Chapter 6

1. Chapter 6 Writing News Stories

2. Building on the lead • Now you have written a good lead and you have readers interested • The next step is to reel them in • You don’t want to lose them after all the effort you put in to writing your lead • One way to hold their interest is to use a quote immediately • Quotes add human voice and a personal touch to the story

3. Building on the lead • Let’s begin with this lead: • The school board has approved funding for a new performing arts center, Board President Elizabeth Anderson announced Wednesday. • Here is an example of a back-up quote that would support the lead: • “We need to support the arts in our schools,” Anderson said. “This tells students that we care about their arts education.”

4. Transitions • Transitions are the glue of a news story (they hold it together) • They make your story unfold logically by taking your readers from subject to subject, fact to fact, place to place without losing them or confusing them • Generally, the transition shouldn’t stick out • A transition can be any of the following: • A fact • An indirect quote • A partial quote

5. Fact transition example Two-time Grammy winner, Carrie Underwood, will perform a benefit concert at JHS next week. (lead) “This concert is for Hillary Flink and her parents,” she said. “We hope to raise $200,000 to help pay for Hillary’s medical bills.” (direct quote) Underwood lost her best friend to leukemia two years ago. (fact transition)

6. Indirect Quote Transition Example Two-time Grammy winner, Carrie Underwood, will perform a benefit concert at JHS next week. (lead) “This concert is for Hillary Flink and her parents,” she said. “We hope to raise $200,000 to help pay for Hillary’s medical bills.” (direct quote) After losing her best friend to leukemia two years ago, Underwood said she is trying to help educate America about the disease. (indirect quote transition)

7. Partial Quote Transition Example Two-time Grammy winner, Carrie Underwood, will perform a benefit concert at JHS next week. (lead) “This concert is for Hillary Flink and her parents,” she said. “We hope to raise $200,000 to help pay for Hillary’s medical bills.” (direct quote) After losing her best friend to leukemia two years ago, Underwood said she wants to “help as many people as she can fight this horrible disease.” (Partial quote transition)

8. Transition Words • Use transitional words to help with the flow (as needed). • Examples of Transition words: Therefore, After all, Also, Finally, In addition, However, Otherwise, Then, Later, etc. etc. • For example: In addition to giving the benefit concert, Underwood plans to give $50,000 of her own money to the Flink family.

9. The Body of the Story • So now you have written the lead and a supporting quote, it’s time to write the body- the rest of your story • You have most likely summarized the most important information in the first sentence, so now you must elaborate • As the pyramid narrows, the facts get less and less important • In other words, as you work your way through the story, you state the facts from most important to least important

10. Other organizational patterns • Not all stories HAVE to be written in inverted pyramid style • Since newspapers are no longer the number 1 source of breaking news, it makes little sense for them to announce something that everyone saw on television 10 hours earlier • So newspapers are starting to move more towards a storytelling style of writing

11. Storytelling Style • Stories that use this style draw the reader into the drama of the event by telling it as a story • The writer sets the scene, introduces the characters, and narrates the event • It could be written in chronological order or could gradually reveal information in a way that builds suspense • Never be afraid to try an unusual approach

12. Combination Style • An increasingly popular style that combines the summary lead with a chronological storytelling style • The first paragraph summarizes, and the rest tells the story in the order in which it occurred • This approach is particularly appropriate for action stories • For instance, if a dog wanders into your school, you may want to describe how he entered, where he visited first, and how he was eventually removed, rather than just stating the facts • P.S. This style will work great for your Christmas story!

