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The Wounded Leader

The Wounded Leader. How Real Leadership Emerges in Times of Crisis. Strengthening the Heartbeat January 9-11, 2008 Calvin College, Prince Center, Grand Rapids, MI James A. DeKorne, VP of School Services Christian Schools International. Basic Questions.

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The Wounded Leader

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  1. The Wounded Leader How Real Leadership Emerges in Times of Crisis Strengthening the Heartbeat January 9-11, 2008 Calvin College, Prince Center, Grand Rapids, MI James A. DeKorne, VP of School Services Christian Schools International

  2. Basic Questions • Q1: How does a reasonable, well-intentioned person, who happens to be a school leader, preserve a healthy sense of self in the face of factors that challenge that self?

  3. Basic Questions • Q2: What perspective on the work of leadership can shed light on these challenges and produce a mind-set that leaves the individual open to learn and grow from these experiences?

  4. Early Advice “Never trust anyone without a limp.”

  5. Premise of Our Work • The scope of wounding is universal • Everyone experiences it • The result of wounding is powerful • For good or for ill • The details of wounding remain very personal • Even when many details are public, the wound itself is private • One context for wound-healing and sense-making is story-telling • Being able to talk with trusted colleagues begins the healing process

  6. Book Definitions Quest Restitution Crisis You Chaos

  7. Book Outline Conditions (Susceptibility of School Leaders)

  8. The Fertile Soil • Isolation • Need for control • Other-centeredness – responding to others’ needs • Public exposure • Conformity to others’ expectations – difficult to be fully you • Subverted power – powerlessness • Fear • Issues are unacknowledged and hidden

  9. Book Outline Descriptions (Anatomy of a Wound) Conditions (Susceptibility of School Leaders)

  10. What Hurts? • Core value dissonance • Thwarted deepest desires and goals • Unanswered prayer • Differing agendas • Public misunderstanding

  11. Book Outline Responses (How to survive, thrive, and grow) Descriptions (Anatomy of a Wound) Conditions (Susceptibility of School Leaders)

  12. Responses • Acknowledgment • Honesty • Pay attention to unattended areas • Thank God for your wounds • Invite others into your world • “The wound is not the crisis, it is how you respond to it”

  13. Book Outline Responses (How to survive, thrive, and grow) Descriptions (Anatomy of a Wound) Conditions (Susceptibility of School Leaders) Ministry (How to help others)

  14. Pathologies that Prevent Ministry • Denial of your own woundedness • Dumping on others • Directing all energies to eliminate pain • Displaying woundedness as a badge • “Wounds are pathways to become what you are capable of; they are not ends in themselves.”

  15. Ministry • What to do if you meet a wounded leader crossing the road: • Don’t ask, “Why did you cross the road?” • Ask: “What is happening now?” • Stay in touch with your own fear – it may soon be you. • Ask: “How do you feel about it?” • Don’t push the person in a direction you might choose yourself. • Ask: “What do you want to do about it?” • Use your own wounds to develop understanding and compassion. • Laugh at fearful things together. • Just listen. • Bring them to Jesus.

  16. Book Outline Responses (How to survive, thrive, and grow) Descriptions (Anatomy of a Wound) Conditions (Susceptibility of School Leaders) Ministry (How to help others)

  17. Biblical Examples • Peter • “I don’t know the man!” x 3 • “Do you love me?” x 3 • Paul • “Persecution zeal” award • Sent to live with other believers

  18. Paul’s Words to You To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh [i.e. a wound], a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, [my wounds] so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

  19. Our Task • Group Discussion • Only reveal what you feel comfortable saying • No need to impress anyone • Focus on what others can learn • Goals • Tell your story • Develop capacity to hear other stories

  20. Questions to Guide Us • Describe a time when you have been wounded. • Did anything good come from it? • Would you want to repeat the experience? Why or why not? • Have you implemented any strategies to prevent wounding? Is that a good thing?

  21. Questions to Guide Us • In the ‘quest’, wounding is the only way to achieve what needs to be achieved. • Can you name a wounding experience that you can look back on with gratefulness?

  22. The Journey Continues …

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