Ch. 4: revising Written Messages

1. Ch. 4: revisingWritten Messages MGT 3213 – Org. Communication

2. Process for Planning and Preparing Spoken and Written Messages

3. Step five:prepare your draft • Write! • Avoid writing in binges • Write while you’re fresh • Resist the temptation to do other things first • End your writing at a place where it will be easy to pick up again • Establish a few regular places where you do nothing but serious writing

4. Typos are important, but they really don’t impact the company’s bottom line. True or false?

5. Typo Leads to Stock Market Chaos • May 6, 2010 • Dow fell almost 1,000 points in half an hour • Computerized sell off began when a trader placed an order to sell $16 billion instead of $16 million • “Today … caused me to fall out of my chair at one point. It felt like we lost control,” Jack Ablin, chief investment officer at Harris Private Bank.

6. The Comma that Cost $1 Million • August 2006, contract dispute between Canada’s largest cable provider and telephone company • Rogers Communication vs. Bell Aliant • Citing the “rules of punctuation,” Canada’s telecommunications regulator ruled that the comma allowed Bell Aliant to end its contract

7. The dispute is over this sentence: • “This agreement shall be effective from the date it is made and shall continue in force for a period of five (5) years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five (5) year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”

8. Establishing credibility • Demonstrate expertise and competence • Typos and errors = undereducated, lazy, not detail-oriented, unintelligent • Demonstrate personal ethics and integrity • Demonstrate emotional control • Develop a professional image • Personality traits • Appearance/image

9. Tips for improving your grammar (and credibility) • Read as much as possible, and as diversely as possible • Allows you to subconsciously internalize correct grammar • Bad vocabulary? • Play word games and puzzles • Read!! • Become self-aware of your areas of weakness • Edit other people’s writing • Ask for feedback from someone you trust • Have good tools on hand (dictionary, grammar handbook, thesaurus)

11. Proofreading • Read from audience’s perspective • Ensure you are using active voice • Emphasize important ideas • Improve readability

12. Procedures for Proofreading • Use spell check to locate simple keying errors and repeated words • Print a draft of the document • Proofread several times • content, organization, and style • mechanical errors • Edit for format and layout

13. More Proofreading Techniques • Read your work backwards, starting with the last sentence and working your way in reverse order to the beginning. 2. Read your work out loud. This forces you to read each word individually and increases the odds that you'll find a typo.

14. More Proofreading Tips 3. Always proofread a printed version of your work. 4. Give yourself some time. If possible, let your work sit for a while before you proofread it. 5. Allow others to make suggestions “You have nothing to lose but much to gain….” (Lehman/Dufrene)

15. Passive vs. Active Voice Active = subject acts. The dog bit the boy. Passive = subject receives action. The boy was bitten by the dog.

16. Changing Passive to Active • Who is performing the action? • If not stated, infer. • Look for “by the” • Flip the parts of the sentence The book is being read by the class. The class is reading the book.

17. Emphasize Important Ideas • Sentence structure • Simple sentence • Compound sentence • Complex sentence • Repetition • Words that label • Position

18. Factors Affecting Readability • Difficult words • Three or more syllable words • Does not include compound words, proper nouns, or words where a suffix adds a syllable • Sentence length and structure • Passive voice

19. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Lee, 1With interest rates at their lowest level in 20 years, you chose a good time to buy your first house. 2Choosing a fixed mortgage rate allowed you to “lock in” your 6 percent interest rate, protecting you from potential increases in interest rates before your closing. 3Had you selected a variable rate mortgage, you could have taken advantage of the recent drop in interest rates. 4However, you would have been subject to later increases in interest rates. 5If interest rates continue to decline, you may want to considerrefinancing your fixed rate mortgage. 6Refinancing is typically cost effective when interest rates are 1 percent below your current mortgage rate. 7Mr. and Mrs. Lee, we are glad to have been of service in your recent home purchase. 8Please call me if you need information about other financing needs.

20. Calculating Readability No. of words: 138 No. of sentences: 8 Average sentence length: 17 (138 ÷ 8 = 17) No. of difficult words: 16 Percentage of difficult words: 11.6% (16 ÷ 138 = 11.6) Average sentence length 17.0 + Percentage difficult words 11.6 28.6 x 0.4 (constant) Readability level11.4

21. Desirable readability index for business writing 8–11 grade Considering the Audience

22. Enable Readability Statistics • Word 2007: • Select the Microsoft office button • Select “Word Options” • Click “Proofing” • Make sure “Check grammar with spelling” is selected • Make sure “Show readability statistics” is selected • To get stats, select the “Review” tab and run the spelling and grammar check

23. Enabling Readability Statistics • Word 97-2003: • Open the “Tools” menu • Select “Options” • Select the “Spelling and Grammar” tab • Make sure “Show readability statistics” is checked

24. An alternative:the human-interest test • Flesch’s human interest score hinges on two measures: • Personal words. They include: • Nouns with natural gender, such as mother, father, Frank and Opal • Pronouns except for neuter pronouns — he and she, for instance, but not it • The words people (used with the plural verb) and folks

25. 2. Personal sentences. These test how interesting and conversational the copy is. Count: • Quotations, whether marked by quotation marks or not • Imperative sentences, or those addressed to the reader, including questions, commands and requests • Exclamations • Grammatically incomplete sentences whose meaning the reader must infer from the context • The higher the percentage of personal words and personal sentences, the higher the human interest score.

26. Applying Visual Enhancements to Improve Readability • Enumerated or bulleted lists • Headings • Tables and graphs • Lines and borders • Relevant images

27. Example: Before This is a multipurpose passenger vehicle which will handle and maneuver differently from an ordinary passenger car, in driving conditions which may occur on streets and highways and off road. As with other vehicles of this type, if you make sharp turns or abrupt maneuvers, the vehicle may roll over or may go out of control and crash. You should read driving guidelines and instructions in the Owner's Manual, and WEAR YOUR SEAT BELTS AT ALL TIMES.

28. Example: After Source: http://www.plainlanguage.gov

29. State information as truthfully and fairly as possible Do not exaggerate facts Express ideas understandably Support viewpoint with facts State ideas with consideration that preserves receiver’s self-worth Design honest graphics Ensure Ethical Communication

30. Before After notification of NMFS, this final rule requires all CA/OR DGN vessel operators to have attended one Skipper Education Workshop after all workshops have been convened by NMFS in September 1997. CA/OR DGN vessel operators are required to attend Skipper Education Workshops at annual intervals thereafter, unless that requirement is waived by NMFS. NMFS will provide sufficient advance notice to vessel operators by mail prior to convening workshops. www.plainlanguage.gov

31. After After notification from NMFS, vessel operators must attend a skipper education workshop before commencing fishing each fishing season. www.plainlanguage.gov