How Strategic Mediation Tools Can Help HR Professionals

How Strategic Mediation Tools Can Help HR Professionals Deidra Davidson Director of Training and Community Relations, Dispute Resolution Center Arlaine Decrevel Community Volunteer Mediator, Dispute Resolution Center

Biography Deidra is a facilitator, trainer, presenter, mediator, curriculum developer, web administrator, and interpreter for the deaf. Deidra received her degree from CFNI in Dallas, TX. She has worked in various kinds of alternative dispute resolution since 1995. Deidra has served in a variety of roles at the DRC including Case Manager, Director of Training, Case Management, Volunteer Services & Technology as well as her current role as the Director of Training and Community Relations. She has served as a member of DOVIA (Directors of Volunteers In Austin), Executive Women’s Guild, Mediator Trainers Roundtable, and as a Trainer for the Texas Institute For Public Problem Solving, (TIPPS). She also coaches for the 40-Hour Mediation, LBJ School and Advanced Family Training Courses. She likes to focus her attention to facilitating, training groups and providing mediation services to the community, emphasizing the alternative with enthusiasm and vigor to help others appreciate the benefits of dispute resolution. Deidra Davidson Director of Training & Community Relations Dispute Resolution Center

Biography Arlaine is an independent advisor for Human Resources, Mediation, and Strategic Management in the Austin, Texas area. Arlaine received her Professional in Human Resources (PHR) certification from HRCI, as well as her Human Resources Management Certificate from University of Texas at Austin in December 2013. She holds three degrees in Business Administration; an MBA from University of Phoenix, a Bachelor of Science from Millikin University, and an Associate in Science from Richland Community College. She has led, coached, and mentored others in various kinds of strategic negotiation and mediation roles throughout her career as a Senior Human Resources Manager and Senior Division Manager in Trade Marketing for Fortune 500 consumer packaged goods companies. She completed the 40-HR Basic Mediation Course at the Dispute Resolution Center (DRC) in August 2013. Arlaine has served as an intern for Deidra Davidson, Director of Training and Public Relations and as a volunteer mediator with the DRC since September 2013. She is a member of AHRMA’s Marketing Committee and a participant in AHRMA’s Stepping Stones to Enhanced Leadership Program for 2014. She is also involved with several local and statewide mediation associations, the Texas Association of Mediators (TAM), the Austin Association of Mediators (AAM), and the Texas Mediator Credentialing Association (TMCA). Arlaine Decrevel, MBA, PHR, CCM Community Volunteer Mediator Dispute Resolution Center

Learning Objectives • Benefits of Strategic Mediation Tools for HR Professionals • Five Situational Conflict Modes Defined • Identifying Position and Interests of Conflicting Parties • Asking Open-ended Questions to uncover Root Causes • Using Neutral Language to diffuse Conflicts and build Collaboration

Benefits of Using Strategic Mediation Tools • HR Professionals impact the culture of their organization by interacting with multiple internal and external customers. • Mediation tools can help HR Professionals build collaborative bridges with organizational stakeholders. • HR Professionals can coach, train, and mentor others in using mediation tools to solidify win-win relationships.

“IN YOUR FACE” (IYF) Situational Reference #1: Two people get in each other’s faces, compete, challenge each other or struggle. Both want to win, which means the other will have to lose. This is a “win-lose” situation for both parties. This conflict mode is called COMPETITION or CONFRONTATION. Ex: “I’m not cleaning this up – you can’t make me.”

“Not My Problem” (NMP) Situational Reference #2: You say you don’t have a problem, or it isn’t a problem to you. This conflict mode is called DENIAL. Ex: “This isn’t my mess. I didn’t do it. It looks fine to me.”

“Let It Slide” (LIS) Situational Reference #3: One person goes along with what the other person wants, either because the issue is not very important or because the relationship with the other person is more important. This conflict mode is called ACCOMMODATION. Ex: “I’ll clean this up. I know you are busy and you like to have things look nice. Let’s go out to eat later.”

“Split The Difference” (SD) Situational Reference #4: Two people agree to each get some portion of what they want so that the other person can get some of what they want. Each gets something, but not as much as they want. This conflict mode is called a COMPROMISE. Ex: “I know, we’ll clean this up together. So we can go out to lunch earlier.”

