Interpersonal Climate

2. Interpersonal Climate • Interpersonal climate is the overall feeling, or emotional mood between people. • It is the dominant feeling between people who are involved with each other. • It is the foundation of personal relationships.

3. Self-Disclosure When Appropriate • Self-disclose the kind of information you want others to disclose to you. • Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents an acceptable risk. • Move self-disclosure to deeper levels gradually. • Reserve intimate or very personal self-disclosure for ongoing relationships. • Continue intimate self-disclosure if reciprocated.

4. Benefits May increase trust May increase closeness May enhance self-esteem May increase security May enhance self-growth Risks Others may reject us Others may think less of us Others may violate our confidences Self-Disclosing

5. Johari Window Not known to self Known to self Open Blind Known to others Hidden Unknown Not known to others

6. The Gift of Confirmation “You matter to me.” Recognize Acknowledge Endorse Basic requirements for healthy communication!

7. Continuum of Interpersonal Climates Confirming Climate Mixed Climate Cycling Climate Disconfirming Climate

8. Nurture relationships through supportive not defensive communication Defensiveness – a negative feeling or behavior that results when a person feels threatened

9. Supportive Communication Defensive Communication • Evaluation • Description • Certainty • Provisionalism • Strategy • Spontaneity • Control • Problem orientation • Neutrality • Empathy • Superiority • Equality

10. Ethnocentrism is a form of certainty communication where we assume that our culture and its norms are the only right ones.

11. Conflict is • Natural • Inevitable • Potentially constructive

12. Conflict • Expressed disagreement—all conflict is expressed verbally or nonverbally. • Conflict can occur only between people who depend on each other. • Conflict involves opposition and is more than just differences. • The perception that our concerns are at odds with those of another • The perception that we and another must reconcile our differences

13. Principles of Conflict • Conflict is a natural process in all relationships. • Conflict may be overt or covert. • Overt conflict is out in the open and explicit. • Covert conflict is hidden and often unacknowledged. • Passive aggressiveness is aggression that is denied or disguised by the aggressor.

14. Principles of Conflict • Conflict may be managed well or poorly. • It can either promote continuing attachment or split a relationship apart, depending on how differences are managed . • It involves intense emotions that we may not know how to handle. • Learning communication conflict skills can help us deal with differences.

15. Principles of Conflict • Conflict may be good for individuals and relationships. • It allows us to consider other points of views. • It can support our own identity by clarifying how we differ from others. • It expands partners’ views of each other.

16. Responses to Relational Distress Active Destructive Constructive Passive

17. Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climates • Communication enhances a relationship. • Accept and confirm others. • Affirm and assert yourself. • Self-disclose when appropriate. • Respect diversity in relationships. • Fight fair. • Avoiding “stonewalling”.

18. Affirm and Assert Yourself • Assertion is a matter of clearly and nonjudgmentally stating what you feel, need, or want. • Aggression involves putting your needs above those of others. • Deference involves putting others needs ahead of yours. It is as important to affirm and accept yourself as to do that for others.

19. Experiencing Communication in our Lives . . . View the following video clip and then answer the questions that follow based on material presented in this chapter. A script of the scenario can be found at the end of Chapter 8.

20. Identify examples of mindreading and describe their impact on Martha and Andy’s discussion. • Identify communication that fosters a defensive interpersonal climate? • To what extent do you think Andy and Martha feel listened to by the other? • Do you perceive any relational level meanings that aren’t being addressed in this conversation? • You may go to your student CD that accompanies the text to compare your answers to Julia Wood’s.