13. Combination Style Example A dog with a cold nose for news strolled into the journalism class Thursday, saw that his help wasn’t needed, and then took the grand tour of the building, upsetting test tubes, disrupting gym class, and disturbing study halls before being expelled. The dog’s presence became known during fifth period when he stuck his nose in the offices of The Acorn……

14. Sidebars • A story that is related to the main story, but kept separate from it • It usually requires some other approach than inverted pyramid • For example, in the case of a major tragedy such as Hurricane Katrina, the mainbar will tell about the number of deaths and amount of damage, while the sidebar might be an eyewitness account of how the storm developed • The sidebar provides extra detail or “color” so it needs to grab the reader’s attention

15. Appropriate Newspaper Style

16. Avoid offensive language • You owe it to your audience to be sensitive to the feelings of others • For lack of a better term, you need to be “politically correct” • We’ve come a long way. If you were to watch a news broadcast from the 1930s or 40s, you could expect to see people stereotyped by race, age and gender • Offensive terms relating to racial or ethnic background are absolutely forbidden • The only exception to this is…..

17. continued • If it is in a quote that is absolutely, without a doubt essential to the story • For example: if the president of a college was fired because of a racial slur, journalists will have to use the word in their stories about the case • Other than these rare situations, offensive language should be avoided at ALL COSTS

18. Biases • We all have them, whether we like to admit it or not • Sometimes biases can creep into your story without you noticing • Be very careful to edit for biases relating to gender, race, socioeconomic status, religion, sexual orientation, etc. • Biases can happen through language (example: calling a woman a “chick”) or simply by how you cover the story (example: if you are a white male and every person you interview for your story is also a white male)

19. Be succinct • Select words with the utmost care in order to eliminate confusion • Express yourself in a clear, concise way • Remember that the average American is on a 3rd to 6th grade reading level, so excess verbiage is most likely to confuse rather than impress • In every sentence that you write, look for words to cut and ways to shorten or simplify

20. continued • Don’t write: The Association of the Bar of the City of New York • Write: The New York City Bar Association • Don’t write: He was wearing a shirt that was made of cotton and that had been borrowed from a friend of his. • Write: He was wearing a borrowed cotton shirt.

21. Use Clear, Simple Words • The goal in journalism is the opposite of in your English papers. You are trying to communicate, not impress the audience with beautiful language. • Here are a few example of common pretentious words with their clearer synonyms in parenthesis • Location (site) • Purchase (buy) • Precipitation (rain, snow) • Identical (same) • Terminate (end) • Inebriated (drunk) • Proceed (go) • Demeanor (behavior)

22. Jargon • The insider language of certain groups • Every group has it’s own set of jargon. This applies to sports players, journalists, doctors, actors, politician….pretty much everyone • A few examples: • Actors say “strike the set” when they mean take it down • Journalists say things like “spike that story” which means don’t publish it • Members of the military go to “chow” or “mess” instead of “dinner”

23. Jargon continued • The problem with jargon is that it can be so “inside” that people on the outside don’t understand what is being expressed • Translate those kinds of terms for your readers • If they are contained in quotes, you can replace them with the clarifying words using brackets [ ] • Example: If the original quote was this: “We decided to spike the story because it was too controversial,” journalism adviser Nikki McAdams said. • Instead, we could replace the jargon like this: “We decided [not to publish] the story because it was too controversial,” journalism adviser Nikki McAdams said.

24. Redundancy • Avoid redundancy • Expressions such as • 2 a.m. in the morning • The orange is spherical in shape • This statement is repetitive and redundant • Remember that in many cases, especially for student publication, you are writing under strict spacial constraints, so excess words MUST be eliminated

25. Clichés • A cliché is an overused, old expression such as.. • Free as a bird • Since the dawn of time • Avoid it like the plague, etc. etc. • A good rule of thumb: never use a figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print • It implies that you are too lazy to come up with fresh new figures of speech • Also, many times these clichés are dubbed by most as being corny

26. Passive voice • Avoid writing sentences in passive voice • These sentences usually sound weak • Example of passive voice: All students were requested by the Student Council to use the recycling bins. • Active voice: The Student Council requests all students to use the recycling bins. • Basically, state WHO did WHAT rather than WHAT was done BY WHOM • Many times it is as simple as locating the subject and verb of your sentence and un-inverting it