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Improving Sentence Structure and Clarity

Learn how to improve sentence structure and clarity by rephrasing sentences. This exercise focuses on closely examining test results, observing phenomena during simulation runs, detecting errors while analyzing samples, emphasizing accuracy when calibrating instruments, and more.

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Improving Sentence Structure and Clarity

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  1. Exercise 17

  2. No.1 • (Worse) Closely examining the test results, the final trial was delayed by the laboratory manager for another two week. • (Better 1) Closely examining the test results, the laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week. • (Better 2) The laboratory manager delayed the final trial for another two week after closely examining the test results.

  3. No.2 • (Worse) He observed the phenomenon conducting the simulating run. • (Better) He observed the phenomenon while he was conducting the simulating run.

  4. No.3 • (Worse) The technician detected the error analyzing the samples. • (Better 1)While analyzing the samples, the technician detected the error. • (Better 2) The technician detected the error while analyzing the samples.

  5. No.4 • (Worse) Having a large database, much information is contained in the system’s network. • (Better 1) Having a large database, the system’s network contains much information. • (Better 2) The system’s network contains much information because it has a large database.

  6. No.5 • (Worse) The technology has been advanced to satisfy consumer demand in recent years. • (Better) The technology has been advanced in recent years to satisfy consumer demand.

  7. No.6 • (Worse) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, a decrease in production output was his decision. • (Better) After considering the consumer reaction, which is volatile in the early stages of development, he decided to decrease production output.

  8. No.7 • (Worse) When only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree. • (Better 1) When she was only seventeen years old, the university president granted her a doctorate degree. • (Better 2) The university president granted her a doctorate degree when only seventeen years old.

  9. No.8 • (Worse) To fully understand a lecture, note taking skills must be developed by the seminar participant. • (Better 1) To fully understand a lecture, the seminar participant must develop note taking skills. • (Better 2) The seminar participant must develop note taking skillsto fully understand a lecture,

  10. No.9 • (Worse) When a research assistant, my colleague helped me conduct many experiments. • (Better 1) My colleague helped me conduct many experiments when I was a research assistant. • (Better 2) When I was a research assistant,my colleague helped me conduct many experiments.

  11. No.10 • (Worse) To calibrate the instruments, accuracy should be emphasized. • (Better 1) To calibrate the instruments, the technician should emphasize accuracy. • (Better 2) The technician should emphasize accuracy when calibrate the instruments.

  12. No.11 • (Worse) To measure the boundary parameters, precision must be incorporated. • (Better 1) To measure the boundary parameters, the mathematician must incorporate precision. • (Better 2) The mathematician must be precise when measuring the boundary parameters.

  13. No.12 • (Worse) When preparing for an interview, background information of that company should be researched. • (Better 1) When preparing for an interview, a job applicant should research background information of that company. • (Better 2) A job applicant should research background information of that company when preparing for an interview.

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