Writing with Voice

Writing with Voice

Review of the elements of voice Voice • Diction (word choice) • Detail (facts, observations, incidents) • Imagery (paints a picture, uses senses, a verbal representation of sense experience) Simile, metaphor, hyperbole, personification, onomatopoeia • Syntax – Word order, grammatical sentence structure • Tone – attitude and emotion, gives voice its distinctive personality, point of view is part of tone

Mary walked down the road. As a group use the elements of voice to make this sentence better – Diction, detail, imagery, syntax, and tone

One group’s improved sentence is below. What parts of voice did they use to craft this into a better sentence? The beautiful brown-eyed Betty skipped down the blooming garden path.

Now, use the elements of voice to improve your writing – just do it! Yesterday we looked at how writers use voice to make their writing better. Today we will use postcards to practice what we learned. I want you to choose a postcard and pretend you are writing a story set in the scene in the postcard. Make it seem like part of the story and describe the scene using good voice (imagery, details, diction, tone, and syntax).

One more thing Be sure you incorporate an excellent description of the scene on the postcard into your story. There are similar postcards and in a little while you will exchange written passages and see if others can pick the correct postcard based on your description.

Some examples from other students follow. On most slides you will see two postcard scenes. See if you can tell which postcard scene the student is describing. Identify some aspects of voice the student used in his/her description.

The little boy smiled gracefully in the sunshine while the frog barfed up water upon rippled glass water. By As they approached the center of the garden, they beheld an extraordinary golden figure. Bow aimed upwards with her dog by her side, her golden glare gave the brick pyramid and shallow water beneath her a golden glow.

I’m now flying over the Piazza del Campo in Siena, Italy. From the look of it everyone looks like ants. People are running around from store to store. If you look at it from my point of view, I’m like a bird. The plaza looks like a baseball field from the angle in the air.

As I was gazing around I noticed that there were two flags standing in the river that flowed behind this huge castle. The kudzu covers the wall so pretty and hanging over almost touching the water. The setting in this story is sunset all the street lights are on. The water under the bridge is calm. Not much traffic, except for one car who is lost going across the lonely bridge.

At the far side of the garden was a large statue. Possibly the prettiest part of the garden. Carved in stone was a man riding a great Pegasus. With Pegasus’ wings out stretched to the heavens; with clouds and mountains below it’s mystical hooves. I quickly fell in love with this beautiful sculpture.

He went fishing in the grassy water. Bushes and grass surrounded the water. He paddled his boat to the end of the creek, where there was a treeline for almost a mile. And all the way across the wetlands was green grass. The inlet was really calm, it was a chilly morning and we were ready to go fishing. There was a white crane sitting on the dock’s roof. The crane was stealing the morning sunshine’s warmth.

This is a hermitage where the monks used to live and pray. The water below it looks of crystal clear. The great, green trees all around the old brick building are tall as giants.. The windows upon the hermitage look very dark and silent. There seems to be an unsecured fence surrounding the building, made of branches. It may be used to keep out animals

Elements of Voice D2IST • Detail - facts, observations, incidents • Diction – word choice • Imagery - paints a picture, uses senses, a verbal representation of sense experience • Syntax - Word order, grammatical sentence structure • Tone - attitude and emotion, gives voice its distinctive personality

Writing with Voice