussycat, baby, sweetie, skirt, etc. Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

23. Sex-Role Stereotyping Are doctors always male, and nurses always female? Are kindergarten teachers always female, and firemen male? What corrective measures may be taken? Summary: Men who have the power to name things, people, and events and language to assert their dominance over women; so what language reform is possible? Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

24. Heterosexism "refers to language used to disparage gay men and lesbians" DeVito's views about 'homophobic language' "denies the lesbian and gay identity a certain legitimacy" (2001, p. 104). Is this also a norm in Asian cultures, and more specifically in Malaysian culture(s) multiple norms depending on the number of primary cultures we have in the country? Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)

25. RACISM any conscious or subconscious attempt at using language that places a particular racial or ethnic group in an inferior position. Racist language is like sexist language – reflects and perpetuates racist attitudes in the same way that sexist language does for sexist attitudes What do racist attitudes emphasise? What are the socio-political effects of such attitudes in multiracial, multicultural societies? Racism is not only about speakers but also about the listeners who hold racist attitudes. How can we develop racism-free speech communication practices? Verbal Barriers (cont’d…)