“Talk It Out” (TIO) Situational Reference #5: Trying to find an answer or solution to a conflict TOGETHER. This conflict mode is called PROBLEM SOLVING or finding a WIN-WIN solution. Ex: “Neither of us is happy about the solution. Let’s figure out how to fix it.”

So….How Do We Talk It Out?

Positions and Interests • A POSITION What we say we Must Have… The solution we Demand… Position Statement: “I have to have that job!!!” *A POSITION IS THE OUTER LAYER* “Peeling Back the Onion”

Positions and Interests • AN INTEREST Something we Want… Something Important to us… Something we Need… Possible Interests: “I am saving money for a car.” “That job pays more than another job.” “I need to make money to help my family.” *AN INTEREST IS THE CORE OF THE MATTER*

Identifying Interests

Asking Questions • What are ‘Closed’ Questions? - Questions with a brief or one to two word answer. • What are ‘Leading’ Questions? - Questions that include an opinion and or a contraction, such as Shouldn’t you, Couldn’t you, Don’t you think? • What are ‘Why’ Questions? - Questions that start with the word ‘Why’? • What are ‘Open-Ended’ Questions? - Questions that start with ‘What’ or ‘How’?

Interactive Exercise: What Do You Want to Change About Yourself?

Open-Ended Questions REMEMBER: • Ask open-ended questions to solve the mystery of why someone takes a certain position.

We Talk It Out and Then ????

Neutral Language • Use behavioral rather than evaluative terms. • - Name the feeling, for example“I hear the sadness in your voice.” • Frame the concern in terms of the speaker’s needs, rather than in terms of the other disputant’s behaviors. • - “So you are saying you are scared of what may happen if…” Use language that describes what the other person has done in a neutral way. - Avoid therapeutic language, such as“I feel or I understand.” Frame one party’s descriptions or claims in terms of their perceptions. - “It seems that you tried to do all you could to improve the situation.” Avoid feeling words that may sound derogatory or judgmental. - “You sound like you want to resolve the issue” vs. “It’s your fault this happened.”

Brainstorming Options • Maintain objectivity and neutrality of the situation. • Encourage as many problem-solving options as possible. • Facilitate the conversation as needed but let the interested parties offer their own ideas in resolving the conflict. • Allow all options to be presented before the parties decide on or pass judgment on the options list. • Keep the focus on the building a positive future, not conflict of the past. “GET BUY IN”

Finding a Solution • Oral Agreements: • A verbal exchange or agreement of promises or commitments. • Written Agreements: • A formal or informal written agreement of promises or commitments, which may include timelines for follow up. • Interim Agreements: • A temporary agreement or trial period of promises or commitments until a permanent agreement is reached. • Proposals: • An individual offer, promise, or commitment made by each party that is not mutually agreed upon.

Summary of Strategic Mediation Tools • Talk About The Problem • Listen • Tell Your Interests • Ask Open-Ended Questions to Discover Other’s Interests • Figure Out Position and Interests • Summarize Everyone’s Position and Interests • Get Buy In to Find a Solution Everyone Can Agree To • Brainstorm Options • Help to Generate as Many Options as Possible • Don’t Judge Ideas While Brainstorming • Choose A Solution • Get Buy In on a Solution Everyone Can Feel Good About • Summarize the Agreement

Questions?

Dispute Resolution Center • Dispute Resolution Center 5407 N. IH-35, Suite 410 Austin, Texas 78723 • www.austindrc.org • Mediation Services: • Civil Litigation Mediation • Juvenile Court Victim/Offender Mediation • Juvenile Court Prerelease/Parent Child Mediation • Mediation Training: • 40 HR BASIC MEDIATION • August 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 2014 • October 22, 23, 24, 28, 29, 2014 • ADVANCED FAMILY MEDIATION • July 21, 22, 23, 24, 2015 • CUSTOMIZED MEDIATION TRAINING • Upon Request

Mediation Resources Online Resources and Associations: • Association for Conflict Resolution, www.acrnet.org • Austin Association of Mediators, www.austinmediators.org • Center for Public Policy Dispute Resolution, University of Texas Law School, www.utexas.edu/law/centers/cppdr • Dispute Resolution Center, www.austindrc.org • Mediate.com, www.mediate.com • State Bar of Texas ADR Section, www.texasadr.org • Texas Association of Mediators, www.txmediator.org • Texas Mediator Credentialing Association, www.txmca.org

How Strategic Mediation Tools Can Help HR Professionals